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Original poster

Child ‘hit’ by nursery staff

129 replies

Supermathsdoc · 23/12/2024 15:13

A bit long but I’ll try to summarise:

2 weeks ago I was called by my 20m old child’s nursery to say there had been an incident. My child went to scratch another and a nursery worker hit her on the bum to stop her. There was no mark. My child was fine afterwards. I obviously didn’t see this but another nursery work did and called it out.

There was an investigation, while this took place the person was removed from the room. Nursery staff (who I think were junior) told me she wouldn’t be back and that she didn’t seem aware that she’d done anything wrong. They obviously couldn’t tell me who it was, butdid say it was a permanent (but new) member of staff rather than an unknown agency worker.

The investigation is now complete, the nursery have done all the right things, they’ve told ofsted, there’s been a disciplinary hearing etc and the person is now back in the room with some extra support.

I feel super uncomfortable with this. We have had no other issues with this nursery and my child seems happy there. I guess what im asking is what others would do? Would you disrupt your child and find a new nursery just in case? Is it just one of those things? I’m not sure what the best thing to do is.

OP posts:
romdowa · 23/12/2024 15:16

Personally I'd remove my child. The worker struck your small child, no way would i leave them near my child.

fuckmemytoehurts · 23/12/2024 15:17

I'd remove my child without second thought.

Choconuts · 23/12/2024 15:18

I am shocked the person was allowed to continue working?

Not sure where you are OP but it's illegal to smack a child in Wales and I would expect them to lose their job and the very least!

I would have to move nursery.

ShortyShorts · 23/12/2024 15:19

I never hit my own kids so over my dead body would I send them to a nursery who believed the blatant lie the nursery worker told them.

"I wasn't aware I couldn't hit the kids" 🙄

ShortyShorts · 23/12/2024 15:21

And also OP, I wouldn't be wrapping the word hit in apostrophes, as though she didn't really do it.

She did. She HIT your child.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 23/12/2024 15:21

I think I would actually feel encouraged by this. If my child went to scratch another child, I would hope they would be stopped. If they were stopped in an inappropriate way, I would be relieved to see the incident taken so seriously and with so much transparency. Though I hate to think about it, I’m confident that incidents like these take place on the daily in many settings, and are downplayed. The fact that your nursery highlighted the incident to you and followed due process seems like they really have the sh*t together and are doing their jobs well. Particularly since the nursery staff were policing each other, this wasn’t you seeing an issue and reporting it. This feels like the system working as it should.

Snugglemonkey · 23/12/2024 15:22

That is illegal here and I would have rung the police the day I heard. I would definitely be removing the child if the nursery will not remove the worker.

theallotmentqueen · 23/12/2024 15:22

I’d probably enquire into how exactly this woman was hired. There should be a DBS check and it doesn’t sound like this is the first time she’s hit a child, I find it strange it wouldn’t be on her record.

however, if it’s revealed she had an all clear DBS check, I’m not sure what to think. In my opinion, that worker could have been hired at any nursery if she put up a good front- your nursery simply had the misfortune to get her. It sounds like they took very speedy action to remedy the situation and took it very seriously, which, to me is a sign that they find child welfare very important. The nursery could easily have brushed it under the rug, but they didn’t, and took it seriously.

jessiejaney · 23/12/2024 15:22

Imagine what she could do if no one was looking

I’d remove my child AND damage their reputation

Good on the person who reported

TheCheeryLeader · 23/12/2024 15:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ShortyShorts · 23/12/2024 15:23

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 23/12/2024 15:21

I think I would actually feel encouraged by this. If my child went to scratch another child, I would hope they would be stopped. If they were stopped in an inappropriate way, I would be relieved to see the incident taken so seriously and with so much transparency. Though I hate to think about it, I’m confident that incidents like these take place on the daily in many settings, and are downplayed. The fact that your nursery highlighted the incident to you and followed due process seems like they really have the sh*t together and are doing their jobs well. Particularly since the nursery staff were policing each other, this wasn’t you seeing an issue and reporting it. This feels like the system working as it should.

The fact they kept this woman on, screams 'desperate for staff' to me.

Not encouraging at all.

MILLYmo0se · 23/12/2024 15:23

theallotmentqueen · 23/12/2024 15:22

I’d probably enquire into how exactly this woman was hired. There should be a DBS check and it doesn’t sound like this is the first time she’s hit a child, I find it strange it wouldn’t be on her record.

however, if it’s revealed she had an all clear DBS check, I’m not sure what to think. In my opinion, that worker could have been hired at any nursery if she put up a good front- your nursery simply had the misfortune to get her. It sounds like they took very speedy action to remedy the situation and took it very seriously, which, to me is a sign that they find child welfare very important. The nursery could easily have brushed it under the rug, but they didn’t, and took it seriously.

