Toddler Bitten 6 Time Now at Nursery

[Anonymousmummmy]

Hi All, my 1.5 year old joined a new nursery in May and had been bitten 6 times since being there (was never bitten at previous nursery). I know that there’s not much the nursery can really do about this but is this frequency of biting normal? He goes to nursery full time so is there a lot. It just feels like I’m signing a lot of accident forms saying he’s been bitten… again, and they look incredibly painful which makes me really sad. It’s been twice on the face (cheeks), twice on the hand, once on the finger (yesterday), and then again today on his forearm (pic below). Thanks all😕

My niece got bitten nursery said it wouldn't happen again. It happened again and the skin was broken my sister moved dniece and it didn't happen in the new nursery.

My kid has been in nursery for three years and has never been bitten.

Six times in three months? I really don't think that's normal, or acceptable (and for context, I am generally quite a relaxed parent - my little girl has injured herself at nursery a fair few times by running into things, tripping over things, and I've never blamed the nursery for that - these things happen. But repeated biting incidents? I really don't think that's ok.)

Hmmmm, there is definitely a market for muzzles for toddlers..

It is horrible to be bitten and to see a bite on your child, but I would put it into perspective- it's less sore than repeated falls, scabbed skinned knees, and less dangerous than a blow to the head.
A lot of very young children will bite to communicate especially if they are non verbal. This explains why it's often the same child - it can often be a way of getting attention or asking to play because the biter really likes the other child.
If biting continues into 3 or 4 year old children it's a good idea to get a full speech and language check as it can often be a sign of communication delay.
All these reasons are why staff will be sensitive about disclosing the name of a child who bites.

In a good nursery staff will not make a fuss over biting but they will deal with it in the same way they would deal with other hurtful behaviour- and try to discourage it in very young children. I can't believe a child was excluded for biting- would they be excluded for pushing or shouting?
All these actions are really difficult to police as pps have said, they can happen in moments.

My 3 year old came home from nursery repeatedly over the course of a few weeks with bites like this all from the same child. I would say these were more painful and distressing than a sore knee or falling over tbh.

We got sick of it very quickly and spoke to the nursery manager about it and she wasn't bitten again. It's unacceptable and shouldn't just be treated like "one of those things" when it's to this kind of level or happening over and over.

My eldest was a biter and my youngest has been the bitten. In both situations the biter was very closely monitored and followed around. With youngest for a short time they were separated into different parts of the room.

It happens, it's upsetting for both sides.

Ask the nursery what they are doing to keep your child safe. If it's not only your child being bitten (my youngest was the target for some reason) then that could mean they closely monitor the biter. If it's just your child they may closely monitor your child.

This is just a fucking brilliant reply - "non stop Dracula, fighting and teethmark contests". I actually can't stop laughing ....

OP, 6 times is way too much as everyone has said. My daughter was in nursery from a baby until she started school, and I don't think she was actually ever bitten!

There is plenty nursery can do to try and prevent it happening, certainly with this frequency. My friend's son was a biter and from what I recall the nursery assigned a key worker to work with him specially on this? It was a while ago so my memory is fuzzy, but I am sure I can remember her discussing it with me. She had lots of meetings with the nursery about it - all very stressful. (For her, and no doubt for the bitten children and their parents too). He did grow out of it of course.

@ForObviousReasons24 this is exactly why nursery staff won't disclose who the biter is.
I know it's upsetting but honestly those bruises aren't as bad as a fall in the playground where children's knees or faces are scabbed over for weeks, or a nasty cut from a fall, or mean name calling.

Of course staff will try and prevent this and separate children but parents really need to dial back their emotional reactions to biting. If you put babies, toddlers and small children together in groups they will do these things.

@cavepainter what?! A child having a tumble in the playground is worse than being repeatedly bitten?! Seriously?! You're actually saying tripping while playing is worse than another person sinking their teeth into your body, making you bleed and scarring you??

Your poor child. That’s 1 bite every three weeks.

by contrast I’ve had all three children go though the same nursery and never had a bite. It’s only happened once, to my eldest, at a baby group I took him to. I’m shocked frankly, yes ok kids bite but these are just the bites you’re seeing. There must be so many others. Complain and if you see one more bite, find somewhere else and write to ofsted.

Agreed. It’s very much worse. The bacteria on teeth often lead to infection.

6 bites are unacceptable. I would talk to management first thing and express my concerns and ask for a plan to keep my child safe at nursery.
They need a good explanation failing to keep a child safe from six bites. One or two bites, yes, it happens, but six bites? - no way

If issue not met and sorted by management I would change nursery.
I wouldn't trust the nursery to act with proper responsibility and care for my child if the manager doesn't sort an issue like this straight away and understand the concerns.

I’m incredibly chilled out about kids and all the going’s on that happen but even I am
appalled at the frequency of the biting your poor child has endured.
this is totally unacceptable and you need to protect them .
Create hell at the nursery and move your child if it happens again .

My son was bitten on his first day - he didn't go again - we still laugh about it 30 years later - it hurt me more than him

Those bruises and bite marks took 2 weeks to go away.

And none of my children have ever been scared to go back to nursery in case they fall over and hurt their knee. They have however been scared that a child older and bigger than them will attack them again. And just because there are "worse" injuries, doesn't excuse this kind of behaviour from one child towards another.

@DoreenonTill8 @Improbablywrong
children get horrible injuries while they are playing and that is part of life and growing up.
The bites in the picture shown haven't broken the skin. How many breastfeeding mums have been bitten by their own baby while nursing? It's quite normal for young children to bite. How many people have been bitten by a puppy or kitten? It's a stage of development and sometimes children take longer to learn than others.
Of course it's a nightmare that the OPs child has been bitten so often which is upsetting, but if her child had fallen and had six bumps to the head that would be far more dangerous and concerning. However there would be more that the staff could do to prevent this - they could risk assess the environment for trip hazards, slipping etc. It's difficult to completely prevent biting and it may be an undiscovered SEN. The OP will know what care looks like in her nursery and whether children are looked after lovingly. If there are other recurring injuries occurring as well as biting, that would be a bigger cause for concern. A child who bites is not sitting planning their next victim or having a chunk of flesh for a snack.

I was sent to A&E when a child bit me. It’s worse than a dog bite and you need to ensure you have tetanus up to date

Here


@Greytulips that hasn't broken the skin- it's the OPs post. There is no way that child needs tetanus or antibiotics and has probably had a recent tetanus vaccination anyway.

@Greytulips hopefully the picture shows this time

This is why good qualified staff are leaving nurseries (there are other reasons too). You actually can't stop children biting. Even in a baby room it 1 member of staff for 3 children so people saying it's not good enough or the child should shadowed (which by the way won't stop the biting) perhaps you should offer to pay more money so they can employ a 1:1.
I'd love all parents to work in a nursery for a week and then decide if it's still easy.
By the way everyone who says my child was never bitten (which is great) doesn't mean other children weren't bitten. Every nursery will have at least one child who bites.
By all means get Ofsted involved if you like, won't stop children biting.

@Emeraldiisland this

I'd love all parents to work in a nursery for a week and then decide if it's still easy.

Can we pin this? 😁😁