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Original poster

Paying for broken window at nurery

153 replies

pauamcg · 25/01/2008 19:03

Hi I would appreciate your views/advice please.

My 4 year old son broke a window at his nursery last week by throwing a train across the room. I believe he was having a bit of a tantrum, but he didn't aim purposely at the window.

When the manager called me to tell me what had happened I questioned whether she expected me to pay for the replacement glass but she said 'No, don't be silly'. When my husband went to pick my son up (before speaking to me) he offered to pay 50% of the cost (mainly because he was embarrassed our son had been naughty) and the manager said 'we'll see'.

Well today we have received an invoice for 50% of the replacement cost.

Do you think I should have to pay this ?
Wouldn't the nursery be able to claim off their insurance ?

Its not really the amount of money & I don't want to fall out with the nursery, its just the principle that I feel that I pay then large enough fees anyway, that I shouldn't really have to pay. my 4 year old was in their care when the accident happened.

My other concern is - shouldn't the window has been fitted with some sort of safety glass so that it shouldn't have broken so easily and put the children at risk ?? Does Ofsted have any guidelines ??

Sorry this has turned out to be a long post, but any views or advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
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yurt1 · 27/01/2008 13:44

I take it bobbysumum has one incy wincy teeny tiny baby (and hasn't come within 5 yards of a perfectly normal male toddler).

I don't think they should have invoiced you (he was in their care, they should have insurance) but given that you offered I think you now have to pay up. Don't offer things through embarrassment next time (unless you are made of money ) If they're a very small business I think its very nice of you to offer etc and perhaps the 'right' thing to do, if they're a big chain then they should be able to swallow the cost more easily than you.

For comparison - I offered to pay for something my son broke at his childminders (she refused) but I wouldn't offer to pay for something at his nursery - which is a reasonable sized business.

Karen999 · 27/01/2008 13:45

Good post Yurt1.

RubySlippers · 27/01/2008 13:45

bobbysmum runs a nusery, Yurt

Buckets · 27/01/2008 13:48

Basic rule if you are in an accident: never admit liability!!!
Your DH was daft to offer but offer he did so he should pay. Learn from the mistake and move on.

yurt1 · 27/01/2008 13:51

I've just discovered Rubysplippers (searched) -believe me my jaw is on floor. She likes McCann threads too

FrannyandZooey · 27/01/2008 13:54

can I also point out that throwing a toy very hard at a window, while not the kind of behaviour we are aiming for with 4 year olds, is NOT the same as throwing a toy very hard at another child

KrippledKerryMum · 27/01/2008 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 27/01/2008 13:57

Kerry that sounds like something entirely different and I'm sure you were upset as well as very cross.

bobbysmum07 · 27/01/2008 13:59

My son got one of his fingers broken when a child in my nursery (a three year old) threw a wooden brick. He didn't throw it far (and he didn't do it on purpose - he was messing about) but he threw it with enough force to do damage.

There wasn't much I could do. It was my nursery and my kid.

If it had been the child of another parent however, they would have gone ballistic. To pretend otherwise is just, well, it's ridiculous.

My point is that a toy train thrown with enough force to break a window could kill a child if it hit them in the head. Most four year olds would know better.

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 14:01

i thikn the glass would have had to be pretty thin for it to be shattered by a train

are you really expecting 4 year olds to not get in a temper?

really?

accidents are part and parcel of children's lives. that is why they are called accidents not on purposes

RubySlippers · 27/01/2008 14:01

Bobbysmum - you have admitted it was an accident that injured your son

if your parents are going ballistic at accidents then they are being unrealistic too

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 14:04

should i have gone ballistic and mental at nursery when DS fell over a cushion, bit through his lip and had to go to A&E?

i think, for someone who works in childcare, you have an unrealistic view of what children are capable of doing to control their tempers and feelings

accidents happen, going ballistic does not make them unhappen!

Karen999 · 27/01/2008 14:04

Bobbysmum- you have just therefore acknowledged the fact that accidents DO happen....your own son was hurt. The OP in this case has a son who threw a train, causing a window to break, but it was also an accident.

My point is, is that accidents do happen especially in a nursery environment and this is why nurseries have insurance.

TigerPants · 27/01/2008 14:04

"Most four year olds would know better".
And you run a nursery?

bobbysmum07 · 27/01/2008 14:05

I don't think I'd feel quite the same if the brick had been hurled across the room by a four year old in a temper, fracturing my child's skull.

I don't think many other people would either.

bobbysmum07 · 27/01/2008 14:07

And it isn't the same. The child hurled the train at the window. The window broke.

Insurance or not, the parents should pay. It's the decent thing to do.

Karen999 · 27/01/2008 14:08

Bobbysmum - nurseries are FULL of children....this is the way some children behave, imo tantrums are not uncommon - especially in a 4 year old....no doubt that the OPs son does know now the damage that can be caused by such behaviour......and will be better equipped to deal with his tantrums in furure...

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 14:08

maybe so

there are degrees of things aren;t there? a broken window is not comparable to a fractured skull

if toys are that heavy they have no place in a nursery

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 14:10

i do not think that parents should have to pay when the child has thrown something, i doubt the child thought

'ill pick up this train, i;ll throw it with all my might, and i'll aim it at that window as i want to break it'

children throw stuff. end of.

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 14:11

where do you draw the line?

paying for snapped crayons

torn books

spilt paint

chipped plate

wear and tear is part and parcel of nursery life

unless there is intent to damage, it is an accident and insurance should cover it

bobbysmum07 · 27/01/2008 14:13

Children of that age don't really throw things. It's only happened a few times that I can recall in my nursery and I've described the consequences of one such incident.

Babies throw things all the time. That's why they don't play with wooden bricks and toy trains.

KrippledKerryMum · 27/01/2008 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 14:15

well, 1, 2, 3, and 4 year olds IME do throw things

if a 2 or 3 year old had thrown the train and accidentally broken the window or smashed something else..how would you have dealt with it?

and am interested to know if you would expect parents to pay for ripped books etc....

bobbysmum07 · 27/01/2008 14:18

Anyway, clearly no one here would offer to pay if their four year old damaged someone else's property in a fit of temper.

I find that pretty disgusting really, but I can't say I'm surprised.

Buckets · 27/01/2008 14:19

Children throw things during tantrums for the sheer physical release of the action or to make a point, not for the purpose of hitting anything with it. The Pre-school Learning Alliance example Behaviour Policy has a clause that says the term 'bullying' is not applicable re under 5s. It suggests that under-5s cannot be held intentionally malicious, although dangerous behaviour must be dealt with appropriately.

My DD was pushed over a couple of times by one little girl at her pre-school - I didn't go ballistic because it could easily have been the other way around, these things happen. Plus I knew the other mum was utterly mortified each time.