Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Don't want to stop contact naps before nursery

33 replies

Jellybeans13 · 20/12/2022 13:25

My DD 11months old, will be starting nursery in mid Jan. At the moment she contact naps and is nursed to sleep. Once I was able to let go of the anxiety that I was doing something terrible by letting her sleep this way, it's actually become one of the favourite parts of my day.

However, I am mindful that with nursery beginning soon I do not wish for her to struggle without me but equally I don't want this last month to be all about forcing her to change her current sleep habits.

I am just wondering what other parents did to prepare their little ones for the transition (if anything)? Did you start sleep training? Change when or how much you breastfed? I've had one friend say that they soon find their own rhythm and not to change a thing but just wondered what other parents experiences had been?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PayPennies · 20/12/2022 13:33

Given that babies are fully capable of happily sleeping in a variety of different ways - if a baby only knows and thus obviously likes X method of sleeping they may also like getting to kniw Y method of sleeping - your ways of looking at this need to consider -

What makes you happy (contact napping and nursing to sleep) versus
What makes your baby happy going forward (presumably this is your baby learning newer and alternative ways of sleeping and having happy bubbly days at her new nursery).

I personally would prioritise No 2 over no 1 and introduce my baby to newer ways of sleeping. This means - Involving others in her bedtimes and naps, helping her understand that it’s entirely okay to be sleeping whilst in the care of non-mum people, helping her discover that she is fully capable to sleeping and staying asleep in a range of other ways.

if you frame this to yourself as opening up a range of options for your nearly-toddler - rather than you sacrificing something for you both - it might help.

Hidingawaytoday · 20/12/2022 13:33

I was the same OP and actually cried on the phone to my mum at one point as I didn't want to give up my cuddles before going back to work... but speaking from experience, don't stress. If you don't want to give up contact naps don't.

My DD started nursery in September, and has napped well there (on a mattress) since day 1. She still contact naps on me when we're at home together (with a bit of bf) or if she's with grandparents/DH she either naps on them or in the cot.

BabyYoZenZen · 20/12/2022 13:34

You don't have to change it!!! Your little one will realise that she's in a different environment and sleeps differently there. At home you can continue to contact nap and nurse no problem!!

MonkeyPuddle · 20/12/2022 13:34

DS contact napped when he was little, he started at nursery at 8mo. He always fell asleep in his nursery nurses arms and then she hug and rolled him into a cot.
I once had to pick him up early and one of the staff was sat on the floor, in a dark room, whale noise playing and patting the bottom of a little one, because that’s how she napped best.
Talk to the staff. I wouldn’t change a thing that you’re doing. I used to love snuffling my babies heads as they slept on me.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/12/2022 13:36

Just do what you want, but if you don't "wean" dd off the contact naps before nursery (totally your choice!) You don't get much room to complain if she's not sleeping enough at Nursery - it's not their fault!

She may just take to it, and be fine. She may need time to adjust. But bear in mind they'll be working with a baby who has very specific nap needs so it'll take time.

Notonyournellykelly · 20/12/2022 13:38

I also don't think you need to change it. They realise nursery is a not home and the nursery staff are not their mum, so they will have to adjust whatever you do! My ds is four now and still does things / eats things at school which he won't even try at home 🙄😂. So they don't see their learning environment the same way they are home

Original poster

Jellybeans13 · 20/12/2022 18:18

Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to respond. It's been helpful to get a sense of other people's experiences and to know its an option to just keep doing what am I doing. I think for the most part it's the unknown, and I can't know how LO will cope without me until she has to but for now I might savour this tiny bit of mat leave we have remaining and be ready to adjust our routine if that seems like what would be best for her.

OP posts:

Tumbleweed101 · 20/12/2022 19:25

I wouldn't stop them, but be aware she may take a while to settle into a new routine at nursery without them. You may have some shorter naps at nursery initially. It also depends how long she will be at nursery. Half days are different to full days if she might be more restless at the difference in sleep routine. Most babies settle within a few weeks to the changes.

On the whole babies quickly learn the difference between mummy cuddles and the care offered by others and adapt quickly. They grow fond of their regular carers at nursery but know who mum is and how the two places are different.

allboysherebutme · 20/12/2022 23:21

I'd change it before nursery start's otherwise it will be very stressful for her two big events at once. X

Juicylychee · 20/12/2022 23:25

It’s not fair to carry on and then send her to nursery where it will be a huge change to her routine. It’s not about you it’s about what’s best for the baby.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 20/12/2022 23:43

DD started nursery full time when she was 9 months old and while at nursery she napped in their floor cots happy as Larry. When at home she napped on me. They do seem to understand that the different environments have different ways of sleeping and they adjust to that.

