Should I be told when DS gets taken out on trips?

[CoffeeAndChoccies]

I’d like opinions on whether I am blowing this out of proportion and is this quite a normal thing for preschools to do?

DS (nearly 3) started a preschool last year. He’s absolutely thriving there and has come on so much, and made some friends. Compared to his previous nursery, the handovers are certainly a lot briefer, we don’t get details of his day and only get told if something needs handing over explicitly (he’s bumped his head for example). We have to ask for anything else. I put this down to him being in a different setting (preschool rather than nursery) and him being older and this preschool just having a lot more children to do handover for.

Anyway, on his admission forms I signed to say I consented to him being taken out of preschool, on foot, to nearby high street/parks etc.

A few weeks ago DH asked if he’d been out of preschool that day as he thinks he’d been talking about stuff that didn’t make sense - a park, shops etc. I said no, that I did sign to say they could take him, but surely they’d let us know if/when they do. DS isn’t the clearest talker and he’s definitely prone to embellishing and making things up. We shrugged it off. Anyway, broke up for the holidays and got a newsletter from the preschool summarising the last term. It talks about how the children have enjoyed trips out into the local community. So it seems like he has been out the preschool.

However, I just feel very unsettled that they’ve taken him out and not said anything to us, not at drop off about the plans for that day, or at pick up when we’ve asked how he’s been and how his day has gone. I know I consented for him to go on these things, but I genuinely assumed they’d let me know as and when these trips were taking place. I feel very uneasy knowing my 2 year old wasn’t where I thought he was for periods of time. I have no problems him going on these little walking trips, he’s obviously enjoyed them with how he’s talked about them, but I do want to know where my child has been that day.

I’m thinking about sending an email asking if he’s been out on trips and if so can they let us know in future - ideally at drop off if it’s pre-planned, but definitely at pick up if the trip has been impromptu. DH agrees that we should have been told, but thinks an email is overkill. But the handovers at preschool are so rushed and hit and miss that the message may not get through and handed over, or my concern not filtered through. A (nice) email shows I’m serious and that it’s concerned me. WWYD?

I live a few doors down from a Nursery and pretty much every day I see them walking the DC through town or playing in the park.

TBF this nursery has only a tiny outside play area but they are out all the time.

Isn't that what you sign the form for?

editing to say they probably consider that normal and not worth a special mention-going out would be to legoland or somewhere special-not the day to day routine outings!

Maybe a trip yes but i wouldn't relay every single true out. Walking to the shop to buy some lunch bits, stop at the pharmacy to get my prescription, run DS to the train station when it's raining... it's part of day to day life and the parents aren't interested.

Glad you've seen sense.

Has he moved from a 1:8 (or even 1:5) ratio to a 1:13 ratio ?

The handovers will likely be different due to practicalities of that.
In school, next year, when the teacher has 30 dc, you will get much less contact and now you will be half prepared for that so it won't come as so much of a shock as it does to some parents

Rather than being grateful that the Preschool is giving your son trips and outings that will give him both enjoyment and aid development absolutely send your planned email and give the overworked staff some extra paperwork to deal with. Taking a bunch of toddlers out whilst, rewarding because they get so much out of it, is incredibly hard work so perhaps they will abandon the trips as a result anyway. 👍

Pretty normal and you’ve given permission for it too.

No I wouldn't say this is unusual. Our nursery don't let us know about walking trips. We find out when ours have been on trips by the photos on the nursery app. They would let us know if they were taking the children out in a minivan.

I think you are thinking of it as a 'school trip' (when you would expect to know in advance) but they are seeing it as one of the many things they offer as part of their standard weekly rotation of activities (when you wouldn't expect notice that he would be playing at the sand table etc).

You do not sound like a nightmare parent at all. I would however withdraw consent for taking him out of the nursery. I want the peace of mind that I know where he is and that he is in a safe environment with limited variables. They should also definitely have told you at hand over where he has been in a day.

I would however withdraw consent for taking him out of the nursery. I want the peace of mind that I know where he is and that he is in a safe environment with limited variables

How sad.
I can't imagine wanting my dc to miss out on a variety of experiences.
You do realise they will risk assess each outing ?

