Should I be told when DS gets taken out on trips?

[CoffeeAndChoccies]

I’d like opinions on whether I am blowing this out of proportion and is this quite a normal thing for preschools to do?

DS (nearly 3) started a preschool last year. He’s absolutely thriving there and has come on so much, and made some friends. Compared to his previous nursery, the handovers are certainly a lot briefer, we don’t get details of his day and only get told if something needs handing over explicitly (he’s bumped his head for example). We have to ask for anything else. I put this down to him being in a different setting (preschool rather than nursery) and him being older and this preschool just having a lot more children to do handover for.

Anyway, on his admission forms I signed to say I consented to him being taken out of preschool, on foot, to nearby high street/parks etc.

A few weeks ago DH asked if he’d been out of preschool that day as he thinks he’d been talking about stuff that didn’t make sense - a park, shops etc. I said no, that I did sign to say they could take him, but surely they’d let us know if/when they do. DS isn’t the clearest talker and he’s definitely prone to embellishing and making things up. We shrugged it off. Anyway, broke up for the holidays and got a newsletter from the preschool summarising the last term. It talks about how the children have enjoyed trips out into the local community. So it seems like he has been out the preschool.

However, I just feel very unsettled that they’ve taken him out and not said anything to us, not at drop off about the plans for that day, or at pick up when we’ve asked how he’s been and how his day has gone. I know I consented for him to go on these things, but I genuinely assumed they’d let me know as and when these trips were taking place. I feel very uneasy knowing my 2 year old wasn’t where I thought he was for periods of time. I have no problems him going on these little walking trips, he’s obviously enjoyed them with how he’s talked about them, but I do want to know where my child has been that day.

I’m thinking about sending an email asking if he’s been out on trips and if so can they let us know in future - ideally at drop off if it’s pre-planned, but definitely at pick up if the trip has been impromptu. DH agrees that we should have been told, but thinks an email is overkill. But the handovers at preschool are so rushed and hit and miss that the message may not get through and handed over, or my concern not filtered through. A (nice) email shows I’m serious and that it’s concerned me. WWYD?

This was fairly normal at the school preschool my children went to. It wouldn't have occurred to me to be bothered about it.

I think you will be 'that parent' if you ask them to email you personally about the school day.

No I wouldn't expect to be told, if I've signed a consent form to say my child can leave the school premises. DCs school ask for consent, but do say they wont necessarily tell you each time. Dc1 went to a nursery so I could go back to work, we had a hand over sheet each day in minut detail, when he started preschool, it was more like you say, they'd only tell you if they'd banged their head or something. I think it's a normal transition between settings. That said if you are uncomfortable about it, then yes tell them. Maybe some of the times.they decide to go out are adhoc, when the weather turns out better than expected etc.

Yabu unclench

At my DCs' nursery they go out quite a lot, and I certainly wouldn't expect to be told in advance unless it was somewhere logistically complicated (e.g. children need to be in early that day). But it would be very unusual in our setting not to get a detailed handover about what the child had done that day at pickup, and usually also a little write-up of the day with a few pictures. So although I don't think it's something to be worried about, I can sort of see why it's a bit disconcerting if you've only just found out.

Is that a nursery or a pre-school though?

Oh good point, both really. I've a child in the baby bit, and another in the preschool room, which is council funded and with more structured activities and obviously higher ratios. We get less detail there about food and toileting, but we do get told more or less what they've done.

That's fairly normal. You've signed to say they can walk to the park. Can you imagine how long it would take to discuss it with every parent?

He is older now and you should have the 'what did you do at preschool today?" conversation. It's a good opportunity for him to express himself, practice vocabulary, have a family conversation, listen to his opinions etc.

The blanket permission form is so that they don’t have to inform you each time. I wouldn’t expect to be told.

Work in a nursery so slightly different to pre school but the parents sign the permission form to say yes. We don't always plan the day before sometimes if the weather is nice then we decide there and then to go out but as it's something the parents have given permission for already we don't tend to say in the mornings.

We use a app however so they'd marked out on a outing on that. Ones without permission obviously stay behind

The consent form is exactly them doing that. If you don't like it, withdraw consent and he can stay behind.

