A bit worried about DS’s nursery report

[eitherororor]

DS is four and 3/4, goes to school in September. He’s been attending the same nursery three days a week since he was 10 months.

The report seems a bit flat to be honest. It seems to be a bit worded nicely but hinting at wider issues (phrases like ‘active child’ spring to mind!)

He is developing in all areas. They’ve said things like he can’t recognise letters or numbers and that he mumbles and gets words confused.

I don’t know, it just seems to damn with faint praise a bit. The staff are lovely and when I’ve spoken to them on parents evenings they’ve been quick to assure me there are no concerns at all. I just sort of feel that if I was his reception teacher I’d feel a bit wary of him!

My DS starts reception in Sept and while there are a range of abilities in his group at nursery the comments on your report would very much be at the bottom end.

We were given a pre-school pack with an outline of what is expected and they included counting to 30, writing your own name, fully toilet trained etc. Everyone in my DS nursery year group comfortably achieved this.

That said, 4 is still very young so I wouldn’t worry too much about things at this stage.

I suspect what one of the earlier posters said about 1-1 adult contact for only children counts for a lot. Of the 10 leaving nursery alongside my DS, 8 are from 1 child families and all have both parents present. This means they have all had a lot of 1-1 time and attention with adults.

As a nursery teacher- yes he sounds a bit behind academically, especially for a November-born child with engaged parents and attending good nursery. The letter lessons the nursery has been doing will be phonics and so to leave nursery not knowing any phonic sounds or number is unusual.

It’s probably not anything to worry about, reception normally does a very good job about catching up children who are a bit behind. I would be on the ball in reception however, making sure he is catching up and not staying behind.

I work in a school nursery so we do 'teach' there. All the nursery kids know the first set of phonics sounds by this point in the year. But the day nursery kids who join us for reception usually don't. Kids get streamed for phonics teaching pretty quickly in the first term.

I'd work on him recognising his name over the summer. Not being able to write it, but recognise it on a peg. And also his age. Can he hold up 4 fingers and recognise the numeral 4.

@Eixample they do learn through play. That’s the basis of the EYFS.

He does recognise his name but not any other letters.

It isn’t a school nursery, it’s a private day one, if that makes a difference. He doesn’t recognise the number 4.

I suppose what I mean is learning through play without expectations that they all have to learn certain things at the same age, which is very rigid for that age compared with other countries. Anyway, my point was that you are interpreting neutral comments very negatively; I don’t think posters are criticising you as much as you seem to feel they are.

As others have said you are coming across very snippy. You have said you have concerns about your child but any suggestion of how you might help him you don't seem to want. People could have given more ideas of things to encourage him in different areas. Some could have been useful, others if you didn't like or didn't agree with you could have ignored rather than being ungrateful to those trying to help.
I am going to make one suggestion regarding number recognition which you can take it or leave it. When you are out and about make him aware of numbers all the time in your environment. In the supermarket can he find cashier number 3. Look at numbers on the petrol pump. In a car park can he find number 6 on a car. Look at door numbers, what is his door number. Talk about numbers all the time, when shopping, can he get you 4 apples etc.

I’m not interested in your personal view on me @AnnieMay55 . I don’t wish to come over as anything in particular but it is tedious when people try to turn a thread into an argument with personal remarks. It isn’t snippy to point out DS has been taken to the park once or twice in his four and a half years on this earth

@Eixample i would disagree actually. A neutral comment would be something like ‘I feel sorry for children with the current schooling setup’ which is general, and not ‘poor little fellow’ which is specific. If that wasn’t the intention fair enough but then you’d say so. Anyway … I’m not here for an argument!

