A bit worried about DS’s nursery report

[eitherororor]

DS is four and 3/4, goes to school in September. He’s been attending the same nursery three days a week since he was 10 months.

The report seems a bit flat to be honest. It seems to be a bit worded nicely but hinting at wider issues (phrases like ‘active child’ spring to mind!)

He is developing in all areas. They’ve said things like he can’t recognise letters or numbers and that he mumbles and gets words confused.

I don’t know, it just seems to damn with faint praise a bit. The staff are lovely and when I’ve spoken to them on parents evenings they’ve been quick to assure me there are no concerns at all. I just sort of feel that if I was his reception teacher I’d feel a bit wary of him!

Trust me, his nursery teacher won’t read it!

That’s kind of good to know! It’s reception he starts in September though, sorry.

They will do baseline tests at beginning of Reception. Bear in mind the EYFS includes Reception so development is
assessed across several years.

Thanks. I guess I just feel like he’s behind already, which is concerning. I’ve asked a few times what I should do to prepare him for school and all the time the answers have been relating to zips and buttons rather than numbers and letters. Now I’m left feeling like I haven’t done enough.

Singing with him, playing simple board games (orchard house do plenty of age appropriate ones) baking, going to parks, taking coat and shoes on and off, going to toilet. This is what he needs to do.

I’m sure you didn’t mean to @Purpleisnotmycolour but you’re being a bit condescending. I’m asking about his nursery report, not about what I ‘need to do.’

I’m sure I could do more. But I’m wondering if it’s normal for his age or concerning. It doesn’t read brilliantly but I don’t have a basis for comparison.

@Purpleisnotmycolour is making very sensible suggestions. You don’t need to be snippy. Your DC is only 4. Obviously he’s not a prodigy like Mozart or John Stuart Mill. He’s just a normal child.

Children develop differently so it’s as normal for children of your son’s age to be unable to recognise letters and numbers as it is for them to be blending three letter words.

The nursery report will be factually correct. It is not there to give you a warm fuzzy feeling about your child, it is just a brief reflection of where his development is at.

The reception teacher will do a baseline assessment and get to know your child by spending time with him. Then she will do what she can to promote your child’s development from where it’s at. The nursery report will have very little influence on anything.

The nursery are right that skills that involve zips and buttons, or basic independence skills, are what is most important in preparing your child for school. Things like being able to dress with minimal help, mange your own food, drink and belongings and cooperate with others are what will make your child be ready to learn to read, write and do maths when it is taught in reception.

I’ve asked a few times what I should do to prepare him for school

You asked and @Purpleisnotmycolour replied. From this interaction I'm sure the problem isn't with your son. Chill, don't take things so personally, the school system is a long one.

I don’t know the exact answer to your queries but for what it’s worth, one of my daughters little friend’s at nurssrey who is basically the same age as her (3.5) can draw letters and numbers and count to 100. My DD can’t do any of those things and while she can count to 10 half the time she acts as if she can’t “1,2,3, 7,11,5!!” I don’t really think it matters too much though. My friend who is a primary teacher (in Scotland so a bit different maybe) said really they want kids to be able to go to the toilet by themselves, sort their own jackets/shoes etc, sit still and listen, take turns, be able to hold a pen and be able to draw (but not write exactly) their name.

Definitely work on the zips, buttons etc. They need to be capable of dressing themselves at school. Plus capable with a knife and fork.
School will teach letters and numbers- it’s the physical and social skills that are most important at pre-school (and I would argue social skills are the most important of the two).
School will teach letters and numbers.
My oldest 2 are off to uni soon, neither were very interested in letters or numbers at preschool but they soon learnt them in Reception. They were able to share, take turns (which to be fair twins often are), be kind to others, sit and listen to stories, dress, wipe themselves, use cutlery and that stood them in very good stead to be able to progress academically as they could settle comfortably in the busier, school environment where adult ratios are much lower.

Thanks @CopperWhite . It isn’t the warm fuzzy feeling I’m about, more to know if he’s behind or whatever.