Your sound like a nightmare parent. I'm a cm and take kids out all the time, luckily they prefer that to staying home and they completely trust me.

At 3 the expectation is the should tell you. If he has SEN the ask for a handover book. Otherwise I would only expect them to tell you about issues.

It’s totally normal. They’re always taken out for walks, play park, library, anything in the local community. They don’t ask you every time or even tell you every time. Why would you email to moan about this? First kid?

You are being controlling. Why does it matter? Dc should be talking better soon and can tell you about his day. School is going to drive you crazy!

OP, if you complain about this then your kid will be left behind with the other kids who don’t have permission. They won’t commit to calling you every time they decide to take the kids out and they won’t want the risk of not getting to tell you at pick up and then receiving an email complaint from you, so they’ll not not take your kid out. Up to you.

sometimes you can’t plan the weather, often it will be decided in morning that they will head out into the community. They just don’t have time to contact each and every parent, baring in mind some are a nightmare to get hold of, and gain permission. That’s why they have a blanket permissions. Equally, plans sometimes have to be scrapped so they may cancel outings.

My DDs primary school usually text to say tomorrow we’re going out for a walk or whatever, but sometimes they’ll do an impromptu trip to the park if it’s a nice day, which I think is lovely.
You signed the form so as far as they’re concerned you’ve given permission.

Go ahead and complain but they’ll never take him on a trip again because it’s not worth the aggro from you

At our local preschool they aimed to do an outing each day. Often just to local park but local woods, gather some leaves or something for art. old people’s home round the corner. They stand in the garden outside the lounge and sing some songs. The community orchard for berry / apple picking. I always thought it was quite good for them to be out and about. They wear little high vis vests and walk nicely in pairs holding a rope. I think it makes it a bit more interesting for them tbh.

Thanks everyone! It’s reassuring that it’s normal! I don’t want to be that parent so I won’t say anything. I guess I just thought that at pick up when I ask what he’s done/how he’s been they may have mentioned he’d been out. I was asking out of genuine unsureness because I’ve never had a child in preschool before and don’t know anyone who does. But I’m a bit more reassured now that’s it’s normal. We never had this at his previous nursery as it was in the countryside with nowhere to walk to except the field on site to see the animals. DS isn’t great with his speech, he only started talking last year and is still catching up and never really talks about his day in detail even though we ask him. I often ask his key worker if he did anything interesting so I can initiate the conversation to encourage his speaking (“did you do this/can you tell me about this?”). He did say a few things that made me think he may have been taken out on a trip - but he also told me he’d been stung by a bee at home when I was with him the whole time (he hadn’t been and he definitely wasn’t upset about it) and was telling everyone at nursery he’d been on an aeroplane (he hadn’t we’d just seen one in the sky)!

Had kids in both settings and it was completely normal to sign consent and see them out and about in the local area. You have already consented so why do they then need to notify you on every outing?

I'm not sure why you are so concerned? They are ratio-d and normally linked together with the waist belts and hi vis vests and risk assessed.

Thanks. But as a cm I guess when a parents specifically asks what their child has done that day you may say “oh we went to X”? I just find it strange that when I have asked afterwards they’ve never said. I understand outings can be arranged out the blue and totally understand that, and if I don’t ask them don’t tell me, but i ask how his day has gone and if he’s done anything nice and they don’t say. Anyway, as you say, it’s normal, so I’ll put myself and my “nightmare” parenting back in my box.

Our nursery have always done this right from babyroom when they go out in buggies. It often depends on the weather and isn't a set plan.

Thing is, you just need to learn to trust the place you send him. You need to
trust the pre-school when they have him and take him out. It’ll be the same in primary school. You get permission forms for any big trips on a bus or whatever, but not for local
walking trips. It’s just the same blanket form at the start of the year. I’ve been sitting in the coffee shop round from the school and watched my sons and their classes walk past on the way to visit the library/go to the park/sing at the nursing home/visit the fire station/go to the woodland.

You either accept this and trust the schools or say no permission and your kid stays in the classroom.