Mine is a year younger than yours and is still getting to grips with language never mind anything else. I’d be thrilled with a report like yours next year. Every child develops at different rates and your DS sounds wonderful (and very normal). I think PP’s are trying to tell you to not put yourself under so much pressure and to just enjoy your DS without focussing so much on the academics. I read somewhere that reading to your kids is to foster a love of reading so I try to remember this rather than worrying whether or not he recognises words in the books. Some of the other suggestions are great though (and I’ve noted down some tips for myself)

Thanks, that’s the approach I’ve always taken. I’ve avoided doing phonics because a) it looks a bit dull and I didn’t want to turn books into a negative association and b) I didn’t know which school he’d be going to or their programme.

Phonics isn't really dull though. It can just be part of natural conversation and singing. You don't have to formally teach it at preschool age. As can numbers.

I wouldn't be particularly worried by your report. He does sound lower end but he'll catch up over the reception year. But if you are worried then there are lots of ways you can up his knowledge over the summer and beyond.

What you can do will depend on lots of things.

Can he follow adult led tasks? Can he sustain attention? If not, how long does his attention last? Can he play games involving multiple people? Is he easily frustrated when he doesn't get things right? Can he make marks and trace shapes? Can he colour mostly in the lines? Can he hold a pen?

There are lots of barriers that can be developmental that aren't picked up in nursery, but rather assessed as still developing because their approaches don't meet the needs of all children in all areas.

My son is academically delayed, though he also has a significant speech delay (almost caught up now though age 6), and even though he could understand language perfectly he couldn't practice reading, writing, sitting with age appropriate workbooks, listening to stories, because he couldn't do any of the above so our foundation building skills looked a lot different and we had to tackle his attention, being able to share, being able to follow adult led tasks, not giving up when things don't go right the first time etc...

Once he was in reception he started catching up but they did assess what interventions they could put in place, and there were two big ones, one called jump around for sensory and motor integration, which was fun for him but also worked on the key skills of being able to follow adult led tasks, and then music interaction which focused on taking turns, listening, beats, following a routine etc.

We then found tasks at home to replicate this.

Due to my sons needs he ended up resitting reception because for the first year of reception he was focused on building these skills rather than phonics and maths, but in the second year he was working at the same level as many of them.

Once he could follow adult led tasks we bought additional resources for at home, like the edurino sets which we specifically only bought one character at a time with to focus on main areas of learning and prevent him being able to switch out to ones he found "easier" to avoid having to put in the work.

We also have reading hour, which is before tea time, not before bed, because otherwise he would be too tired to absorb anything.

We do use screen time but we stick to things like yakka dee, numberblocks, miss apple etc.

We also have a toniebox for when we don't want screen time and have run out of words for the day, and there are some fun educational tonies you can get.

So in short you need to find out why your son is finding it hard to catch up before you can help him catch up.

A different perspective - thirty years ago I was teaching in a private school with the youngest class being the kindergarten (age 3-4). They were in school four and a half days a week. Obviously when it came to the September they were very ready for reception, lots of phonics and maths covered, lots of creative activities, PE, used to eating a packed lunch etc.

Every September around 5 extra children would join the reception class (kindergarten had more limited numbers for a better adult/child ratio). And every year a child who had not had the time in Kindergarten would be at the top end of the class by Christmas - because they were ready to begin formal learning. And if a child had less natural ability they were not achieving so highly, however long they had been in a formal educational setting.

With this in mind, I only sent my sons to an old fashioned preschool three mornings a week - craft activities, group story, group singing, free flow play. No phonics or official number work. I did start a little bit of phonics with them both after they started to recognise the sounds from their names in other words. Both passed the eleven plus (Kent) with top scores; great exams and degrees since.

I've never regretted them having less nursery time than many of their peers and more time with me, it hasn't let them down and your son's report sounds very much like the report either of mine would have got!

If he is an active boy, does he get plenty of physical play to burn off that energy, leaving him ready to do more learning activities?

Over the hols can you have days where you run around the park, introduce some concepts (draw letters and numbers in mud or sand with a stick?)

There’s some really good examples online of phonics and number play that aren’t just sitting down with a book. Draw out some big letters and numbers in chalk and he has to jump on the correct one & copy them out with a different colour. Hopscotch. Match foam letters with ones you’ve printed out. Cut some holes in a big bit of cardboard, label them with letters or numbers and he has to pop a ball through the right hole when you shout out the number or letter. Each time he marks the letter down on paper & it will spell a word.

