Suspicious behaviour by a nursery key worker

[Claymentine]

Hi everyone
I am posting here for the first time here, as I really need some advice. I put my son 3 years old in a nursery, he had two settle sessions. He is a calm happy boy and settled in well. I was happy until the second settle session when I went to collect him . And the key worker was not aware I was there. So they had served lunch to other kid but because my son starts the next week and is not included inblunch time yet she had made him sit on the floor by the wall alone. Mind you it's a small setup with 8 kids per key worker. So the 7 kids were sitting having lunch while my kid sat infront of them watching them . When I enquired the key worker if she could have offered him any activity in the mean time or take him to another room , all she said was i can't leave the other kids. I talked to the manager afterwards but I have a bd feeling about the key worker as both the days I didn't see her interact with the kids as much unlike her colleagues. Also while other kids had their backpacks hanged up on pegs outside of the classroom my sons backpack was lying on the floor in the middle of the classroom???! I need advice on whether I shd give this nursery a chance or change it even though its only been 2 settle sessions. DH says to look for another nursery .
Thanks.

Sorry but this post is hysterical.

If you’re late for your child at a settling in, although it is unfair on the nursery worker tending to a lunch with 7 children it is most unfair on your child.

And you are entitled, to expect him to have been taken to another room to do activities when you are late.

I also reckon for lunch to have been served and the children in the middle of eating, you were more than a couple of minutes late.

Thanks but even so, surely they could have found a snack at least for him to join in? X

They won’t have a snack to give him. They can’t unless they’ve been through allergies etc.

It was unfair on the staff and your son for you to be late on his first day OP.
I realise sometimes these things but you can’t then moan about the nursery having your son waiting for you with his bag ready over lunchtime.
Did you expect them to delay lunch for the other children just for your late arrival?
Did you contact the nursery to let them know you were going to be late?
To me, it sounds as though the nursery put safety first (staying with the children who were eating) which is correct in my mind.

The child wasn't supposed to be there, the nursery worker legally cannot leave the other children eating at the table, and they didn't know when the mum would show up.

No, she couldn't just go and find a snack!

Poor kid being picked up late on his first day and having to wait while everyone else had lunch - unfortunately it's 100% down to the parents not the nursery worker who was just doing her job though.

A nursery is a business. Its not grandma looking after him.

Op was late. He was sat there, safe waiting. That is exactly what needed amd shpuldve happened.

As a long time senior early years and education practioner, I would be concerned about a 3YO in a settling in session simpy being told to sit against a wall with nothing to do while waiting for parents. Early years workers are expected to focus on children who are eating to ensure that they spot a chocker quickly so she wouldn't have been able to play with him. However, it takes a few seconds to find a couple of books or a box of toys for him to explore before starting to feed the others. Not OK.

Presumably when they sat him down, they didn't know mum wasn't going to be there. If she'd told them she was picking up late then they could have got him something to play with before starting lunch.

Nursery have already flagged you as one of those parents…

late to collect on the first day
complaining that nothing was in place for your child at a point when he actually wasn’t meant to be there.

you’re going to need to work hard to pull this one back

It's still not OK.

I would expect better from anyone in my team.

I wouldn't call it suspicious and I would probably give a similar explanation to that provided by the manager when asked about it by the parent. I would also have a word with the worker and let them know that no child should be sitting with nothing to do while waiting for parents, whether they are late or not. It is never the child's fault.

I think it's a problem with the nursery setup not the keyworker who obviously can't leave the other children alone while they are eating.it isn't safe

He was probably only sat there for a few moments. OP says she was only a few minutes late. I'm sure activities or food would have been found had she been much longer.

There is nothing wrong at all with a child waiting patiently for a few moments.
It's actually an important skill to develop.

He won’t learn anything in a few hours a week.

I’m sorry OP but this was down to you/your partner being late for pick up, especially as it was a settling in session. Blimey, I was counting down the minutes until I could pick mine up when they started at nursery!
You haven’t got a good first impression of the nursery but I imagine they haven’t got a good first impression of you being late for your little one!

I was going to write a different response (that it was badly planned/handled by the nursery to have your child there for a session over lunchtime yet exclude him from lunch) but after reading you were late to pick up, that puts a totally different complexion on the matter.

You just can't be late for nursery. It's unacceptable to the nursery and unfair on your child and unfair on the staff. Why were you late? Did you think "it doesn't really matter because they are still open anyway"? That is a real bete noire for nursery staff - their timetable and ratios get totally messed up and you're effectively "stealing" a service that hasn't been paid for which is also a slap in the face for other paying parents. I did 8 collective years of nursery for my kids and was late 3 times in 8 years, twice because of a major traffic incident (on those days almost all parents were late) and once because someone else was supposed to be picking up and forgot (I was mortified).

If you were only a few mins late and were expected imminently it would have made no sense to serve him a lunch. Plus lunches at nursery are often an additional fee which hadnt been paid. Also if they weren't expecting him for lunch they may not have done allergy/intolerance/religious requirements checks yet. Of course she couldn't leave the lunchtime kids (or your son) alone. And his bag had probably been taken down in readiness for collection.

As an aside I think if the aim of nursery is to get your son used to the environment, one day isn't enough, it really ought to be at least 2 consecutive days a week or they just forget and it's like starting all over again. We tried this with my youngest, sending her half a day a week towards the end of my mat leave but might as well not have bothered. Once she went more regularly she loved it.

Maybe.

Still not good enough.

Not as a 3YO in a settling in session.

This

But the op was late?

The settling in session wasn’t arranged over a meal time, OP was meant to pick up before lunch but was late

Why on earth not? Why can't a 3 year old sit and wait for his mum for a very short while?

Goodness me, children can wait for a couple of minutes! They shouldn't be constantly entertained.

Well thankfully I've never worked in a nursery if these are rigid rules when looking after children! Surely the priority of staff here should be to welcome the child by making him feel included?!

The rigid rules around eating are to prevent any future child deaths by choking - the priority of the staff has to be safety.