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Original poster

Damaged shoes

46 replies

Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 18:18

Hi looking for a wee bit of friendly advice ! I’m not sure who else to ask , my son has came home from nursery gutted because the new shoes his gran got him on Monday someone has drawn all over them … he told me who it was and it make sense that it was that child he told me he told his key worker but nothing was said during pick up I have tried everything to get strain off it’s completely ruined the shoes and he won’t be able to wear them any where else now , would you expect the mum or dad to pay for a new pair ? I know these things happen but well the long and short of it is it shouldn’t of happened they are going into school so old enough to know better I know if my child done that I’d want to be able to replace the shoes ? Would you ask the nursery what happened or do I just leave it ? Moneys tight and I can’t effort to replace them or I would … that’s why his gran paid for them

OP posts:
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Nsky62 · 03/05/2023 18:22

Can you get them dyed?
what colour are they

Watchthedoormat · 03/05/2023 18:25

I'd definitely ask the nursery what happened. They should have noticed if children were writing on each others’ shoes surely.
I'd expect a new pair of shoes whether from the nursery or the parents.
I'd also expect the nursery to approach the parents about the incident in the first instance.

PrincessesRUs · 03/05/2023 18:35

Just wear them with marks on? My kids come home from nursery with paint on his - he only really has 1 pair of shoes apart from crocs or wellies but he hasn't stopped wearing them. If I stopped using all marked clothes he'd have very little to wear!!!

Gymmum82 · 03/05/2023 18:36

They are shoes. Surely they end up filthy and covered in mud and dirt in the end anyway? Why can’t he ever wear them again with a bit of pen on?

ItsCalledAConversation · 03/05/2023 18:41

Have you tried a wipe over with bleach? It’s annoying but I think you’re being a bit dramatic, it’s marks not like the soles have been ripped off the uppers is it. Of course he will still be able to wear them.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 03/05/2023 18:42

My nursery told me to send DS in wearing attire that I basically don't mind getting wrecked due to messy play, outdoor stuff etc

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 03/05/2023 18:43

I wouldn't expect a new pair from either nursery or the parents, but I would expect the child to be told off and the parents informed.

The shoes are still usable and smart/nice shoes shouldn't be sent into nursery anyways..

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 03/05/2023 18:47

Shouldn't have happened but also you basically can't send anything to school or Nursery that you will be more than a bit miffed about if it gets lost/stolen/ruined.

Skybluepinky · 03/05/2023 18:51

That’s y they tell u to put them in stuff that u don’t mind getting ruined.
Of course I wouldn’t expect them to be replaced.

LIZS · 03/05/2023 18:55

What is the stain and fabric? Wd40 or hairspray may remove marks. Agree you need to send him in things you don't mind getting marked or damaged.

liveforsummer · 03/05/2023 18:58

Agree with all above. Annoying if it's an new and good pair of shoes but I'd not send those in to nursery anyway. More of a problem if damaged but they are still perfectly functional as they are.

HauntedPencil · 03/05/2023 18:59

No I definitely wouldn't expect the other mum or dad to pay for them. If you do have a gripe it's with the nursery for not supervising that closely but as pp said I wouldn't send them to nursery in special things as they do tend to get a hammering.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 03/05/2023 19:02

Why would you send nice stuff to nursery?

Cheap supermarket clpthes and shoes for nursey, nice stuff for outside of nursery

SirChenjins · 03/05/2023 19:06

Can you get some dye for them? Kids do this sort of thing so I wouldn’t expect the other parents to replace them but I’d be pissed off.

alyceflowers · 03/05/2023 19:06

Presumably they've been drawn on with felt tip or pencil? What age are the children - they won't have been using sharpies.
You should be able to just get it off with a wet wipe or at worst hot soapy water.

SainsBrie · 03/05/2023 19:15

I really don’t see how a child drawing with any nursery suitable pen/crayon/chalk could have trashed a pair of shoes that a 3 year old wears. He can definitely still wear them, even if they don’t look as nice as they did.

Tumbleweed101 · 03/05/2023 19:17

We would want to know so we could supervise a child more closely especially if your child knows who. Most pens the children have access to should be washable. We recommend only clothes and shoes that can get messy are sent in as they are using paint, mud and water through the day and do get mucky.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 03/05/2023 19:20

Yeah annoying but lesson learnt. Do ever send them to nursery in nice things. Ever.

He can still wear them for nursery.

Azandme · 03/05/2023 19:22

I must be weird - if I found out my DD had deliberately drawn on another child's shoes, and it wouldn't come off, I'd absolutely replace them - and I'd also be pissed at the nursery for allowing her to have non washable pens, and not noticing her drawing on them.

MissyB1 · 03/05/2023 19:23

Azandme · 03/05/2023 19:22

I must be weird - if I found out my DD had deliberately drawn on another child's shoes, and it wouldn't come off, I'd absolutely replace them - and I'd also be pissed at the nursery for allowing her to have non washable pens, and not noticing her drawing on them.

Same here!

SainsBrie · 03/05/2023 19:29

Not saying it’s right and I’d want to know if my child has done it but I can’t see they’d be non washable pens and the shoes would be unwearable as OP indicates.

Original poster
Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 19:29

Thanks to the kind people that have send HELPFUL suggestions over to the other people sending over sarky comments about you should of known this , you should expect them to get ruined Etc 1 we were never told to send them in old stuff and 2 getting something mucky and someone intentionally ruining another child’s shoes are a HUGE Difference !!! 3 people saying get him a new pair or tough luck why send them in in a new pair … some of us can only afford one pair at a time that’s meant to be able to be used for different events and for a while your living in a dream land

OP posts:
alyceflowers · 03/05/2023 19:32

Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 19:29

Thanks to the kind people that have send HELPFUL suggestions over to the other people sending over sarky comments about you should of known this , you should expect them to get ruined Etc 1 we were never told to send them in old stuff and 2 getting something mucky and someone intentionally ruining another child’s shoes are a HUGE Difference !!! 3 people saying get him a new pair or tough luck why send them in in a new pair … some of us can only afford one pair at a time that’s meant to be able to be used for different events and for a while your living in a dream land

In what way are they ruined though? What were they marked with?

Original poster
Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 19:37

@alyceflowers both shoes one worst than the other are drawn all over the netted material and leather with bright orange pen I have no idea why it’s not coming off Iv tried shout stain remover , fairy liquid wd40 and even bleach on the white part I have no idea what type of pen was used like I said nursery never informed me this happened

OP posts:
ItsCalledAConversation · 03/05/2023 19:39

Sorry OP. It’s shit if this was your only pair. You did ask for advice in your OP, and this is Mumsnet after all, so perhaps you’d have been better asking for people to back you up in your OP, as that’s what you seem to have wanted.
To answer your question then, no the nursery should not be asked to provide a new pair, but you’d be well within your rights to raise it as a complaint. Being scribbled all over by another kid is very frustrating and implies they’re not watching them a closely enough. I’d be more annoyed about that than the shoes fwiw. Hope that’s a response more in line with what you wanted.