Toddler Bitten 6 Time Now at Nursery

[Anonymousmummmy]

Hi All, my 1.5 year old joined a new nursery in May and had been bitten 6 times since being there (was never bitten at previous nursery). I know that there’s not much the nursery can really do about this but is this frequency of biting normal? He goes to nursery full time so is there a lot. It just feels like I’m signing a lot of accident forms saying he’s been bitten… again, and they look incredibly painful which makes me really sad. It’s been twice on the face (cheeks), twice on the hand, once on the finger (yesterday), and then again today on his forearm (pic below). Thanks all😕

Six is too much, ask how they're going to safe guard him to ensure this doesn't keep happening again and again - and if they can't tell you then move him somewhere else. They need to be keeping a much closer eye on the child or children that are doing the biting. I'd be concerned whether the nursery was any good and be looking to move him anyway tbh.

I know that there’s not much the nursery can really do about this

I disagree with this when he's been bitten this many times. Yes - a child who has never bitten before might suddenly bite and the nursery couldn't have seen it coming. But I'd imagine that most, if not all, of these bites are from the same child. So the nursery should be monitoring that child much more closely and being proactive about spotting what situations it's happening in.

My eldest was in nursery from 11 months and was only bitten once. My youngest started at 9 months and was bitten twice by the same child in a fortnight - this was a year ago and it hasn't happened since (she's 2.5 so still at nursery). I wouldn't be happy at all with 6 times in three months.

We've been in nursery for a year now and my DD has never been bitten- this is too much. I'd be looking at other options.

They will know the child who is biting so they should be monitoring the situation better. Definitely press the nursery for better management of the issue.

I would definitely not be happy with this. Your poor baby. There’s clearly an issue with a child (is it the same biter each time?)
The safeguarding lead and SENCO need to pull their finger out to help support the biting child and keep the other children safe.
I’d be checking my contract with them and making a formal complaint.

6 times in like 3 months is too many
As pp^^ the nursery should be keeping a better watch on your child and the biter to see if it’s the same child biting and what the trigger may be. They can then put appropriate measures in place

They have a duty of care to keep your child safe. This happened to my child a few times. The odd nip I can cope with but when the child bit her face and left a mark I threatened to withdraw her unless they did something with the child in question. He was put on 1:1 supervision and it didn't happen again.

No that's not ok, it's way too many. One fine, but 6 since May? Is it the same kid doing biting or different kids?

My child was a biter, and a very early walker so she could run around biting immobile children… she had the fastest fittest key worker running around after her all day and then got moved up early to be with bigger older children. She grew out of it in time but there are pro-active things nursery can do.

My child was a biter

Did nursery tell you every time? Did they insist you take them home? Did you apologise to the other child’s parents? Did you stop them at home?

I know it wasn't me you were asking but when my child was bitten, I wasn't told who did it. And I doubt the parents of the child who bit were told who was bitten. I think nurseries generally want to avoid parents having arguments with each other over it!

This didn't bother me, I was more interested in the steps the nursery would take to prevent it in future, than knowing which child it is. I couldn't have done anything with that information.

It can be tricky with biters with no triggers. Under two's often aren't doing it for the same reasons older children might. They are still very oral and it can be another way of exploring with their mouths. They have no concept that it 'hurts in the way an older child might. There is a possibility in a baby room it could be a much younger baby biting.

All the staff will be watching a known biter as much as possible but it isn't always possible to catch them in time. I've had a biter right next to me and still not been able to stop them in time when it is without a known trigger. Obviously, children with triggers are monitored closely to ensure they are closely watched at times they are mostly likely to be overwhelmed.

As a parent though I know how heart breaking it feels when your baby has been the one bitten. Talk to your nursery and make sure you are happy with the way it is being dealt with within the room. They should be able to explain what they are doing to minimise the risks. It is a very common phase in under 3's unfortunately and quite a upsetting one for all involved. As a person who comforts children who have been bitten I can honestly say no good nursery staff member would be letting it happen if they could prevent it in the moment.

That's awful. Your poor boy. Nursery should be doing more, keeping a closer eye on the biting child. I would kick up a justified fuss about 6 bites on my 18 month old

Whoever is biting your ds has really latched onto him to leave a mark like that it must have really hurt him.
I'd be asking what they're going to do to stop this in future, poor little soul six times is horrendous.

They told me at pick up
Obviously I was taking them home anyway
I wasn’t told who the other parents were
At home we played non stop Dracula, fighting, and teethmark contests. (Of course I stopped them at home!!)

Another one who was mortified when her DC bit at preschool (so about 3). They were fab, followed him around and watched the same child he’d bitten remove four toys on the bounce from him…and worked with both children to sort the problem.

OP, your nursery should be doing something similar to avoid incident number two (let alone six!)…assuming it’s the same child biting!

Take a 18 month old child home? You mean excluded from nursery? 🧐

The nursery will hopefully be monitoring the biter

We had this in nursery, the biter had to be on 1:1 which is difficult around staffing issues
It takes a split second for the child to bite and even with the 1:1 he sometimes managed to still bite, he grew out of it after about 6 months

It's really hard to stop children biting especially as it takes a while to get a 1:1,in place. But children are quick. It's not as if a child says to the nursery staff I'm going to bite x and the staff say go ahead
My child was bitten at nursery by a known bitter a few times (I only knew which child it was because I worked there and could work it out). It was horrible, I was so upset but there was nothing I expected them to do because it takes a split second.. Sometimes the child who bites will go for the same child over and over. You can shadow, use biting toys, offer extra snacks but it doesn't always work.
Of course you can move your child but they may get bitten again or become the bitter.

Do you know if it’s the same child? If it is, you need to ask them what they’re doing to protect your kid. Does that child only target your kid or is ‘just a biter’? how are they going to separate this child to yours?

you need a meeting and ask about how you can escalate as you don’t feel that they’re managing to keep your child safe

Your poor child…

It’s happened 6 times. They know it’s unacceptable but have done nothing. They shouldn’t need a parent to go in and ask them to prevent this happening. I would have already taken my child out.

No not acceptable. My daughter was repeatedly pushed when she started by the same child. The child's hours were reduced and I was offered to change my hours so my daughter was not in on the same days. The problem was resolved. The nursery allowed the child to come back once the behaviour stopped.

I would ask them if it's the same child and what is being done to keep your child safe. They may not be able to stop a child going through biting phase but if one child is being targeted they can do more to protect them.

One of mine was a biter and it was mortifying. Nursery didn't tell me who she'd bitten but her sister told me every time.

We worked a lot at home and with the nursery to sort it. She just stopped one day.

OP - so sorry that your little one has been bitten, it’s so upsetting when this happens.

I’m really interested by the replies on here though. My son was definitely bitten around once or twice a month at nursery when he was about 1-2, though only two occasions were really bad and left bruising/wounds. The nursery were generally excellent, and I’m not sure how much they could have done to prevent an emotional toddler quickly turning and biting in a split second. I think the culprits were all different, and I know my son would bite others at times (I would get the soul-crushing incident reports). It was taken seriously; however, I think some children do unfortunately bite or lash out occasionally as they learn to communicate and regulate their emotions, despite all the modelling and sanctions and best will in the world. He is now 3 and there has been no biting/being bitten for over a year.