I hope such a decision doesn't mean the other dc miss out, due to there not being enough staff to both be out on the trip and staying in the Nursery.

You’re overreacting, OP. You signed the form! The number of times I randomly saw my DS toddling past my office with his nursery crew…. More than once on my lunch break I had to hide so he didn’t see me and lose his mind 😬

He was a bit of a fave with the staff too, so they occasionally used to take him out with them on solo outings if they had to go to the supermarket for more bread or whatever. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one, but I think he got more than his fair share.

it all made me feel like he was getting a really warm, natural childcare experience- he was being looked after in a community. Not a baby jail.

How sad that you rate your peace of mind higher than the freedom of your child to experience the world with her childcarers.

You should seek help for this anxiety.

Perhaps just say you enjoyed the newsletter and would love to know when/if they are going out so you can chat to your child about it in the evening afterwards. It should highlight you want to be told without it being made into a big deal.

If you have consented to trips out there will often be little impromptu trips out locally. They would tell you about trips taken by vehicles as these would be further afield.

I signed the permission slip when Mine started. I always get told. Might only be 15 minutes notice but we are informed. My other nursery for my eldest was the same.

Children without permission will often have to stay in a room with either a different age group while the others go out and often get upset as to why they can’t go with friends. If too many don’t have permission then all the children miss out because of staff ratios.

We signed the form years ago and sometimes are told in advance and sometimes not. The other day I found out via the app they took a small group of them out for ice cream. I'm happy he gets to be in the group that has little adventures like that.

He started there very young (5m) and is there late due to autumn birthday and is getting bored. Trips have been welcome.

He's been to the library, shops, one of the staff's back garden to pick up a few eggs from their chickens, the school run to pick up the after school group, to watch the trains come in and to many parks.

I don't see why it's difficult for them to say when you pick up 'we went to the shop today. He had a nice time'.

Yes normal to do local parks, library etc. Thsts why you sign permission. Bigger trips need a separate permission slip. Their handovers sound a bit rubbish tho.

I think if it's just something like the park then that's fine. If they are doing a day excursion to the zoo that's a bit different, but I'd assume you know that as they usually also need parent volunteers

It is very sad that a previous poster would withdraw permission. I would be v pleased that my dc was having lots of varied activities including get out and about in the community. Seems very positive and a sign of a good setting. I wouldn't want my child to remain behind while all his peers were going out.

Seconded. Poor child.

For many nurseries going out on trips is a daily occurrence. Certainly mine went to the park every day unless weather totally awful. They probably wouldn’t even think to mention it as it’s an every day occurrence.

I think this is lot to do with the communication style of the child.

My children are both autistic but at almost 3 we didn’t know that (although it was suspected). My eldest couldn’t tell me jack shit about her day so I would have found this sort of thing difficult and upsetting.

She has a comms book now so I know what she’s been up to and it can aid our conversations.

My youngest is much more vocally able although also autistic. I wouldn’t have minded in her case as she can tell me about her day.

anyway, if your child struggles to communicate what they’ve done I think it’s reasonable to ask for the preschool to tell you significant things like this as it will help his development if you can talk to him about his day.

I do know what you mean op.

My dc was older than yours but once I was driving along the road in a different part of my city and I suddenly saw my dc running along the pavement with their coat flying in the wind looking as if they were messing around. I couldn’t believe it as I was not expecting them to be anywhere near that place at that time. There was a teacher with a group of pupils behind but they were sauntering casually and my dc was doing their own thing. I’ve never forgotten the image!

I often found that my dc had visited places that I didn’t know about. I’m glad they had lots of experiences but I would prefer to have known in advance if it involved a longer trip than just around the local area. They used to walk a a couple of miles to the city centre and back just on a normal day and this was a special school!

Anyway not the same but your story reminded me and I understand your feelings.

Refreshing to hear someone taking on board what others say . Well done OP . It’s a scary feeling when you have to relinquish control. I so understand your worries but your child will benefit so much . Wait til he’s at school and you ask him (assuming him) what he did today and he says nothing !

I loved it when DD and DS got taken out of nursery- lovely for the kids instead of being cooped up, especially for DS who was at nursery full time. I fully trusted them and it didn’t occur to me to be worried about dangers from the outside world.