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Nursery keeps ringing parents to collect our daughter

219 replies

NaptimeNavigator · 12/01/2026 21:05

(mistake in the title - nursery keeps ringing US to collect our daughter)

This topic has been discussed before, but our situation feels slightly different, so I’m starting a new thread.

Our 2‑year‑old daughter started nursery on 21 October 2025, and as of today (12 January), we’ve already been called 26 times to collect her due to a “high fever.” Their policy is: cool the child down, administer Calpol, wait 30 minutes, and if there’s no improvement, the parents must collect the child.

What feels strange is that not once has she improved after Calpol at nursery, yet at home she responds to it 9 times out of 10. Out of those 26 occasions, she was only genuinely unwell on about 4 or 5 days. The rest of the time, she was completely fine once we picked her up.

In most cases, the moment she leaves the classroom, the “fever” seems to vanish. She’s suddenly happy, energetic, singing, playing, and remains perfectly well for the rest of the day. This morning we even checked her temperature before leaving home—she was absolutely fine.

These constant calls are now affecting our job stability and mental wellbeing. Both my partner and I work in secondary schools, and we’ve exhausted our paid childcare absence allowance. Any further absences are unpaid and at the headteacher’s discretion. It’s incredibly stressful having to explain yet again that the nursery has called us.

We also don’t have family nearby, so there’s no backup support.

We’ve asked the nursery whether her temperature could be spiking due to distress or emotional upset—something we’ve read can happen in young children. They dismissed this, saying emotions only show externally and don’t affect internal temperature. But it’s hard not to feel like they simply want her collected whenever she’s tearful or unsettled. It’s difficult to understand how she can have a fever only at nursery and then be completely normal the moment she leaves.

Their policy is to send a child home if their temperature is ≥38°C and hasn’t improved after 30 minutes. Our issue is that 30 minutes isn’t long enough for Calpol to work for her—she usually needs closer to an hour. When we’ve tried to explain this, we’re told there is no flexibility because “it’s policy.” It leaves us feeling like they’re not making much effort to support her when she’s emotional, and we have no way of verifying the temperature readings they claim to take.

I’ve also read that some nurseries are stricter because they’re short‑staffed, which makes the whole situation even more concerning.

We’re now reluctantly looking into a childminder. There would be fewer children (just our daughter and two others), the environment is calmer, and childminders generally have a slightly higher threshold before asking parents to collect a child. With fewer children, there’s also less chance of constant bugs being passed around.

Sorry for the long post, but we’re genuinely at a breaking point. We’d prefer for her to stay at the nursery, but the current situation is pushing us toward choosing a childminder as the only realistic option.

Just wondering if anyone has had similar experience?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Equalizer · 12/01/2026 21:10

Sounds like your nursery is not a good fit and it makes sense to try something different. My son reacted faster and better to ibuprofen, could that work for you?

I'd also start taking temperature of the kid consistently when they call you to pick up.

If you worked an hour or two away they'd have to wait for you to reach her....so maybe try being a bit slow to pick up.

modgepodge · 12/01/2026 21:12

That is ridiculous. I’d be looking for a different nursery or as you say childminder. Even during peak Covid my daughter (childminder) wasn’t sent home that regularly and that was when a temp or cough meant going home and self isolating until you got a negative result.

One of my friend’s husbands has been known to turn up when called with his own thermometer and take the child’s temperature, observe her playing fine, and tell them he’s not taking her and leaving. They call a lot less frequently since he did that a couple of times!

somanychristmaslights · 12/01/2026 21:12

Does she actually have a temperature, or is the nursery pulling a fast one? 26 times in less than 3 months is ridiculous!!

Notdanishsusan · 12/01/2026 21:13

Gosh that does seem a lot. My kids went to different nurseries, but the same group and I was called 1-2 times each in the three years that they were there.

can you take a thermometer with you / use theirs and take the temp upon pickup and then say you’ll leave her? I realise you still need to leave work but it might make them less quick to call in future.

