Suspicious behaviour by a nursery key worker

[Claymentine]

Hi everyone
I am posting here for the first time here, as I really need some advice. I put my son 3 years old in a nursery, he had two settle sessions. He is a calm happy boy and settled in well. I was happy until the second settle session when I went to collect him . And the key worker was not aware I was there. So they had served lunch to other kid but because my son starts the next week and is not included inblunch time yet she had made him sit on the floor by the wall alone. Mind you it's a small setup with 8 kids per key worker. So the 7 kids were sitting having lunch while my kid sat infront of them watching them . When I enquired the key worker if she could have offered him any activity in the mean time or take him to another room , all she said was i can't leave the other kids. I talked to the manager afterwards but I have a bd feeling about the key worker as both the days I didn't see her interact with the kids as much unlike her colleagues. Also while other kids had their backpacks hanged up on pegs outside of the classroom my sons backpack was lying on the floor in the middle of the classroom???! I need advice on whether I shd give this nursery a chance or change it even though its only been 2 settle sessions. DH says to look for another nursery .
Thanks.

What I mean is, she's literally not allowed to leave the table if children have food. She cant get him a book or an activity and it won't have been pre organised because you were supposed to have collected.

I can't believe an anxious parent who is kept awake at 4am by the thought of her preschooler sitting on a carpet for a few minutes would actually allow themselves to be late collecting for one of the child's first ever sessions.

Maybe reassess your own actions before calling his key worker suspicious!

My guess is that the time you were meant to pick your son up was the time everyone sits down to lunch, so his key worker told him to get his bag and coat when she told the others to wash their hands for lunch. When you didn't arrive on time, your kid already had his stuff and the kids had all tidied from the morning session so there wasn't really anything else for your kid to do to wait for you.

I agree with a previous poster that one day a week for a couple of hours seems like a disaster waiting to happen, many nurseries don't allow children to do only one day as it's so hard for them to settle so I would definitely consider upping it to at least two days.

With regards to your worries I think you're simply overthinking which is normal given you're probably anxious about him leaving him for the first time. Give it time for him to settle into the routine and if you're going to be late in future it might be best to ring and let them know.

But they can't just serve a child lunch when they were supposed to have left already. They won't have had a meal prepared for him, and they would have had to clean him and get him ready to leave before he finished and whilst the other children were still eating, which isn't really practical.
You put them in a difficult position by being late for his very first session.

Alright you seem to be angry for some reason. But I have understood from all the replies that I need to give grace to the nursery and the key worker and maybe not be too anxious either.

Yes most probably . After I talked to the manager I was given a somewhat similar explanation.

if it’s just one day a week for social skills rather than because you have to work then I would recommend a preschool attached to the primary you would like to send him to.
in my opinion preschools are vastly more beneficial to children than nurseries. And they will likely nurture your child better. I would use all your 15 hours tho and send him for 2.5 days a week so he settles better and is better prepared for school.

This post is hysterical - so you were late to collect your child, on his first settling session, but the NURSERY are the suspicious ones?! Are you mad!

Turn up on time to collect your kid and he won't have to sit waiting for you. Poor staff, juggling your child whilst trying to do lunch time for all the other children because you were too disorganised/disrespectful/disinterested to bother to collect your child on time.

You were late to collect him. She had 7 other children to supervise whilst they were eating. Crazy that you spoke to the manager about it! As if she's going to get activities out for him, that she will then have to clear away just because you weren't on time

Haha not angry. Just sticking up for the nursery worker!

Yes if he was supposed to be there she should have got him a toy or something, but it sounds like you were due any minute and he was just waiting to go home.

You were late. That's pretty unacceptable anyway, but for a settling in session especially? You cant expect the staff to leave the children to get your child a book or toy or faff about with their belongings when they're trying to supervise other children eating when you should have been there and picked your child up already.

The simple answer here is don't be late. If a parent is late the children are usually ready to go and the nursery are just hanging onto the child. The same thing happens in primary schools, the children are usually sat near the office, and that's all. There not given anything yo occupy themselves, because they're not supposed to be there!

I echo what others have said 1 day a week won’t be great, I would up the hours more if you can. It will be like having to settle in every week otherwise.

And don’t be late!

Yeah I’m sorry but this is all on you because you were late to collect him. Who is the “we” here?

1 day a week doesn't usually work I'm afraid. Don't ignore your gut and leave your child in a setting you are uneasy with.

I'm an ex nursery worker & as this sounds like a private nursery, my advice is if you have any bad feelings about whether it's the right nursery don't send your dc, unfortunately not all private nurseries are good ones and although there are fantastic staff there's also some that shouldn't be working with kids, always trust your instincts. Would it be possible to start your dc at a nursery attached to a school as they will then make new friends who will probably move up through school with them.

I think people are being a little bit harsh. Not originally but, op has read the sensible advice and has taken it on board and said they are going to stick with the nursery and ensure they're on time in the future. No need to keep adding to the critical comments. Hope you sleep better now OP.

Go enjoy your weekend and relax.

Just take your anger and negativity somewhere else . This is supposed to be a discussion which is why I asked for advice. I haven't been disrespectful to anyone in person so you better stop assuming .

What did the manager say? That's utterly appalling he wasn't offered a snack with other kids! Isn't the idea of a settling in session for him to experience the reality of a full fdy there. Having to sit on his own and watch other children eat could traumatise him do much he doesn't want to go back. It probably comes down to money. This would be my main concern tbh. It's hard enough leaving your child with others. X

It was lunch and the op was late though. They won’t have catered for him.

I really can’t get my head around being late on a settling in session.

Op was late.
So he was not supposed to be there for food.
Presumably she had not paid for food and they had not had it prepared.

@WellBing if they haven’t yet gone through allergies you can’t just offer food.

He wasn’t meant to be there as OP was late.

She was late to collect. They wouldn't have ordered him a lunch or OP didnt send him with a packed lunch because he wasnt supposed to be there for lunch.