Nursery drop offs and pick ups

[Preggers101]

2 nursery aged children and 2 parents who both work full time. One works 8- 5.30 and the other works 9-5 with similar commuting times. Should the 9-5 parent do all the nursery drop offs and pick ups? What can the other parent do to equal things out a little?

Yes it makes most sense (unless logistics of location say otherwise) but as long as the rest of the jobs are pretty evenly shared I wouldn’t think much needed to be done to “even it out”

It's hard to judge, what's the nursery times. How far is the nursery from each person's work. If the nursery is like ours and 8-6 it makes sense for the 9-5 person to do them especially if there's travel involved.

Depends a bit on location of the nursery and how fixed those times are but assuming the 8-5:30 person can do some pick ups and drop offs, I think they should - but perhaps slightly fewer.

Depends what time the nursery is open and where the nursery is.

For example our nursery is open 7:30-5:30, so with 2 people doing those shifts then the person doing 8-5:30 would do drop off and other parent would do pick up

Yes. Other parent does bathtime

Impossible to answer without knowing more. Eg opening/closing times. Distances from work- who can get there and who can't etc

A big factor is whether the jobs are absolutely leave at 5 / 5:30 on the dot. If they can't and overtime is expected or common then pick ups should be shared more evenly

This exactly this.

And the parent who doesn't do pick up does bed time

Hang on, so one parent works an extra hour and a half a day compared to the other parent? Then of course the parent with shorter hours should do all pick up and drop offs, and the other should not be doing anything more to 'compensate' -they're already working an extra 7.5 hours which is an extra working day!

The 9-5 should do picks and drops. Everything else all being equal I don’t think this needs evening out as the 8-5.30 parent has a much longer work day. That’s assuming that there’s not more to it like some situation where the 9-5 is coming from miles away on a bus, whilst the 8-5.30 works next door and has a car.

So parent A works 1.5hrs a day longer than parent B?

Parent B do more pick ups and drop offs. Its whats best for the kids, not being fair.

Alternatively they could do something like the supermarket shop on the way home, while Parent A picks up the children one day a week.

Wow thanks for the quick replies. Nursery is a 5 min drive from home. Opening hours 7.30-6pm, though that would be a very long day for the little ones to do all of that. Yes the 8-5.30 parent works a longer day (they also have a 1 hour lunch break while other parent has a 30 min lunch break if that's important?). Similar commute times for both parents. Culture is leave at 5 or 5.30 exactly, overtime not expected in either job.

Can the 8-530 one ask for flexible working and start at 830, do drop off and have a half hour lunch?

I think for me but this might not be relevant - what would play into it would be:

Has the parent with the longer hours chosen that/made any attempt to change it - e.g. shortening lunch break to leave earlier

Does doing pick up every day get restrictive for shorter hours parent? E.g for me I would hate to do pick up every day as it would mean never being able to go to the pub with my team for leaving drinks or whatever

Surely whoever finishes first collects DC asap, so they get more time at home with their family? That’s what DH and I do. I’m a teacher so usually collect from grandparents around 5pm, but DH is self employed so if he randomly finishes a job at 2pm he’ll collect DD2 on his way home.

I’d have thought it’s not about what’s fair between parents, but what is best for the child.

I don't understand the concept of 'evening things out' when it comes to picking up your child.
If it makes more sense time wise for one parent to do pick up and drop off then go for that?
My DP does pick up and drop off every day because nursery is on the way to his work and I work further away. We genuinely have never had this even be a discussion that it's unfair on one or the other to be doing that.

Honestly can't even see why this is an issue. Why is it hard to collect children from nursery? Why is it a 'chore' that needs repaid? Why does lunch break even come into it?

Nursery drop off and pickup can be stressful with two that age. Can the 8-5:30 parent easily get to them? If the 9-5 parent went straight home and got dinner started and some laundry folded etc while the other did pickup a couple of days a week would that result in a less stressful evening for everyone?

But surely a work night out is the exception. I do the majority because I work around the corner from nursery however if there is a work do or i need to work late for some reason my partner can and does do the pick ups albeit slightly later.

I think the 9-5 should do the majority of the pick ups.

It makes sense for the 9- 5 parent to drop off and collect .

the other parent is out the house. Jobs are split when both are home . For 5 minutes away from home seems a big issue .

so what is the actual argument about ?

There is no argument, just working out the balance between what's best for kids (most time at home possible) and what's reasonable (5 drop offs and 5 pick ups a week might be stressful), and work out the best routine.

Possibly do it that the 9 start person drops off, 5.30 person picks up on the basis that 5pm person has dinner started for everyone. Could make the evening run smoother if the meal is already prepped and cooking.

I'm in same position and I do drop off and pick up because I'm last to leave and first to finish.

Ffs when did parenting become such a competition? Going on about lunch breaks like it matters. Logically the parent doing 9-5 should do nursery runs

God this is so tit for tat. Do you owe each other money too? Be a team. 9-5 does nursery runs, other parents does other things eg cooking, laundry, bedtime, whatever works. It all comes out in the wash.