A bit worried about DS’s nursery report

[eitherororor]

DS is four and 3/4, goes to school in September. He’s been attending the same nursery three days a week since he was 10 months.

The report seems a bit flat to be honest. It seems to be a bit worded nicely but hinting at wider issues (phrases like ‘active child’ spring to mind!)

He is developing in all areas. They’ve said things like he can’t recognise letters or numbers and that he mumbles and gets words confused.

I don’t know, it just seems to damn with faint praise a bit. The staff are lovely and when I’ve spoken to them on parents evenings they’ve been quick to assure me there are no concerns at all. I just sort of feel that if I was his reception teacher I’d feel a bit wary of him!

In my son’s preschool they’ve been doing maths and phonics and learning to write for the past term to prepare the kids for reception. Has the nursery not been teaching them things like that?

We also had a phonics parents meeting a few months ago as well with an introduction to the Read, Write, Inc system they’ll use in Reception. My son is a November 2020 baby as well and I’ve taught him to read using Read, Write, Inc. It’s really good.

If nursery hasn’t done phonics with him and neither have you then of course he will be developing in that area rather than at expected level. Most nurseries do at least a year of phonics, letter and number recognition and writing practice in the preschool year. That doesn’t mean there’s an issue with your DS, just that he hasn’t been taught it. It’s not really a problem, he’ll likely begin to catch up when he starts reception as they’ll do daily phonics practice.

I've worked in early years for many years. He sounds about average for many boys. I would give a couple of suggestions re fine motor skills and expanding focus (since I've studied child development etc) but you don't seem to be taking them very well.

With respect, you sound like the kind of parent we'd dread doing handover with.

It sounds like it’s an accurate reflection as you say. From that I’d expect him to be a little behind some of his peers in some ‘desk based’ (sorry can’t think of a better phrase) activities but with definitely be able to catch up in his own time.
Nothing jumps out as concerning. Just typical of a child who prefers active play to sitting down play.
The toilet accidents are probably also when he’s too busy playing to remember to go.
I wouldn’t worry-they all develop at their own rate.

@Overthebow that’s a tiny part of it. While he hasn’t to my knowledge been taught phonics he has been taught number and letter recognition, not necessarily formally but he has been taught it. Mind you he only attends two days a week so maybe he’ll catch up easily enough at school.

@RoseRedorDead it isn’t that I’m not taking them well, it’s just as someone who has been reading extensively since birth with their child it is a tiny bit annoying to have people triumphantly blast ‘read to him!’ as if it’s a novel idea. I’ve got lots of good ideas already though, thank you. And - why on earth do I sound like the sort of parent you dread doing handover with Comments like that are just rude and personal; they don’t add anything to the thread. I think my only comment at handover 90% at the time is ‘thanks so much!’

Thanks @Glittercar - yes, that does sound like DS!

It says he’s got fabulous gross motor skills so he is good at that and will probably be sporty.
He’s got good listening skills(key for phonics), can hold a conversation likes playing with friends. That’s a great base for starting school.

it’s handy for them to be able to write their names so I’d have a light touch go at that over the summer but no worries if he’s not up for it-he’ll soon get it when he starts reception.

Thanks - his new reception teacher is amazing so I’m sure he’ll be a very different child this time next year Mind you, he already is from a year ago and certainly the year before that!

@eitherorororI suspect it looks from the report like there are quite a few things he can't do just because the range of what is considered normal is pretty broad at this age. My daughter is due to start school in September too and there were some areas she was stronger in than others. She's good at numbers in particular, but struggles with some of the more social aspects. There will be a handful of children starting reception who can do everything that is measured (and more), but most will have a patchy profile with strengths and weaknesses. I would try not to worry and just support him with whatever is needed once he has started reception.

Thanks @Winglessvulture . I’m sure he’ll be absolutely fine; it is that worry I suppose we all have from time to time as parents, have I done enough, is he ready, will he be OK?

I can't make the link work, but you can use the EYFS tracker. Development is variable at this age. Generally they would expect him to e.g. have some recognition of numbers, however children vary in their interests and tend to develop more in those. A strength of the Early Years curriculum is the child can choose what to do most of the time, but then they often choose the things they like and don't get the breadth. My DS was constantly told not to spend all morning playing with the marble run and go to places e.g. the making table. (He also still needs reminding to wipe his own face!)