They still should be teaching phonics.

Wow. You’re coming over as aggressive and defensive when people are trying to be helpful. It’s like you’re waiting to pounce. Is this to do with your worries or is this how you are in general? Either way, it doesn’t help.

When I want a critique of my character I’ll ask for one. I’m not really interested in establishing whether you think I’m nice or not. I’m asking about my DS.

In general, unwanted advice can easily come across as patronising, especially when it is really obvious.

One of mine started school able to dress himself including shoe laces, use cutlery etc. teacher thanked me and said so many children starting reading, writing etc which she was going to teach but unable to do things parents should teach, toileting shoe laces etc

His tests put him on bottom level for reading and writing. By the end of the year despite missing a chunk of time due to a hospital stay for surgery he was tested and teacher told me he had the highest score for reading.

Try not to worry, I always try to remember it's a marathon not a sprint and he's got 14 years of school in front of him.

I think you're looking to control things you may not be able to and don't need to - my son is about to turn 2 and has been able to recognise all the letters and numbers for nearly 6 months, talks in a complex sentences and loves puzzles but he was also a late crawler and walker (he is very confident with his gross motor skills now) and is not brilliant at dressing himself / doesn't seem ready for potty training. I doubt there is anything I've done with him that is likely to be different from what you've done - he was just super interested in his alphabet puzzle and liked reading books with me - just like i doubt the reason he crawled a bit later than average wasn't something about what i did with him. He may be able to read at 3 and hate reading at 7 - who knows.... I can only encourage positive things in general and let him be him.

I had an October child who was always behind. Last to read etc. Then she overtook her peers and ended up doing really well. Learning and developing is not always a linear line and not all kids are the same. Could you have a one on one with the nursery and ask specifically what they think the issues are. It could just be that they use that vague vocabulary with all kids.

Kids develop at different paces. One of mine was reading competently, able to do basic maths etc well before starting school, the other at 6 had still not got beyond 3 letter words (turns out she had dyslexia, she was diagnosed just before 7th birthday) same parents, same household situation etc different educational start yet the slow starter got better a levels, did an incredibly difficult degree and is working on a job that provokes wow, super academically hard. Couldn’t read the word cat at 6 years old!

I think he sounds fine.
BTW I think 'writing own name' is quite a poor criterion-It's a lot easier for Ian than Christopher!

Thanks. I’m not necessarily massively hugely concerned - just a general sense that on a median curve he seems to be towards the bottom. Of course, it could well change and I’m conscious of that.

Thanks for answering my earlier questions about what he could do/finds hard.
Im a reception teacher.
Id work on the prime areas of learning if you google that. In particular, building up his ability to persevere with things he doesn’t want to do, keeping focused on an activity for a set amount of time, remembering to use the toilet, speaking clearly etc.

Phonics - I’d get him to do lots of oral segmenting and blending e.g. understanding that s-a-t is sat. Can you find something that begins with ‘s’?
Get him practising with scissors and drawing, colouring or using chalks.

Maths - most of the nursery children from
the school nursery class know numbers 1-5 and a few know 6-10. Try and get him to understand the value of each number. So just focus on 1, find 1 of things and write 1 on a post it snd label it with a 1, can he find 1 on doors, on menus etc?

There’s no particular reason for me to say so since the original ’poor little fellow’ wasn’t from my comment. But I find that commenter’s intentions fairly clear, to someone without a horse in the race.

He does sound like he's starting reception a little below where you'd expect a child of his age, but also sounds like he has probably avoided doing activities he finds boring/difficult eg table work. Not unusual.

It's also not necessarily a worry at this point, as typical development is very wide at this age and he might just need some more time to mature.

If his speech isn't always clear and he struggles with phonics though I would definitely get his hearing checked. Sensible to get a sight test before starting school too.