I'm not in the UK but does a DBS check show incidences like this? Or just criminal convictions

MumChp · 23/12/2024 15:25

Can child go to another room?
If not I would attend another nursery.

theallotmentqueen · 23/12/2024 15:26

MILLYmo0se · 23/12/2024 15:23

I'm not in the UK but does a DBS check show incidences like this? Or just criminal convictions

Show quote history

Oooh fair point here. I’m not actually sure- I think you might be right actually!

Original poster
Supermathsdoc · 23/12/2024 15:34

Thanks for all the replies. For some more context, which maybe I should have added earlier:

the reason I put ‘hit’ is that when they first told me about this they described it as a ‘tap’ - I wasn’t there so can’t comment and I think it probably does make a difference?

the second thing is as @UpToMyElbowsInDiapers said I was very reassured by how transparent they had been and that another person (her key worker) had called it out.

I am also in central London and this nursery has a very good reputation otherwise, to the extent I think it could happen anywhere. I guess I’m trying to balance the risk of disruption against other risks which seem low? Finally she is about ready for the next room and they have offered to move her early so she has no contact with this worker.

i think some of the communication around the worker returning was handled badly and I’ve fed that back to them. But it sounds like most people would switch nursery?

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 23/12/2024 15:34

An enhanced DBS shows convictions, spent convictions, cautions/official warnings etc.

So unless the police were involved, there would be nothing to say if she's done this before.

Original poster
Supermathsdoc · 23/12/2024 15:35

I should also say that the investigation was done by the local authority (LADO) and it seems they decided the nursery have to keep this worker on. I’m not super familiar with the processes but Google suggests this is how it works and it’s actually very hard to fire a nursery worker.

OP posts:
May09Bump · 23/12/2024 15:36

I would remove my child - the staff member is unsuitable for the profession and despite the nursery probably following guidance re actions, most contracts would enable them to dismiss the member of staff and in not doing so would in my opinion show a lack of judgement on the nursery's behalf and a lack of trust going forward. It's also a red flag that the nursery would risk this happening again and also by word of mouth risk their reputation. The staff member's DBS I believe would only show convictions, not just reports.

I'd also be majorly worried about the staff member harbouring ill feelings towards my child, given the discipline hearings, etc. Sorry this has happened to your little one.

ShortyShorts · 23/12/2024 15:36

the reason I put ‘hit’ is that when they first told me about this they described it as a ‘tap’ - I wasn’t there so can’t comment and I think it probably does make a difference?

Hit, tap - whatever. It was serious enough for another member of staff to report her and for her to be investigated.

Whatever room your child ends up in, she'll still be attending a nursery that's happy to employ a member of staff who did this.

BarbaraHoward · 23/12/2024 15:45

Have a chat with them and ask more about their reasoning, since it seems like you trust the nursery. Consider asking that she be moved to another room.

My DD suffered a relatively minor injury when a staff member was momentarily distracted. Personally I thought it was the sort of thing that could happen to anyone in a busy room but the owner was furious and gutted DD was hurt and gave the woman a formal warning. They really should take these things seriously.

Having said that, if it was a reflexive light tap on the nappy from an older member of staff rather than anything that could actually injure a child and the worker understood the gravity (and was someone I knew and liked) I would try an get by it for a lovely nursery my child was settled at.

Einaldilastcup · 23/12/2024 15:46

I felt encouraged by their response until you said she was back in the room.

She should have been sacked as she clearly doesn’t understand that you can’t smack other people’s kids and it’s a safeguarding issue.

Do people need to be told they can’t strike other people’s kids or was this an instinctual reaction? This would actually worry me more.

She’s not been trained properly and I’d wonder about the training of the other employees.

It’s very odd she hasn’t been let go as I’d assume it was gross misconduct and they should really be protecting the business from potential court cases. I own my own business and if this was mine she’d be gone. You could literally ruin this business with a review on line - so why they didn’t sack her and aim to keep you at the nursery so you wouldn’t review is bonkers

Einaldilastcup · 23/12/2024 15:47

Is also be looking to see CCTV footage.

Einaldilastcup · 23/12/2024 15:48

Supermathsdoc · 23/12/2024 15:35

I should also say that the investigation was done by the local authority (LADO) and it seems they decided the nursery have to keep this worker on. I’m not super familiar with the processes but Google suggests this is how it works and it’s actually very hard to fire a nursery worker.

No it’s not. This was gross misconduct

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 23/12/2024 15:49

I would have asked the nursery to confirm they’d reported it to the police. It is not for the nursery or even LADO to decide if a criminal offence has taken place. If there is a chance an offence has taken place, the nursery and LADO have a duty to report to the police and let them decide on any further action

WinterBird24 · 23/12/2024 15:51

I’m surprised the worker has been retained - how did this come to light? Was it witnessed by other staff? If so that’s a good sign re the other staff that there’s a zero tolerance approach. Their response seems good, but the fact they kept this worker on is disappointing.