Clefable · 12/01/2026 21:13

Does she ever have these temperatures at home? When she has these temperatures at nursery, do you take her temperature immediately? Take a thermometer with you.

A few things come to mind:

Their thermometer is miscalibrated in combination with perhaps having a child who runs slightly ‘hot’ anyway

They have ratio issues and need to offload kids and have found a solution in you as a newer start.

Either way, 26 times in three months is insane. Why are they taking her temperature so often? Is she appearing unwell in their care?

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 12/01/2026 21:14

I'm going to be real
Several of my friends had this issue... what if often happening is If staff dont come in they dont have the ratios and some child has to go home to get the room ratio.

They know someone can come for your kid....

I would either have a stern word, or just go straight to looking at finding a CM ( i find them waaaaay more flexible ours drops the kids home some evenings!!!) Or a different nursery.

26 times is INSANE. My kids have been picked up twice since September and off for 2 or 3 days.

Hegharty · 12/01/2026 21:15

With our nursery, they have to be picked up if they’re given calpol, and they can’t return for 48 hours after a fever.

Too many times DS has had a fever at the end of the day, but fine once it’s come down with calpol but he’s not allowed back for two days.

Every nursery has their own policy and some are a lot stricter than others.

TwillTrousers · 12/01/2026 21:17

i suspected my nursery was doing this (not to this extent) to save on staff. Unfortunately for them I travelled to work by train, they once rang and I’d just missed one so took well over an hour to get there (and she was fine). I remember the manager was pissy but she stopped picking on me as I took too long I think.
Id move them. It’s one of the big downsides of nurseries that they will do anything to save on staffing.

schopenhauer · 12/01/2026 21:18

I’ve had three kids through nurseries and been called to collect them less than 10 times in total I’d say. They are getting rid of her due to lack of staff or laziness. Definitely go elsewhere!

The1990club · 12/01/2026 21:18

When you pick her up,take her temperature. Bring a thermometer with you. Dont pick her up straight away. Challenge the nursery. This nursery is a joke! My daughter was always being sent home as she was a sickly child but even then it not 26 times in 3 months!

You need to find alternative childcare. I would do this too.

2026willbebetter · 12/01/2026 21:19

Most nurseries would say you have to collect as soon as they get a temp of 38c and they have to stay at home for 48 hours.

Is her temp actually getting to 38c? 26 seperature fevers in 3 months is very worrying or is this within the same illness?

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 12/01/2026 21:21

Definitely look for another setting, childminder or nursery. In four years we only got called about five times and each time she had a genuine temp or was vomiting.

in fact there were days I collected her and could see she wasn’t well but they hadn’t noticed - make of that what you will, but at least it didn’t affect work (becuse I had to take a lot of time off for when she was genuinely ill and I had to keep her home)

In the meantime have you asked for video proof of a fever on the monitor before you collect? 26 times is ludicrous and I’d want real evidence

VikaOlson · 12/01/2026 21:23

Ask them not to give her calpol.

When they call, go to the nursery with your own thermometer and take her temperature.

If it's over 38 she has a fever, take her home.
If it's under 38 she's fine to stay.

The calpol is just confusing the issue, it doesn't make her 'better' just hides the fever.
She either has a fever or not.

Butterflyarms · 12/01/2026 21:24

Why are they taking her temperature so often? Is she overheating? Is the nursery too warm? It's bizarre. I moved my child from a nursery where the staff were constantly on the phone to me for no serious reason. I kept getting pulled out of meetings for a courtesy call that my child was unsettled. Just no. Find a better nursery and save yourself the stress of dealing with an unsupportive childcare setting.

QuietLifeNoDrama · 12/01/2026 21:27

Sounds like you need to change nursery. We looked at one that had a really strict sickness policy and it put me right off. I took her to the one where the kids were still allowed in with snotty noses.

