How do I get used to the idea of nursery?

[Palm2017]

My baby will be starting nursery just before he turns one when I go back to work and I’ve got so much anxiety about it! I’ve visited the nursery and it seems perfectly lovely and friends send their children there too, but the idea of leaving him with strangers for a whole day just feels very weird to me. I know this is a perfectly normal process for millions of working parents, but the thought of it makes me want to cry! Basically I just know that no one loves your child as much as you do..

Any advice on how to get past this?

I didnt get past it but found an amazing childminder

Children can still go to nursery and have a secure attachment to their parents. Of course they can.

I didn't need to go back to work. I wanted to maintain and progress my career. There is no way you can do that in my field with more than a year out. And no issues with attachment!

If you are thinking that all couples need to live frugally for several years, then what you are really saying is that the woman should be the one to step back because unequal pay typically means the man is earning more. And of course in doing so you perpetuate the pay gap. So what do you tell your daughters? Don't bother with a career because you'll only get paid less and have to step back anyway? Bugger that!

This is such a controversial, emotive subject and not really something that can probably sorted on mumsnet - particularly as most of what’s said is always anecdotal.

I think everyone needs to share the responsibility of raising young children, not just mums, but dads, employers and the government. All the parenting wars online just polarise parents even more, and I think employers and the government need more focus. In Germany your job is held for you for 3 years. In other European countries your tax free amount can be given to your partner if you are at home raising your children. Things like this would help allow more parents have the feeling of making an actual choice.

Be wary of any advice, a lot of people, particularly on here are convincing themselves they made the right decision (including me!).

The first few years of a child’s life are extremely important, and also extremely hard work. I think the key, like anything in life is balance - if you can find a way to find it.

Caring for young children, or anyone for that matter is such a valuable job. I do think there needs to be more recognition in society for people who look after children (mums, dads and caregivers).

If you’ve chosen the right nursery for
your child then your child will settle and love it. It may take a few weeks or months and definitely don’t judge how much your little one will settle in after the settling in sessions!

my 2 year old has gone since she was 1 - she adores it, goes running in everytime. She’s a confident, kind, developed and lovely lovely child and our bond is very strong.

if I could give up work tomorrow I would still want to send her to the nursery and she would still want to go