Kitcaterpillar · 20/12/2022 23:46

Juicylychee · 20/12/2022 23:25

It’s not fair to carry on and then send her to nursery where it will be a huge change to her routine. It’s not about you it’s about what’s best for the baby.

But most nurseries they nap on mats the floor surrounded by other sleeping children or the general chaos of nursery. Unless the OP has a plan to recreate that at home, it's going to be a huge change anyway so why stress about it.

Hugasauras · 21/12/2022 00:00

We contact napped. On DD1's first full day of nursery she went down for a nap on a floor bed no problems. I wouldn't worry.

Cardboardboxandkiddos · 21/12/2022 00:04

Hi OP. I bed-shared with my DS1 and enjoyed contact naps with him until he was nearly 3! He went to a childminders at 16 months and settled very well into a nap routine there.

We had a lovely childminder who put him in his own room on a floor mattress so she could sit next to him to help him sleep until he got used to her environment. Eventually they do just get so tired after a morning of activities they just fall asleep straight away anyway!

We did consider a nursery but ended up with a childminder for a more home from home environment (without the cost of nanny!). My childminder would send me pictures and updates of his nap so I always felt reassured in those initial months.

They do adapt well and I’m sure your DC will be fine in nursery.

Teafor1please · 21/12/2022 00:05

I was so worried about this with my dd and talked it through with the nursery. They said not to worry about it. They are magicians and got her to sleep along with all the other little ones... And then she used to sleep on me at the weekends still!
Those days are now long gone. Miss the sleepy snuggles!

Original poster

Jellybeans13 · 21/12/2022 10:25

We start our setting in sessions at the beginning of Jan so I think like @Teafor1please I will discuss with the nursery and see what they advise.

It'll be a somewhat phased start building up to 3 full days so it should give us about a month to build in routine changes (if any). But for the most part, I agree that it's going to be a big change regardless and will no doubt require a period of adjustment. For now, I think I'm going to revel in the sleepy cuddles. Again, thank you all for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's been reassuring and has helped ease some of the anxiety that has been weighing on me about all this

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 21/12/2022 10:29

I cuddled both mine to sleep and they were fine. My eldest has always been a tricky sleeper (still is at 8) but they had a quiet corner in the room at nursery and she'd take herself off to nap there when she wanted to.

Blixem · 21/12/2022 11:11

DD only contacted napped or at least would only feed to sleep on me. My childminder has her going to sleep on her own in no time! She was the same at nursery. She still refused to do this at home but was fine while in childcare.

pimlicoanna · 21/12/2022 11:46

Oh my gosh please don't stop doing it at home. It's such a lovely thing. Mine were fine at nursery napping the way the nursery did it and we just continued to do contact naps at home.

jannier · 21/12/2022 20:55

In 29 years of childcare it will be harder for lo to adjust unless you have 1 to 1 care and someone who can sit with them. They do adjust it's taken me 5 weeks to get a 1 year old to sleep for an hour they normally have 2 to 3 at home.

LolaSmiles · 21/12/2022 21:04

Don't feel pushed into changing what works at home.

Mine had contact naps at home but we're fine at nursery. Little ones are surprisingly resilient and get used to different routines in different places.

In my experience it's adults who have more trouble accepting this than babies/toddlers. Some adults are obsessed with the idea that you've got to force a baby to be independent from the second it leaves the womb.

JennyWI · 23/12/2022 06:01

could you do bedtime contact sleep but try to transition off of contact at nap so she learns a new way to nap (and you still get cuddles)

PurBal · 23/12/2022 06:04

DS routine is slightly different at nursery. He eats tea at 4 but when he’s at home it’s 6. I think your LO will get used to the fact it’s slightly different. I was feeding only twice a day by the time he was in full time and whilst I contact napped occasionally we had sleep trained.

WandaWonder · 23/12/2022 06:06

I just left the nursery to do whatever routine they did there

Parker231 · 27/12/2022 17:54

We checked with the nursery what their nap system was and followed that in the weeks leading up to DT’s starting. They were six months old and went five days a week.

Flip

1 2