Paying for broken window at nurery

[pauamcg]

Hi I would appreciate your views/advice please.

My 4 year old son broke a window at his nursery last week by throwing a train across the room. I believe he was having a bit of a tantrum, but he didn't aim purposely at the window.

When the manager called me to tell me what had happened I questioned whether she expected me to pay for the replacement glass but she said 'No, don't be silly'. When my husband went to pick my son up (before speaking to me) he offered to pay 50% of the cost (mainly because he was embarrassed our son had been naughty) and the manager said 'we'll see'.

Well today we have received an invoice for 50% of the replacement cost.

Do you think I should have to pay this ?
Wouldn't the nursery be able to claim off their insurance ?

Its not really the amount of money & I don't want to fall out with the nursery, its just the principle that I feel that I pay then large enough fees anyway, that I shouldn't really have to pay. my 4 year old was in their care when the accident happened.

My other concern is - shouldn't the window has been fitted with some sort of safety glass so that it shouldn't have broken so easily and put the children at risk ?? Does Ofsted have any guidelines ??

Sorry this has turned out to be a long post, but any views or advice gratefully received.

She has posted some worrying things in the past that I have been very at to be honest.

Makes me wonder 1. what kind of nursery she runs, and 2. What her staff, parents and children are subject to.

I don't think you should pay but it was unfortunate that your dh offered to - and that they accepted the offer. I can understand why you felt you ought to pay given the circumstances.

I think it is disgusting that someone (especially a supposed childcare professional)has assassinated the character of your little boy. He is only 4 yrs old ffs. My ds is obsessed with trains and I could imagine him doing the same thing on impulse (though he has never done it, that doesn't mean he wouldn't).

A separate issue (and I must stress that it is separate as I have no reason to think that there is anything at all unusual about the op's ds) is that if children have tantrums of this kind it may mean that they are not suitably engaged in their nursery. Following behaviour of this kind (unless it's a one off, which in this case it was) I feel the nursery has a responsibility to explore reasons why the child is behaving in such a manner and to look at making environmental changes eg focussed work with the child, rather than writing the child off as a problem.

That last paragraph was for bobby'smum

A 4 year old having a temper tantrum could be subjected to
"a behaviour plan or an IEP would have to be put in place, with one-to-one support for the child if necessary"

I've nothing agaist behaviour plans or IEPs (DS has both) but he needs them!
An attitude like that from one who claims to work with early years children is frightening.

Poor paumcg

I too hope that Paumcg hasn't been put off by someone elses small mindedness

If she had any sense of decency at all, then she would apologise for upsetting Paumcg....but i don't think any of us should hold our breath, as in my experience people like this never see the error of their ways

ok, so a four year old in Bobby's nursery who throws a train as a one off would be deemed to have behavioural issues

for breaking soemthing accidentally

am
and

this is the sort of thing that puts parents of using nurseries!

I think a nursery owner like that needs an individual plan tbh

I couldn't agree more!!

I think I must be reading a set of different posts from Bobbysmum to everyone else!

I found it useful to read the vp of a childcare provider; her view's don't necessarily match mine as a parent, but I can take on board her ideas without resorting to some of the comment on here.

She said it isn't "typical for a four year old to hurl toys across the room in a nursery and certainly not hard enough to break a window." Well, yes true.

BM also said the way she would deal with it it "would depend on whether it was part of a pattern of behaviour" and if it were "a behaviour plan or an IEP would have to be put in place, with one-to-one support for the child if necessary."

She's giving us her professional response regarding protecting her other charges but also to protecting and supporting that child (who would be soon attending school) and explaining the decision-making process she would have to go through.

This doesn't mean this applies to the pauachild's child. She hasn't, I don't think, indicated this is a repeated pattern of destructive behaviour but a one off (and I'm not sure it would make a great deal of difference to my opinion even if it were). And I agree with pauamcg's reluctant decision re paying for the cost of the window but I would still be tempted to have a word with the nursery manager and express surprise, given her earlier converation with you.

UM!!!

Maybe it was very old glass!!!

Can Be brittle you know!!!!

Thoughtful post heated. I agree, there's a huge difference between patterns of behaviour and a one-off. And if any child showed a worrying pattern of behaviour, it would be the DUTY of the professional to put extra support/strategies in place. It wouldnt be about punishing or stigmatising the child, but about supporting them and protecting other children.

completely agree with heated

Hmmmm although if you'd care to consider comments along the lines of 'she's lucky he hasn't been asked to leave' that is only going to get peoples backs up. AND is in breach of equalities, not to mention the National Standards for both the regulation of children's daycare and human decency

I think you'll find the OP was in fact asking for advice ref the possible payment for the broken window.
The upset was in deed caused by some comments which were not thought out before posting, which if you were the parent on the receiving end, i'm sure you would feel angry/upset about aswell!
Every child has the potential to 'lash out' and this does not in any way mean the child is abnormal or need any behaviour management programme. HE IS A CHILD!!!

bobbysmum07-youd give a child an iep for there behaviour-does that not stand for individual educational plan?which is not to do with behaviour surely-its education.and youd give a behavioural plan to a child because they threw something at a window accidently?what would you do in situation which was more serious?call the police?
where is this nursery of yours?im appalled at the things youve said and your attitude towards children-especially as your a childcare worker.do you actually mix with the the children in your care?how old are your own children?im thinking under 4?

Paumcg dont go.i can honestly say you wont find many like bobbysmum on here.

Yes I think paying is the right thing to do and it is very reasonable of the nursery to pay 50%

Heated - did you read the first post sent by bobbysmum? Imo it was way off considering that we were not discussing the child's behaviour, but the issue of paying for replacement glass.

pauamcq ... I am so sorry about this thread. I knew from the off that bobbysmum's comments would have been hurtful to you, as they would have been to any mum.

I can perfectly well understand that your first brush with Mumsnet might well be your last, but I hope you reconsider. Unfortunately, there will always be unpleasant people who pop up. I hope you'll come to understand that the majority of women on this thread have been supportive, and very much on your side.

Your little boy did what countless millions of little boys (and girls) have done before him. My mother used to weep at the windows me and my brother broke in the 70s playing football. Our street was like Armageddon sometimes, and we were much older than your little man.

He broke a window. Your OP was not about your child's accident, but about the issue surrounding payment. I think it's disgraceful that some posters focussed on entirely the wrong target.

Bobbysmum: you've made me very angry. I can only hope that we don't cross paths again, as I have no wish to engage with you.

Desi I completely and utterly agree with you, and feel very sad that we may have lost a lovely MNer

As I do, CSS.

I can't imagine what the OP must have been going through reading such thoughtless drivel about her own child.

I've actually reported the thread to Mumsnet and asked them if it would be possible for them toto make contact with pauamcg.

I'd like her to know that Bobbysmum's comments weren't in keeping with the Mumsnet spirit and to encourage her to come back!

I think you've done the right thing.

imo anyone who thinks that a four year old having a temper tantrum is is unusua,that most four year olds know better "appalling behaviour" and warrants being asked to leave a nursery setting:
a. knows nothing about four year olds
and
b. shouldn't be working with four year olds.

Very well said Harpsi.

pauamcq please don't go. Bobbymum sounds like a loon. I would be amazed if she actually owns or runs a nursery too.

Your son sounds normal. How bizarre for her to suggest that your son needs an IEP for one incident about a child she knows nothing about.

kiskidee-i agree,i have doubts.