WWYD if your dc came home from nursery with these bruises?

[mena78]

For context, this is from two settle sessions. The first I was present and no bruises. The second and third resulted in the two bruises pictured. He was only there for 45 mins and 20 minutes without me.

When I came back they didn't mention anything and to be fair even I didn't notice until we had got home.

He won't be going back anyway for other reasons but I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to raise this especially since I can't prove they actually happened at nursery once we've got home.

The first one on the hand I didn't mention because he could easily have done that by hitting something hard. The second one concerns me more.

What, if anything, do I need to do? He doesn't seem in pain. The reason I came back in after 20 mins instead of 45 the second time was because I could hear him screaming from outside. Grabbed him and took him straight home.

It's distressed me a bit, any advice? Is this just normal nursery stuff?

FWIW I changed his t shirt before we went and the bruise was 100% not there then

Looks like he ran full pelt into a table. DS used to do that a lot

Take photos and take him to gp tomorrow ….get it recorded ….you need to ask how it happened ….a doctor can then decide if it’s a plausible and if not a safeguarding referral will be made by the doctor

How old is he ?

The first looks like he fell on something ? However I would have expected an explanation .

The second also looks like a line so depends on what he fell on. .

I think both you need to ask for an explanation .

I'd be very concerned particularly about the second one.
I think the advice to contact them and get their version of what happened as well as take to the gp urgently is good advice.
Did they/he say why he was crying so badly you could hear him outside?

Looks like he ran into something. DS had a similar one once from going full pelt into the coffee table. Have you asked them? Maybe not worth it if you’ve already decided he’s not going back though. The hand one doesn’t look like anything.

I would ask for an explanation. I wouldn't say what the bruising is like but that second one he has most likely run at or fallen on something like the edge of a table or box. The impact would have been hard and the staff would have noticed as unless he has an unusual response to pain (additional needs etc) then he would have cried.

Escalate if their explanation isn't plausible.

Actually I should have mentioned he has additional needs and they've decided he needs a more specialist setting and an EHCP . Basically they couldn't manage.

He was leaning on a baby gate the top of which is a long spindle type metal bar so its possible that's what caused it.

I'm just really upset tonight - he's 2

He was screaming because he wanted to get out

I used to do that and I was the teacher! I always had bruises at table level or door handle level. I didn't even know about them until I got undressed at home.

I'd be concerned about the bruise on his abdomen too and would want an explanation. I think it is worth chasing up even if he is not returning.

I would very much assume that he has bruised himself by leaning hard or ramming himself in to the baby gate trying to escape.
Sounds like he needs a more specialist setting to meet his needs. I don’t think I would do anything further. Both injuries can be easily explained

Sounds like you have your explanation. I wouldn’t take this any further. Initially I was concerned but given that he has additional needs I think the gate is a perfectly plausible explanation.
the fact that he has probably been so desperate to get out that he has bruised himself tells you that the nursery is right and this is probably not the right setting for him. 💐

So the stair gate seems the logical explanation and if you came straight back in as he cried out that would be the most likely time did you ask why he was screaming at the time?

So you know how the second one happened? He’s done it to himself whilst struggling to get over the gate? What is you are suggesting the nursery has done wrong? It sounds like they were completely unprepared for him. What do you think they should have done differently?

Thanks. I do think @Gymmum82 is right and my thinking is a bit emotional, it's been a day.

No I didn't ask why he was crying I just said I'd heard him, they said he wouldn't come away from the door/gate.

He was consistently crying the whole time he was there.

They weren't unprepared I had provided specialist reports, assessments, reams of info, they said it would be fine

Doesn’t sound like the nursery have done anything wrong given your explanation of his behaviour. I would look for a special needs provision rather than mainstream.

What I'm suggesting is that if I can manage him without bruising and injuring him day in and day out I would have thought they, a team of three, would be able to protect him from harm for 20 minutes. Idk maybe asking too much

You are his person, in his environment and you have an emotional connection to him. Nursery is totally different.

But your his mum who knows him and his behaviours inside out! They are staff who have only just met him who have to also care for many other children at the same time! I don’t think it’s comparable especially given his needs.

I can’t believe they left a two year old screaming at a door gate and told you “he won’t come away”. Why didn’t they pick him up and move him, especially as he was left with those bruises. Plus they should agve been giving him reassurance and a cuddle!
I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience today and think you should make a complaint about them.

But you’re his mom, he knows you, is comfortable with you. You know his triggers.
you are also solely responsible for him ( and any few siblings) those three people are responsibly for him and many more!
you’ve also took him out of what he knows, his safe environment and placed him in the unknown with unknown people. He was going to be upset.

Ignore those saying it’s not the nursery’s fault. He’s two years old, it was his third time there so they do know him and they left him screaming his head off to such an extent that he sustained bruising. It’s really not acceptable!

I know Lizzie, we wouldn't have gone back even if they could accommodate him. They had absolutely no clue.

He may not have accepted their comfort, he may have been physical with them or got more distressed when they tried?
it’s not always as simple as “pick him up and move him away”
I totally understand that you are upset by what has happened today, however this is yours and his reality. You have to accept that a mainstream setting probably cannot manage his needs and look into specialist provision.

That's all true and I have now requested an EHCNA, however other professionals involved have not made that judgement and have said he should be manageable in mainstream. My question was more about the damage to my son and my appropriate response