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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Damaged shoes

46 replies

Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 18:18

Hi looking for a wee bit of friendly advice ! I’m not sure who else to ask , my son has came home from nursery gutted because the new shoes his gran got him on Monday someone has drawn all over them … he told me who it was and it make sense that it was that child he told me he told his key worker but nothing was said during pick up I have tried everything to get strain off it’s completely ruined the shoes and he won’t be able to wear them any where else now , would you expect the mum or dad to pay for a new pair ? I know these things happen but well the long and short of it is it shouldn’t of happened they are going into school so old enough to know better I know if my child done that I’d want to be able to replace the shoes ? Would you ask the nursery what happened or do I just leave it ? Moneys tight and I can’t effort to replace them or I would … that’s why his gran paid for them

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Backwithanotheroneofthoseblockrockingbeats · 03/05/2023 19:41

The cheapest black plimsolls are your friend here.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 03/05/2023 19:46

Are they trainers? Stick them in the washing machine with some Vanish.

WaitingfortheTardis · 03/05/2023 19:48

The thing is, unless you speak to nursery you only have your very young child's account of what happened and who did it. Keep those shoes for nursery, buy a cheap new pair for other times from Asda or Sainsbury's etc.

RudsyFarmer · 03/05/2023 19:48

A photo might help OP. With pen I’d try running alcohol and nail varnish remover.

RudsyFarmer · 03/05/2023 19:49

*rubbing

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 03/05/2023 19:50

Post a pic if you can but absolutely report to the nursery and ask for an explanation. Kids that young should be supervised more closely

fundhermental · 03/05/2023 19:53

In my sons nursery there was this girl wearing her Burberry dress and it got ruined by paint. The mother was having a go at the key worker and the key worker reminded her that all parents were told at the beginning of the term that all kids should come in wearing weather appropriate clothes they are comfortable in and clothes that they don't mind getting ruined through messy play, food and toilet accidents. Use the shoes as nursery shoes and save the smart/newer shoes for occasions outside of nursery.

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 03/05/2023 19:56

Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 19:37

@alyceflowers both shoes one worst than the other are drawn all over the netted material and leather with bright orange pen I have no idea why it’s not coming off Iv tried shout stain remover , fairy liquid wd40 and even bleach on the white part I have no idea what type of pen was used like I said nursery never informed me this happened

Have you put them in the washing machine?
I did it with my own trainers recently when I got red wine on them!

ChuckMater · 03/05/2023 19:59

You say 'old enough to know better' but this is nursery.. which generally is 0 - 5. How old is the child? Personally I wouldn't send my child in clothes or shoes I wanted to keep nice. It's nursery, where they paint and play and get messy.

Invisimamma · 03/05/2023 20:02

Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 19:29

Thanks to the kind people that have send HELPFUL suggestions over to the other people sending over sarky comments about you should of known this , you should expect them to get ruined Etc 1 we were never told to send them in old stuff and 2 getting something mucky and someone intentionally ruining another child’s shoes are a HUGE Difference !!! 3 people saying get him a new pair or tough luck why send them in in a new pair … some of us can only afford one pair at a time that’s meant to be able to be used for different events and for a while your living in a dream land

I understand op, when my children were toddlers they grew quickly and only had one pair of shoes at a time. I couldn't afford anymore than that and as they grew and needed replaced every few months. I would be really upset if they got ruined unnecessarily as I wouldn't be able to replace them and then worry about my child looking scruffy or people judging me for having him wearing ruined things. I get you.

All you can do is ask nursery what happened and take it from there.

savoycabbage · 03/05/2023 20:04

Try hand sanitiser. Not the alcohol free kind.

MakesMeFeelSad · 03/05/2023 20:05

Well yeah, kids sometimes ruin their clothes at nursery but I've never had one ruin their shoes. Or another kid draw on them

alyceflowers · 03/05/2023 20:05

Somethingwicked9 · 03/05/2023 19:37

If they're trainers then you can put them in the washing machine.

But honestly - a toddler wearing trainers with pen marks on them isn't a problem. I'd still put him in them for nursery, playing in the garden, going to softplay or the shops. The only place they might not be appropriate is a wedding.

potatohead1 · 03/05/2023 20:07

OP it's standard to send them in wearing stuff you accept could get ruined abs the other dc didn't intentionally damage the shoes. they are too young to have intention in that way. They were just a small dc let loose with pens that he shouldn't have been let loose with. You seem to have demonised him. Let me guess. Yours is your PFB right? You will look back in a few years and realise how tiny they are at this age and hopefully feel a little bit shameful that you think this other child is a bad kid.

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 03/05/2023 20:12

@Somethingwicked9 can you post a pic of the shoes?

eatdrinkandbemerry · 03/05/2023 20:30

Fairy washing up liquid (got to be fairy) rubbed in well then thrown in the washer.
I've saved loads of clothes and shoes using this method

HauntedPencil · 03/05/2023 22:26

I only bought one pair at a time, and yes stuff happened to them and they got marked but j didn't go out and buy new ones over some pen marks, I'd just carry in using them.

Original poster

Somethingwicked9 · 04/05/2023 10:02

@potatohead1 the same said child is nearly 6 after his mum has held him back same said child has taken an other child’s new toy this week that they got from birthday and stomped on in until it cracked

this child is the issue it’s not just a child that doesn’t understand they are never happen when someone has something new apparently

OP posts:

HauntedPencil · 04/05/2023 18:34

You asked for some friendly advice as to who would ask for the money or not then got irate with everyone and now this nursery child is 6.

liveforsummer · 04/05/2023 19:23

Somethingwicked9 · 04/05/2023 10:02

Why was a brand new birthday toy at nursery? That's even sillier than brand new good shoes. I'm guessing the fact they are nearly 6 and it's only just May that this child has significant ASN to be deferred outside of the normal age range so probably doesn't 'understand'

jannier · 06/05/2023 08:22

They could have been ruined by water or paint too I wouldn't send children in wearing special stuff

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