Anyone changed childcare because of constant nursery illnesses?

[LonelyQueen]

DS is 16 months old and has been at nursery for nearly 5 months now. He is booked in for 3 days a week but he misses more than half of his days because of sickness. He is ill every 2-3 weeks. I do send him in with a runny nose/cough and when I keep him off it’s nearly always because of a fever or vomiting/diarrhoea.

Has anyone with a similar experience changed childcare arrangements to a childminder etc? Did things improve? I have no family support and am spending some time apart from DH, so have to constantly take time off work and I’m getting worried about my job. GP assures me that this is normal and DS is absolutely fine.

Is it just that bad for everyone right now because of not mixing during lockdown?

I feel your pain! My dd was the same at that age. Have you considered a childminder? Might be less exposure to bugs depending on the age of the other children

Thank you for your reply. Yes, I have started calling childminders in the area but they are nearly all fully booked until September next year. One lady told me that she sees a lot of sickness bugs in the children she looks after too almost like don’t bother changing childcare because he’ll still be ill all the time.

Don’t bother just for that reason. The minute you change he’ll be exposed to new kids / bugs will emerge and the cycle begins again. If you want to change because your nursery doesn’t give medication that’s a better reason. Pick a nursery where they are allowed to give calpol and prescription medication so you know they only ask you to get them when they’re really unwell. Some farm nurseries also have nurses onsite - that’s a god send as they tend to be more practical about sickness.

My DS is at a childminder who looks after 6 kids, and he's only ever had one sickness bug. Other viruses / temperatures more often, but I don't think he's off as often as other kids who are at nursery. It will depend on the mixing that the other kids in the setting do though - you could be lucky or unlucky, but never know unless you try!

Thanks @RunLolaRun102 I’ll have a look into other nurseries and what their policies are. Just assumed it was standard that they don’t give medication and will ask for pick up.

Thats true @BackOnTheBandWagon and good to know your DS isn’t off sick as often with a childminder.

Yep it's normal.
We found it got better after 6 months.

If your happy with everything else at the nursery I wouldn't see this as a reason to move.

It’s normal and after a few months they stop catching so much. Even new staff catch a lot of illnesses initially while those of us there for years only get ill occasionally.

Main problem is parents sending in poorly children that then pass it to the others in a endless cycle. The policies around illness are mainly there to try and reduce this cycle. So we ask that children aren’t given calpol before arrival. Then we can judge how poorly they are and if they will manage the day, even if they do then need calpol.

For example, a child with an ear infection on antibiotics already we would take in and give calpol because we already know they are being treated and unless they got really unhappy in the day we would
care for them as usual as we know why they need calpol.

A child taken in who gets poorly mid morning with a rising temp would be asked to go home as they were either given calpol at home or getting a illness that needs investigating. We would only give calpol then if the temp was rising sharply as the parent might want a doctor to assess true symptoms.

And to offer some anecdata of my own, my children were also rarely properly sick as toddlers (DC1 in nursery from 14mo, DC2 in a small childminding setting of 1.5 toddlers plus my DC1 after school).

DC1 had a brutal first winter in childcare of endless colds, plus chickenpox at some point. That was about it. DC2 probably had those winter colds spread over a couple of less-brutal winters, and at 5 hasn't yet had the pox.

They're primary school aged now and still rarely get properly ill. They're like me in that regard - lucky immune systems i guess. I think they've each had one or two vomiting bugs in their lives, and DC1 has had one ear infection (whilst at school not nursery).

I think there's a lot to be preferred about a childminder for younger children, but that's a separate question from illness, and I also would think really carefully about moving a child who is settled where they are.

I really sympathise - I am a single parent without family support so I recognise that thing of carrying the full burden of sick days and it never feeling like you can catch a break and put in a good uninterrupted month of work (in spite of hardy immune systems, I've obvs had my share of covid isolation absences to contend with, and DC2's childminder had a period of health problems which made my working life extremely difficult). It's so hard keeping all the plates spinning. But I don't want to give you false hope that a childminder is a sure solution.

This is normal for the first stint at nursery and does settle down. I agree with the pp who said if you start over at a new childcare provider you’ll be starting from scratch. Unless you have any particular concerns about hygiene at the nursery?

I would stick it out for another few months and get DH to step up and take as much parental responsibility as you do. Regardless of whether you’re together or separated as a couple, you are each a parent and he doesn’t get to walk away from that, especially when your employment is threatened.

Jeez I'm surprised at this. I'm a childminder and we have minimal bugs. Often minor colds which we just carry on with. There was one tummy bug this year but this only affected one family (and me unfortunately) and then hand foot and mouth recently which affected 2 children out of 9.

He is booked in for 3 days a week but he misses more than half of his days because of sickness I feel like I'm reading a different OP to everyone else. If this is even partly true, it is far from normal. How would anyone who works hold down a job if so? My children have missed a handful of nursery days between them, not counting covid absence. Either I'd be going back to the GP or questioning if you're keeping him off when you don't really need to. I teach and some parents do keep their children off with the smallest of things (their call, not a problem) and you can really see the difference in those children's attendance figures.

Yes, I've changed from daycare to nanny when my eldest was continuously sick at daycare. He started aged 11 months and we lasted about 3 months. Yes it was more expensive but I never had to worry about my baby getting sick again + our nanny was awesome: we'd come home to a happy baby who had had his nap, clean tidied home and dinner prepped. By the time we tried daycare full time again he was 4 and by then he was just more robust - I don't recall him getting sick at all the second time around.

Ex Nursery Manager here .

This is partly because of exposure to new germs but largely down to parents not following correct advice and guidelines and bringing in poorly children. Often before the 48 hour exclusion guidance for sickness bugs is up. I have heard many excuses and unfortunately some parents will lie through their teeth in order for their child to come to Nursery . I’ve seen it all.

