Is my nursery lying about mealtimes?

[DudleyMonkeyPuzzler]

My DS (1yr old) has now been at nursery for two weeks, not long before he started he had a really bad virus which knocked him about a lot, and since then it’s been a struggle to get his appetite back. By the time he started nursery he was back to eating simple foods like toast, fruit and yoghurt, but point-blank refusing to eat meals he used to love, like spag bol, chicken stew, chickpea curry etc.

However, since he started nursery his report log is suggesting that he’s eating most if not all of the meals they’re providing, all stuff I’ve not managed to get him to eat since he was ill. So I’m wondering, is the nursery “massaging the truth” about what he’s actually eating, perhaps to protect my peace of mind? Is this a thing they do in other people’s experience? Or am I likely being paranoid?

I imagine it’s possible that in a different environment surrounded by other kids eating he might have more interest in the food, but just finding it really hard to believe.

I’d like to question the nursery about it, but can’t think of a good way to do it diplomatically.

Kids are cheeky like this and eat/do things differently for different people and settings!!

could you phrase it: since XX has been unwell I’m struggling to get him to eat much at home. I noticed on his log it says he’s eating XYZ….is he eating full portions/how are you offering it?

I’d hope nursery staff would care!! It’s a sign of many things if a child isn’t eating!!

What would they gain from lying? Most kids I know eat loads at nursery and nothing at home… it’s amazing the impact sitting down to eat with other kids has.

It makes zero difference to me if little Arlo eats some or most of his chickpea tagine, I'd have no interest in lying about it.

Great that you wouldn’t lie. But surely you should still care??

I helped at my DCs nursery a couple of times and the bar is so low, there are loads of kids who eat almost nothing and just push food around, the portions are also tiny. Think of the kid you know who you hate having mealtimes around and there will be one there, with everything better than that classed as good eating.

One girl got a mini round of applause for putting half a grape in her mouth before spitting it out and mum was told "she's doing so much better with fruit and vegetables."

My child can be incredibly fussy at home but at the childminders he eats everything! They upload photos daily to his care diary and I can clearly see he just obviously doesn’t like my cooking

If a child doesn't eat anything or is very under weight it's a concern, but the exact amount a healthy child eats at each meal - no, I don't care.
That's the reason kids usually eat better at childcare - adults aren't fussing around them stressing over every bite.

DD was a good eater really, but definitely ate things at nursery that she wouldn't at home.

I remember her telling me on the drive home what she'd had for lunch when she was 2/3 and I asked her if I cooked that at home would she eat it. She said 'don't be silly mummy, I only eat that at nursery!'

So that told me! 😂

I take it you don't work in childcare? What do you think they should be doing to show more care? They can't force feed children! It's perfectly normal for kids to go though periods of not eating much or being fussy. They have a duty to serve healthy food and let parents know what and how much they ate.

This isnt the same as not reporting or safeguarding malnourished children which goes without saying.

Are you talking about a ‘corporate ‘ care home? I genuinely wouldn’t trust anything about them ! All bells and whistles ..

My little one has a very poor intake, always has. Both her nurseries have always been very on the ball with her low intake, raised concerns to me about it and discussed it with me at pick up. I don't see why they would lie.

My daughter used to eat amazingly well at nursery and seemed quite fussy with me. She’s better with me now and eats most things but I think the group eating at nursery helps and encourages the children to eat. It’s always worth asking them for peace of mind!

Yes I’ve worked in childcare. And I have always cared what they eat. Saying “I don’t care” sounds harsh to me. But that’s my opinion and I realise that others don’t care what kids eat.

I was replying to the bit where you said “why would I care”. To me that sounds harsh. especially as you added a laughing emoji.

As a child, I would eat food at my grandmother's that I wouldn't touch at home. I can easily believe that, in a different environment, such as nursery, a child will eat foods they won't consider eating at home.

To all the posters saying "why would they lie?" I think this sums it up. They have a lot of kids and how much time do they really have to check exactly how much each have eaten? I'd assume they'd just say "ate most of it" for nearly all the kids as it's easiest or they don't know, not because they deliberately want to lie to parents.

Though pp says sometimes not nearly all of the time.

An educated guess sometimes wouldn't bother me, to be fair and is also different to deliberately saying they ate all or most when they barely touched it.

Bear in mind that they might be serving very small portions so their “all” might be very different to what you are visualising. I had to collect DD once just as she was being given a chocolate brownie for dessert. It was about the size of a stamp, and I mean the pre-barcode stamps. It was also largely made out of beetroot &
courgette.

Slightly different, but DS never napped in his cot during the day. Had to walk miles whilst he napped in his pram. Told nursery when he started there at 1 that they would struggle to get him to nap. They had no problems whatsoever! Quite happily napped in the cot there

Yep, also the fact that they just….. nap?! 🤯 mine only ever napped in their pram at home - day 1 at nursery; fell asleep on the floor with all the rest. Witchcraft.

I’ve worked in nurseries and as a nanny to children in the nursery so would take them home for dinner and bath etc straight from nursery.

I have taken the same food they were fed for lunch literally out of the kitchen into a Tupperware, home, and despite me watching them wolf it down at 11.45, by 5pm it was considered satans food and they wouldn’t touch it.

Kids are frankly, fucking annoying with shit like that

Neither of mine ever ate the hot lunch but would eat breakfast, snack and tea. I had feedback of them never eating g the lunches for about 6 years between them! So they really would say if they were.

It’s because all their little buddies are eating. Mine demolishes everything at nursery but can be fussy at home as she knows where the snacks are!!

All the parents used to laugh and roll their eyes when the reports were given at the end of the day saying all the things the kids had eaten, none of us believed it I'm afraid.
I realised that 75% of it was down their tops and in their hair so that's probably where its gone!

I ended up chaging nurseries and I got a lot more believable reports of not eating much and they came home clean as a whistle funnily enough.