He’s fine with zips etc. I’m not really asking about that - this isn’t meant ‘snippily’ but ultimately I’ve posted a thread looking for advice, if the advice is unhelpful then I can say so. I don’t really want a page of ‘have you thought about going to the park!’

He’s 4. He’s got loads of time!

Read to him, get him involved in daily activities where counting and reading are integral.

When is his birthday? Being the youngest in the year can make a difference at this age. Also one of mine went to a Montessori type nursery where they didn’t do any phonics. They soon caught up though when they started reception.

@ParmaVioletTea thanks … at the risk of being called snippy again, I do. I won’t pretend to be a brain surgeon or a city banker but I am educated and I do know that reading to children is a positive developmental activity!

He is a November birthday @SilverHammer . I don’t think they’ve done phonics at nursery that I know. I think what worries me is a general sense of being a bit behind that permeates throughout the report; it does seem to mention what he doesn’t do quite a bit.

As an older child I’d expect he’d count accurately to 10 and beyond, he can recognise some numbers and letters. What are his drawings like? Could he draw a basic picture of a person? At nearly 5 I’d expect he’d be talking in full sentences and able to hold a conversation, asking and answering questions. If he can’t do these things no need to worry, his teacher will support him in Reception.

DS is a November baby and was in nursery from 13 months, before he could go to school he could write his name, knew numbers to 20, colours and some basic shapes, recognise all of the letters in the alphabet (not that that helps with phonics), he was also talking in full sentences and asking a LOT of questions and had been for some time. I was quite surprised that wasn't the case for all of his classmates in reception, but maybe that's because he's an only so lots of adult company and I've never been one to simplify language for children. He was and continues to be described as an active or lively child because he is.

We did things at home around those areas as well as at nursery. He's now ending year 1 so this was relatively recently. You don't seem to want advice so I won't give any, but you asked where your child is in comparison to others. As an older child in the year I would expect some of the above prior to reception and if nursery are saying he is working towards, he is working towards.

Don't worry about his report at this stage.

He is only just in nursery at the moment and a lot will change over the years where teachers can be more specific about his progress.

The rest of class will have very similar reports because most children are going through similar progress patterns. There's only so many ways they can word the same thing differently.

'Active child' on a report is nothing to worry about.

He can count to seventeen (rather random.)

He doesn’t appear to recognise numbers. We have a number of books which show numbers and I’m not sure it’s really gone in.

He does talk in full sentences and you can have a conversation with him.

In the report, speaking and language is a developing skill - it says he can speak in full sentences and has a wide range of vocabulary but that he mixes his words up and mumbles sometimes (he does!)

It says he needs reminding to complete personal care tasks and needs reminders to wipe his face and wash his hands but can do this once reminded. Again a developing skill.

Physical development is also developing but they say he has fabulous gross motor skills. They say he needs encouragement to use eg tweezers and so on.

For literacy they note he can’t write his name but can recognise it. Numeracy it’s noted he can’t recognise numbers by sight. He does know shapes, though.

They note he isn’t really interested in creative activities but he enjoys role play, especially with friends.

They do say he has good listening skills and that he is a ‘relaxed’ child at nursery - hope that’s positive. They also note he sometimes has a soiled accident which is true and we are working on it.

So there is some positive stuff there and I am not for a moment saying it isn’t accurate, I’m just wondering if it’s a fairly typical four year old report.

Thanks

Tbh you seem to be looking for problems - staff have specifically told you there are no concerns?

I would suggest taking it easy, read to your child lots, do lots of counting in day to day life, apart from the suggestions above.

It sounds absolutely fine. We were told children need to recognise their names but don’t need to be able to write.

I’m not, honestly! I think the problem is I’ve always had a niggly worry with DS and I know that’s my own issue and I think I’ve got it firmly under control but then something starts it off again and I need it quashing. So do feel free to nicely say ‘stop being bonkers, you stupid woman!’

Nursery shoild have been teaching phonics. In our area yes he would be considered to be behind if he doesn’t know phonics, most kids are blending simple words. In other areas it will differ.

I thought that was reception. In many ways that doesn’t worry me; I can quite see it is confusing to have two different approaches. It’s hard to say what worries me, it’s a general sense of not really being very good at anything perhaps!