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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Nursery teacher's comments

46 replies

Engineeringmama · 31/07/2023 18:33

Feeling frustrated with one of the nursery nurse's at my ds nursery. She has commented a number of times now about 'my son being the last for pick up' this isn't actually true and I cannot recall a time where he has ever been the last to be picked up. We usually get there 10-15 minutes before they close at 6. I think most people pick their children up slightly earlier because they work close by and we all live within a town.

For example she has said to my son in front of everyone 'you're not the last to be picked up for once.'

Today she said to another child ,'ds has gone before you, your mummy must have forgotten you today'. Then I said bye to her (I think she didn't realize I was there) and then she said oh no 'another child's is here too.

She seems desperate to leave, another time I was picking ds up and she said 'now is not the time to be getting toys out', to him fairly sternly.

The thing is all parents have different jobs and routines. We've never been late, and he has never been the last to be picked up. I would have thought a nursery teacher would be more mindful of the different schedules parents have.

I understand it's stressful being a nursery nurse, but I don't think it's appropriate to be saying these things? What are your thoughts?

OP posts:

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Market1 · 31/07/2023 18:35

I would make a complaint, she has no excuse to be talking like that. What is she like the rest of the time?

Theimpossiblegirl · 31/07/2023 18:37

She needs to stop making these comments to the children. It can be upsetting for them. It's not very professional, I'd mention it.

Original poster

Engineeringmama · 31/07/2023 18:37

She's sometimes nice, but sometimes she seems a bit moody. Everyone else is always very nice.

OP posts:

Original poster

Engineeringmama · 31/07/2023 18:39

Yeah well that's the thing, I just don't think it's nice for children to hear.

OP posts:

ConnieTucker · 31/07/2023 18:39

your mummy must have forgotten you today
i would complain about that comment. That is upsetting to a child.

Jewelanemone · 31/07/2023 18:41

Do you expect a full handover when you arrive 10 minutes before closing? The staff have jobs to do after the children have gone, and they will want to leave on time. They have lives outside the nursery too.

Spirallingdownwards · 31/07/2023 18:43

I would make a show of looking at my watch and say oh dear it is 6 already. No it isn't I am here in plenty of time, after all I have paid for another 20 minutes.

AppleKatie · 31/07/2023 18:44

Do you expect a full handover when you arrive 10 minutes before closing?

given that a ‘full handover’ takes less than 5 minutes yes I absolutely would expect it if I arrived with 10-15 minutes to spare before closing!

Bumblebee2022 · 31/07/2023 18:47

She shouldn’t be commenting like that at all, but especially not to the children. As long as parents aren’t late (obviously a one off because the bus was late or the motorway was blocked is different), it shouldn’t matter when they get there. It’s always nice if children are picked up a bit earlier, so you get an early finish (everyone appreciates an early finish every now and again), but it shouldn’t be expected. Yes there are jobs to do after the children leave and your child shouldn’t be getting toys out when he is just about to be going home, but if the nursery is open till 6 and you are there at 5.50 for a handover, that’s completely fine.

Newuser75 · 31/07/2023 18:48

AppleKatie · 31/07/2023 18:44

Do you expect a full handover when you arrive 10 minutes before closing?

given that a ‘full handover’ takes less than 5 minutes yes I absolutely would expect it if I arrived with 10-15 minutes to spare before closing!

I'd totally agree. To my mind if they close at 6 the latest I'd want to be there is 5.55pm. Get a quick handover and head home. There generally isn't much to say anyway other than they have had a good day and eaten/not eaten lunch etc.

Original poster

Engineeringmama · 31/07/2023 18:49

@Jewelanemone all I was instructed to do when I joined this nursery was to make sure to arrive before 6 otherwise you pay extra. Nothing about how 'early'.

OP posts:

Duckduckie · 31/07/2023 18:50

@Jewelanemone is that you? The nursery nurse in question?

Duckduckie · 31/07/2023 18:51

100% mention it to the nursery nurse first, then see how it goes. If it doesn’t improve then involve management

Bumblebee2022 · 31/07/2023 18:51

Jewelanemone · 31/07/2023 18:41

If there are jobs to be done after the children have gone and the nursery are open for children till 6, it should be built in to the staffing rota that staff are working till 6.15/6.30 or whatever. Obviously the nursery won’t want to pay for this, but that’s between the staff and management, the parents shouldn’t be made to feel bad for collecting at 5.50.

Original poster

Engineeringmama · 31/07/2023 18:52

We usually collect about 10-15 mins before, but sometimes it's even earlier too.

Thank you everyone for your comments.

OP posts:

AlexanderArnold · 31/07/2023 18:55

Totally inappropriate comments and, as you say, so upsetting for the child to hear. Log them and discuss with the manager.

YellowReadingLamp · 31/07/2023 18:56

I used to manage a nursery and I would not tolerate any of my staff commenting like this to parents or children. Totally inappropriate and unacceptable.

If the member of staff has issues with their hours or unpaid overtime (having to complete tasks after children have left) then that is on them to address with management - absolutely nothing to do with parents/children.

My concern is she feels this is an appropriate way to speak to parents and children. What else is she saying throughout the day?

As PP have mentioned I'd speak to her about it and if it continues complain to her manager.

FloofCloud · 31/07/2023 19:00

Wet inappropriate ... all of it! Have a quiet word with the manager as it's not acceptable to treat customers or children so poorly

CrackerAndPudding · 31/07/2023 19:01

I would be annoyed too. I'd speak to her first to make sure she knows it's not on, and if it continues complain. Those poor kids hearing her talk about being forgotten and "last".

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 31/07/2023 19:02

Jewelanemone · 31/07/2023 18:41

Then these jobs should be factored in to their working hours ie paid till 6.15 - children collected by 6pm and tidying up, documentation etc in the following 15 minutes. The nursery is open until 6pm so anytime before then is fine to collect. A handover takes me less than a minute - "she's had a good day, eaten all her lunch and snacks, had a 2 hour nap and enjoyed her day at nursery".

OP next time she says this, I'd just look at her with a smile and say "are you desperate to get home?".

Original poster

Engineeringmama · 31/07/2023 19:03

@CrackerAndPudding exactly! Who in their right mind would judge a parent for the time they arrive and then also say something so horrid to the children.

OP posts:

Mariposista · 31/07/2023 19:04

As a punctual, working mum, this would seriously piss me off. If pick-up deadline is 18, and you never overrun, she has no right speaking like this, especially in front of a kid who is old enough to know what 'being forgotten' means. Just because she wants to knock off early, not my problem.

Dombasle · 31/07/2023 19:06

Loudly, "I've paid up until 6 o'clock and I have never been late, yet you always make a facetious comment? Why is that?"

RattleRattle · 31/07/2023 19:06

This reply has been deleted

This user is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

Mummy08m · 31/07/2023 19:08

Today she said to another child ,'ds has gone before you, your mummy must have forgotten you today'.

This is shockingly unacceptable and cruel to the child. Just no excuse for it at all.

Gripe at the parents by all means but to say that to a child?! It's borderline abusive

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