Nursery teacher's comments

[Engineeringmama]

Feeling frustrated with one of the nursery nurse's at my ds nursery. She has commented a number of times now about 'my son being the last for pick up' this isn't actually true and I cannot recall a time where he has ever been the last to be picked up. We usually get there 10-15 minutes before they close at 6. I think most people pick their children up slightly earlier because they work close by and we all live within a town.

For example she has said to my son in front of everyone 'you're not the last to be picked up for once.'

Today she said to another child ,'ds has gone before you, your mummy must have forgotten you today'. Then I said bye to her (I think she didn't realize I was there) and then she said oh no 'another child's is here too.

She seems desperate to leave, another time I was picking ds up and she said 'now is not the time to be getting toys out', to him fairly sternly.

The thing is all parents have different jobs and routines. We've never been late, and he has never been the last to be picked up. I would have thought a nursery teacher would be more mindful of the different schedules parents have.

I understand it's stressful being a nursery nurse, but I don't think it's appropriate to be saying these things? What are your thoughts?

Definitely fine to pick up anytime before 6, it's what you have paid for! We have an app that we are asked to update with a rough expected time for when we are picking up, but nobody minds if you're earlier or later than that...it's more so they start getting them ready for when you arrive! We have also change nurseries as the previous one had a similar view to some posters that the children shouldn't get toys out later in the day, they used to put them in front of the tv after tea and that was it, even if you didn't pick up until 6!
I would definitely say something about your concerns, it isn't ok for them to be saying that to the children or you.

The toy situation rule is a bit unclear at this nursery. He was trying to hold something as we were putting his coat on etc( this nursery we go into the play room to pick him up). We usually see all of the other children still playing with toys at the end of the day and the nursery manager is especially kind with sometimes letting children take a toy home if it helps the parent and child with the transitions of the day.

Nope, not me.

Depending how much it annoys you I'd either ignore it or confront it head on. A direct confuses 'Why do you say that every time' or an assertive 'Actually, I'm 10 minutes early so just bear with me whilst I make a quick call'

I think you're being unreasonable about the toy remark though. Surely of you were about to leave your home you wouldn't let your child get toys out. Seems a perfectly reasonable request.

@JudgeRudy sorry I didn't explain it very well, if he does do that I always ask him to put it back when we leave, and if he doesn't I put it back for him.

It's normally just the one toy, but not always.

I don't want to make extra work for them.

My two girls go to a nursery open 8-6pm. They are dropped off at 8am when the doors open. I start work at 8:30 and then I finish work at 5:30 and usually at the nursery by 5:50pm. If the nursery hours are until 6pm then absolutely they can stay til 6pm. I don't have the luxury of going home to chill after I drop my one off so they are there all day 3 times a week. I would 100% mention it to the nursery manager. She's obviously saying inappropriate comments all day and that is not acceptable. She needs to be pulled up on itZ

@Louoby you're right it is worrying to think what else she might be saying. Another nursery teacher was present when she said it, but clearly no one is pulling her up on it.

And with today's financial climate it's putting everyone under pressure. There's no need for anyone's judgement on it.

If the arrangement is collect by 6pm then that's it. There will be other staff getting the jobs done whilst a small number look after the remaining children.

I'd be fairly direct with her myself whilst giving her the chance to stop doing it before going to the manager

'You've spoken a few times like I should be collecting DS earlier than I am - which is earlier than the time I pay until, I was also there when you said to a child their parent has forgotten them and it wasn't 6pm am I missing something? I have checked the terms and conditions and my collection time is 6 but I can check with the manager if that has changed?'

If it then carries on I would speak to the manager

@HAF1119 that's a smart way to go around it directly with her, thanks!

She seems desperate to leave, another time I was picking ds up and she said 'now is not the time to be getting toys out', to him fairly sternly. I wasn't there obviously but this sounds absolutely fine to me? They've presumably tidied up for the day by this point? The rest of it yeah speak to the manager.

I would complain. Absolutely unacceptable.

Children are not supposed to be made aware they are last, they should be occupied until they go home to minimise their stress. Ofsted wouldn't like it. Complain.

You’ve paid until 6pm so remind her that you are in fact early. Complain about being shamed for being late when you are not late.

That's actually really upsetting to read. If a worker told my toddler that I must have forgotten about him? He'd be devastated and shocked. That's really awful.

And the shitty comments have to stop, you've paid until 6pm! Unless you roll in at 6.01pm they shouldn't be saying anything.

100% speak to the managers and make a complaint.

I would 100% complain, it’s a dreadful way to talk in front of the children and it is likely the tip of the iceberg.

We have never been late to pick up (always at least 15 mins before close) but in the holidays DD is sometimes the last (as fewer in), but someone has to be last!

Yes... I know it's not what happens. I said that that is what should happen instead of the staff just getting annoyed and making pointed digs at the OP and making comments in front of the child because management don't allocate enough time for them to do their work.

Staff getting their work completed isn't the OPs problem as long as she is collecting her child during the times that she's paying for. The OP pays for the use of the nursery till 6pm, therefore there should be no issue collecting her child anytime up until 6pm. That's the managements problem that they aren't allowing enough time for staff to complete their work for the day. They should either amend the customer contracts going forward to say that the operating hours of the nursery are until 5.45, allowing staff to use the remaining 15 minutes or they should pay the staff until 6.15.

She´s way out of line. I would go straight to the manager about the late comments and especially telling my daughter her mother has forgotten her. Just for that alone I wouldn´t give her the opportunity to rectify, I would go for her jugular. But that´s just me, I guess I´m petty where my daughter is concerned.

Unacceptable, you are on time and she shouldn't be making those comments at all. Working hours are extremely long as a nursery nurse and the days are extremely exhausting but if she can't hack it, she shouldn't be there. I know there are the odd parents who come in at 6.25PM (final collection time was 6.30PM) and then spend up to half an hour trying to chat to the remaining staff which never went down well because after a ten hour hard graft shift you want to go home at your finish time and not a minute after, but that's clearly not what's happening here.

Toys comment is fair enough. We shut at 6 but for the last 10 to 15 minutes we have story time or sensory toy play or we play with an adult led game as everything else is tided up .I do feel sorry for the children there until 6 as the last 10 minutes must be a bit boring but unfortunately we are only paid until 6 so try to keep it tidy after 5:50.
The other comments are absolutely vile and not on at all. Sometimes someone might say oh your mum's early today, that's nice but nothing about a child being forgotten or a parent being late especially if they're not.
You can pick up until 6 and actually I would speak to the manager about it rather than the staff member.