Objectively your DS does appear to be 'working towards' in some areas, but this isn't fixed. Children can quickly jump e.g. suddenly start recognising all their letters. Reception tend to start from the beginning with phonics and numbers. I think our school did a number each week starting from 1. If he has the foundation skills in place i.e. able to sit and listen, then he is ready to learn.

@BendingSpoons yes, he does focus on what he wants to do which is good but has its drawbacks!

Really normal for a wide range of development at this age. Also my kids tended to have huge developmental leaps over the summer holidays when they were less tired / busy and just everything would have a chance to sort itself out in their brains. Kids change quickly at this age and the primary teacher will want to make their own observations of your child in their setting.

My dd wrote backwards mirror writing which was huge for ages. I thought she was so far behind but I kept some of her work each year and could see the huge progress she was making. Now she has lovely neat cursive.

Poor little fellow! So much pressure already. Things have changed a lot since my DC were that age (20 years ago).

I’m a preschoool practitioner - children will all be at different stages of development when they leave to go to school. Don’t worry about things like phonics or mathematics, they will be taught this in reception. It’s a common mistake for parents to believe that they need to know it all before they get there.
The report will just be highlighting anything that the teachers may need to know about your child and so some negative sounding things will be included. These things are not necessarily of concern but if you are worried you could speak to the nursery about it.
I would agree that the most important things for school readiness are those self care skills - being able to put on their shoes etc, being able to follow instructions, being able to sit and listen for a short time. They don’t need to know all their letters and numbers.

Your children didn’t go to nursery and the nursery didn’t do a report for their reception teachers then?

I don’t know why that makes him a ‘poor little fellow.’ But er, OK

DS had a similar report at the end of nursery and I had concerns about him starting school too. He’s just finishing Year 1 now and is at the top of his class academically and I’m off to the school this morning to see him get a prize in assembly. School was the absolute making of him and he blossomed there. I think, in retrospect, the nursery environment didn’t suit him.

You ARE quite snippy!

Hi OP. My son is also 4 and due to start reception in September. He will be 5 in May.

I don’t think the report is particularly concerning! Sounds like he’s doing most things, and is in a good place to learn - I’d be delighted if mine could do good listening!

He is able to read simple books, do basic maths and write his name plus letters and numbers. Can do the independent stuff. I don’t really know what the other kids can do, but I think it’s fine as long as they are relatively cooperative and can do some basic self care.

ETA: the reading only just clicked a few months ago. He went from not getting it to making a huge leap forward, so this may well be the case for your boy too once school starts!

Thanks @mynameiscalypso . This is what I hope. I don’t need a genius but I also want him to do well for his own sense of self worth really.

I don’t think personal comments are adding anything, whether they are directly about me or professing pity for DS or the nursery staff! It IS annoying when you have a child who is loved and cherished, supported and respected, sent to a lovely and highly regarded nursery who is condescendingly referred to as a ‘poor little fellow’ because his mother asked some questions about his report!

@Runesonprunes see mine is a long way from being able to read any books; I do read to him but he can’t read himself at all. I guess it shows there’s a big variation. I do know children who can read a bit.

But mine was the same until really quite recently. My niece, who is the only other four year old I know well, is three weeks younger and was way ahead in language type stuff whilst he was mainly building towers or racing cars. He seemed to go from nothing with reading to suddenly “clicking” if that makes sense? Rather than making obvious gradual progress. Like you, we have always read with him, but he did the phonics and blending stuff at nursery. Maybe your son will just be more like mine and suddenly “get it” in reception.

I’m sure he will; thank you

I think she’s talking about the UK education system in general, to be honest. It does seem awful looking at it from outside. Four and five year olds should be learning through play, not already doing phonics in nursery and potentially being behind before they’ve actually begun.
(Sorry, this doesn’t help your issue at all. But I wouldn’t worry about the report at all, he’ll change so much between now and 6. Some people are also better at writing insightful reports than others.)

Letter recognition is part of phonics though. When he’s doing phonics lessons everyday at school, plus letter and number activities during the day he’ll pick it up a lot faster. He has the advantage of being one of the older children in the class too. My dd started reception last September one of the youngest in the class, she could recognize a few letters but that was it and couldn’t even recognize her name. She’s just finishing reception now, she’s caught up with her peers and has been marked as expected level in all aspects in her report. They do a really good job of catching up the ones who are a little behind when they start.