I would also be looking / asking about the Manager about their hygiene practices as a setting: for example, how frequently are they washing the children’s hands/ what is the bathroom area like/ what do they do with hazardous waste/ are staff wearing full aprons/ gloves and cleaning changing areas and following procedures afterwards in maintaining hygiene practices/ is there adequate ventilation in the building/ how frequently are the toys being cleaned etc etc

Good luck.

As well.. how frequently are toys being cleaned.

Are age groups mixing? I would hope not but this can have an impact also- but often will happen first thing / last thing in the day due to staff shortages with people arriving/ going home and ratios etc

I work in early years and this is very normal, as brutal as it is. The medication and sickness policies are also there for a very good reason, there are just far too many parents who will push the limits and hide illnesses to send their children in. The worst example of this that I've experienced was a parent who knew their child had been sick in the night and didn't tell us. The child was then sick with us and one by one over the next 48 hours every child and member of staff began projectile vomiting, some of us while still in the room with the children. It was sudden! We had to close for over a week for deep cleaning and isolation. It was awful. We only knew the child has been sick the night before because grandma told us when she came to pick up because we couldn't get hold of mum and dad.

If you did decide to switch to a childminder, your child may be exposed to less in the short term, but as soon as they start school, they'll catch everything anyway, so essentially you're just delaying the inevitable.

When my two were small, I just tried to take the view that the constant illness was just investing in their future immune systems.

@LargeglassofRosePlease why would you hope that age groups aren't mixing? This is very normal in nurseries, usually in the garden, and so beneficial.

This sounds absolutely horrendous. Absolutely awful and I would have been absolutely livid.

Parents can be ( and are ) incredibly entitled and selfish and this is a horrible example of how they can be. Sadly this often extends onto Primary school as well.

Hence why I am an ex Nursery Manager because whilst the staff and children were lovely, I could not stand many of the parents.

From a H and S perspective ( suitable toys for different ages ). An example of this would be what toys and equipment I would see in the pre school room then I would certainly not expect to see this is the baby room as this wound not be age appropriate- little ones putting in mouths etc

Outside area dependent on size and numbers of children. Again, whilst mixing socially is good. I would be concerned from a H and S perspective if a large group of four year olds were running around and there were toddlers outside at the same time and in the same space. Recipe for disaster as they could get knocked over and a child hurt.

In my 17 years at our Montessori nursery, we've only very, very rarely had an injury with the children mixing in the garden. Each age has their own room, but the garden is open to all. The older children learn to be considerate of younger children and can often be found helping them, the younger children learn skills from watching the older ones. These are children from 6 months to five years. The garden has its own dedicated staff team and ratios are strictly adhered to. It gives a wonderful community feel to the nursery as everyone knows everyone. We, as staff, know all of the children and the children are comfortable with all staff. Maybe other nurseries are different, but for ours, it works really well.

DS started nursery in April I think and was pretty much ill constantly until august. Constant fevers, respiratory infections in particular, constant cough. He was coming out of nursery with snot smeared all over his face, not looking particularly clean, and in the end I changed nursery to a smaller independent that seemed to take hygiene much more seriously.

we then had a run of about two months (usual coughs and sniffles not permitting) until he got tonsilitis before half term then we’ve had a bit of a run of it again with another two viral infections back to back, but it’s been nowhere near as bad as it was.

GP reassured me too that it was normal but said if it carried on past 18 months to two years after starting nursery at this frequency to pop him back in as they might look into it further. Having said that I have friends who are experiencing the same thing still and their children are 3-4!

@Whee im surprised you don’t think this is normal. All of my friends are going through the same with their children at the moment, and some are school age not nursery age. I wouldn’t underestimate the impact lockdowns had on a lot of children, my own little boy didn’t catch so much as a sniffle until he was gone one so is now getting everything.

I think it's normal for kids to get ill. I teach kids, I have kids, I have lots of friends with kids. For her child to be "missing more than half his days" due to sickness cannot be anywhere near normal. If nothing else, you'd never have more than 50% of children in nursery/school at once. The expected attendance rate at school is 97% and the OP is saying her child is at nursery less than 50% of the time.

Childcare settings have a legal duty to prevent the spread of infection hence the sending home. If a child needs Calpol due to a high temperature they are Ill and need to be sent home some settings will dose children and ignore the illness and crying because they put losing business over the health of the children.
A temperature isn't an illness it's a symptom of one so yes Calpol generally lowers the temp but they are still ill and infectious and until recovered will go down hill again in 4 hours in which time they have coughed, licked, runny nosed over everybody and everything....which is why bigger settings get more illness.
More bugs than ever are going around at the moment not just strep A and Covid but slapped cheek, hand foot and mouth, nourovirus, etc.

Thank you for all of your replies. Lots to think about for me but definitely good to hear from others who have changed arrangements and/or have experienced similar.

It’s a very busy nursery, and the baby room is full to capacity. I’ve thought a few times that DS looked scruffy when I picked him up and cleanlinesses wasn’t great but put it down to messy play or playing outside and can’t expect him to look spotless every time.

@Whee I haven’t kept an exact track record of DS nursery attendance but think 50% is a reasonable estimate for the last few weeks. I’ve used all of my holidays for DS sickness absence since returning from mat leave. What I’m hearing from everyone else including nursery staff and GP is that this is normal and to be expected hence my question re alternative childcare.

In a way, yes. It was a big part of our decision to look for a nanny. They are still out and about enough to pick up everything going, and we have a 3 year old to bring everything home eventually, but we have found it paced things a bit through this hard autumn.

Our older one was in nursery and it was pretty much bang on six months of hell, then we had nearly a year clear. 2022 has been hard beyond anything usual, but in ordinary times you do get through it.