Formal complaint or not??

[Hyperquiet]

So one year old had only been at nursery a month and was bitten really hard on the face by another child.

It has been a month and the mark is big and obvious so I am concerned about it fading and also find it upsetting to look at.

At the time I signed the accident form without reading it properly. I was expecting the mark to go within a week or 2 as I hadn't dealt with this sort of thing before (even though it was really bad at the time).

I was told the bite was intercepted within a few seconds but given the severity am I right to doubt this?

An additional concern i have is the child has bitten before and so is a known biter and it wasn't prevented.

I have raised my concerns about the bite with staff in the room and with a manager over email but the email conversation was a more general email and included that topic so we didnt delve into it much.

Perspective, similar experiences and advice is appreciated.

Thank you - appreciate seeing the other side too

Did the bite draw blood? Hell of a bite to leave a mark several weeks later. My twins would often bite each other and one sank their teeth into my leg through my jeans and drew blood and I still have the scar over a year later - it was a matter of seconds like others say

Even knowing the child has bitten before does not mean the nursery can prevent it. The baby could be stood right next to a staff member and still bite - it happens very suddenly.
I have been on both sides with my kids - both biter and bitee; you feel terrible in both situations.

They said it didnt but I saw a tiny dot of blood on pick up so it could have been very little. The broken skin was minimal too. It was the actual pressure and strength of the bite which was intense!!

I am concerned about the scar and it is right on his face too.

Thanks

My DS was bitten more than once by the same child, although this was in preschool not babies. I also worked in the nursery and I got it. Even if a child has 1:1,(very unlikely) they can be like lightening when they decide to bite.
The staff will have intervened within seconds, they aren't going to ignore it, especially in a baby room which has a lower staff ratio.
I know it's horrible but don't make a formal complaint. There isn't much else they can do. They will try and watch the biter as much as possible but each staff member is responsible for 3 children, they can't just watch one
In regards to the bite, the first one faded quickly, the second one did last about three months. I'm sure your child's will either disappear or fade so less noticeable.
Also remember there's always a chance that in a few weeks/months it could be your child who is the bitter.

i disagree with your use of the term ‘biter’- they’re kids not dogs! You can’t stop young children poking and messing about. Even with supervision. If you don’t trust the nursery that’s another issue. I dont know what they could possibly do at this point?

This happeend to my child but they cant be everywhere it is not possible and my child forgot about it after about 2 seconds so not sure what else I would have expected them to do

My friend’s child bit dd when we knew he bit and we were all sitting on the floor in touching distance of each other. Dd was actually on my lap. It was incredible how fast it was-I have never seen anything like it. I’ve heard other people
say the same. It’s horrible, but it happens. And actually, I think worse for the parent of the child who bites than the parent of the bitten one.

Little shit?

Also, I don’t see why people are saying that the severity of the bite makes complaining more
reasonable. It’s pretty difficult to prevent a bite-impossible to control how hard the bite is!

As others have said, it is common for there to be children that bite. It's more often than not a phase that a number of children go through, particularly when they are unable to communicate with words.

I would not complain as such but you would be more than entitled to ask for a meeting and let them explain to you how they manage this biter and keep other children safe. They should have a behaviour policy that covers this sort of incident.

My dd had similar at that age, huge bite to her cheek of all places. Looking back on photos it must have stayed there 4 months, I thought it would never fade. You wouldn't know now, it did go on the end.

Thanks it's horrible. I really hope it fades! Honestly I wouldn't be so bothered if the mark had disappeared after a week or 2.

My not yet 2 year old has come home today with 2 huge bite marks on his arm from a known biter!.
I am fuming because I think once..yes that can happen, I'm not happy but I understand that it happens
But twice?
The bites are massive & only 1 was noticed by the staff & reported to me.
So my concerns are with the fact that my child would have been hurt, distraught and then allowed to have been hurt again. With no staff intervention.

My ds was already struggling with going into nursery, this is just going to set him back

I am shocked that they didnt even notice the second time it happened and that's in the baby room! I am sorry this happened to you. I feel annoyed because the mark is on his face and I see it all the time for probably months at least. How are you going to deal with it (if at all)?

Presumably your child wasn't crying or distressed though. I doubt the staff ignore crying children.
Biting is so fast. It can happen in less than a second and the staff can't shadow children. They ate on a 1:3 ratio. Not 1:1.
I do understand. My DS was bitten by a known bitte a few times. It is very upsetting but I appreciate the staff have other children to look after too.
You can have a meeting with the manager but unless you are willing to pay for an extra staff member (so the bitter has 1:1) there's not a lot they can do

I’m so sorry OP and anyone else whose child has been injured like this at nursery. Understood that the staff may be unable to prevent biting , but it raises the question of whether theres an affordable alternative to nursery where such things can be prevented.

Of course my 1 year olf was crying and very distressed. Screaming actually. Who wouldn't after a bite like that!

Biting is a stage quite a few children go through between babies and 3yo. After 3yr it tends to be SEN children who are developmentally younger or unable to communicate verbally.

Bites can be very fast and you can be right next to both children and it still happens. Staff will be watching a known biter closely but bites can still happen simply due to the fact there are other children that need care.

Sometimes bites in older children can be missed if the bitten child is unable to say what has made them cry and the bite is under clothes. Some children don’t cry if the bite is through clothes as it doesn’t hurt so much but it might still leave a mark.

I would just speak to the nursery and see what action is being taken to reduce the risk of it happening.

But you said they didn't notice so how do you know he was upset? If he was crying surely they did notice.

I know an adult who still has a mark/scar from where they were bitten on the face by another child as a child. But unfortunately although it must be upsetting, I agree that nurseries cannot prevent every eventuality. What are they supposed to do - put a Hannibal Lecter style face cage on the bitey child? Young children are unpredictable and all learning. I hope your child’s scar fades.

If it makes you feel better, my 1yo bit my 4yo at home. I know the 1yo bites but cannot trail her 24/7. I was there within seconds too, once those teeth clamp down, that's it.

The mark is still on the 4yos arm a month later.

Huh where did i say they didnt notice im confused

What!! Im worried it will stay forever now.