CheeseWisely · 12/01/2026 21:28

Christ alive, 26 times in 3 months??? DS has been in Nursey coming up a year and they’ve called us once to pick him up, and 2 or 3 times to let us know he was under the weather / unsettled but they weren’t sending him home. One of those times I went to get him anyway as I was off. I’d be looking for another nursery with a less rigid policy.

JLou08 · 12/01/2026 21:30

26 fevers in a few months is really extreme, you need to take her to the GP. Although I suspect they could be lying to lower their numbers, especially if they haven't already suggested a GP appointment.
At my DCs nursery they are sent home straight away with a fever and asked not to come in with a fever as it is a sign of infection.

AlwaysUp · 12/01/2026 21:31

As you can tell, this nursery tactic is not something rare. Happened to me too. I showed up with my thermometer and even asked them to use theirs in front of me. I was at home working so I showed up straight away and requested no medicine is given and pretended I’d give it to her at home. She had no temperature using their own one and mine. Just tell them straight to their face what you think is happening and you would like a refund for all those days that you were wrongly asked to collect. Talk to the head. They might not even be aware of staff doing this

OneBlueDreamer · 12/01/2026 21:36

Definitely find another nursery.

When my older kids were little I used to get called to pick them up as they didn't 'seem themself'. My son also had reflux and I would get called to collect him as he had vomited (during or straight after a bottle!)

Scottishskifun · 12/01/2026 21:38

It's difficult to tell if it's nursery the frequency would be an indicator that it's them. I would ask them about calibration of thermometers and ask for a photo of the fever. If you know she's teething then I would probably give some ibuprofen before she goes. It will relieve the teething and generally lasts longer for fever aspects then calpol.

DS1 has a over active immune response though he could spike a fever if someone sneezed in his direction. He spent 12 days with a fever - he's generally OK in himself til it hits 39.5 and above.

After many Dr's visits they told us only give him calpol or ibuprofen if he seems unwell and its just his body.

Thankfully we had a good nursery who was understanding about it all!

Printed1 · 12/01/2026 21:40

Are you sending back in the next day if she had a temp then it comes up again?

very rarely have mine developed a temp at school or nursery. Normally a child looks ill first. So is she looking flushed.
i wouldn’t be happy with her having paracetamol that much in a few months if no proper illness.
Perhaps their thermometer is faulty or battery going
Anyway most school or nursery kids anrent allowed in with a temp and arent given calpol at nursery for that.
As they are contagious.

Temps do rise towards evening.
is she perhaps waking from being tucked in a nap?

Boopeedoop · 12/01/2026 21:41

My daughter's nursery tried this. Reminded them we work in healthcare, have pediatric first aid training to a higher level than them and checked their temperature ten minutes after leaving nursery (when she supposedly had a temp of 38.8) at home it was 36.4. Asked them if they have their thermometers calibrated annually, blah blah blah. Hasn't happened since. What a coincidence.

BakeOffRewatch · 12/01/2026 21:42

I’d be concerned they’re always giving your kid calpol, based on their questionable process. Don’t ask them to switch to ibuprofen, as it is harmful to stomachs and shouldn’t be given regularly. Ibuprofen severely complicates chicken pox too, there’s usually a high fever before the pox starts to appear.

fashionqueen0123 · 12/01/2026 21:48

Take your own thermometer and check it when you go to collect. No child has a temp that often unless seriously ill and it sounds like your baby is fine. Their thermometer is broken or they are lying. Why are they taking it so much?! If she’s fine once you leave what signs was she showing?

Petilla · 12/01/2026 21:49

Same question as to why they are taking her temperature so regularly?
They sound like a bunch of jokers taking the piss.
Ask if they contact other parents that freely and say you’re concerned your DD may have a serious medical problem so are going to seek medical advice, because surely they must agree this is not normal.
Agree with PPs saying go armed with a thermometer next time, or indeed just go straight down the avenue of getting a childminder instead.