Should I keep my toddler off nursery when my new baby arrives?

[Anxiousmumlife]

My 2nd baby is due in October and I am considering keeping my son off from nursery between October and January as a way to limit winter bugs getting in the house with a new born and him restarting properly in January. He is 2 years 3 months old, has settled in to nursery well but I feel I can see what will happen he will just bring back one cold after another and I dont want to be going to the hospital with a new born constantly having chest infections, respitory distress and all sorts. Has anyone else done this?

This sounds like a really bad idea. You will be disrupting your DCs routine, and then as they get used to that you will ship them back off to nursery. All at a time of huge change and upheaval in their life.

Sorry but dc needs to keep to their routine and space. Not all babies who get colds end up in hospital and so to stop your dc attending nursery on a what if is a bit OTT.

I did this because of Covid. It was very, very difficult and I ended up sending him back as soon as I possibly could. It wasn’t a good set up for any of us.

Yes of course people manage etc etc, but I found it impossible to rest or focus on either of them properly.

Toddler at nursery gives you time with baby (or to nap!) And gives them an energy outlet.

Absolutely do not do this! You will be focused on your newborn and then have a bored toddler to chase after when all you want to do is sit on the sofa. Keep him in nursery and accept the odd cold is inevitable.

I’m doing the opposite and actively keeping my toddler with the childminder (though reduced hours) when baby comes, so they have some space for themselves away from new baby, so I can get a bit of rest and hopefully the odd nap with baby too. I know the illnesses are stressful, but unless you’re not going to leave the house with your toddler for months you’ll encounter some whatever

No, this is a very bad idea. Your toddler needs normalcy.

It would be quite unusual for a baby to get that sick from normal toddler illnesses. Are you planning to breastfeed? That will help.

Ok thank you for the replies. I was asking for opinions. I am still new to all this so just wanted advice but some of your responses are more critical and a bit patronising tbh. I have considered my sons needs, my son was a summer baby so I was just a bit worried about having a winter baby this time. Hopefully some of you could be a bit more understanding if you spoke to someone in person.

The thing you'll find about having two kids is that your toddler's needs will be much more acute than your baby's. It's pretty much the exact opposite to how you'd imagine.

No that's a daft idea.

If you come to Mumsnet with a query, expect unvarnished truthful replies - perhaps you feel they are critical or patronising, but the best course is to soak up the wisdom and don’t take it personally.

Nooo definitely send toddler to nursery. It'll be your only chance to snuggle with newborn uninterrupted. Toddler may not get ill but if they do, and baby does, that's par for the course and it will happen eventually anyway so try not to worry about it! My baby has been ill for a month and toddler didn't even have a sniffle so it can't have been passed from toddler to baby.
You will appreciate some quiet time with your newborn and your toddler will appreciate some fun time at nursery 🙂

Honestly that's not a great idea. Plus February and March are still bug magnet months

My winter baby caught a cold from his big sister as a newborn and it wasn’t a big deal. We had a snot sucker thing to clear his nose and he was over it in a few days. No need for the GP let alone a hospital visit. I wouldn’t have even considered pulling the toddler out of nursery because it’s so important to them to have their routine, socialisation and stimulation. And selfishly it made my life much easier too!

Nooo don't do it OP. My two are 2 years and 4 moths apart. We ended up having to have DC1 at home full time when DC2 was born due to childcare closing in the first covid lockdown.

DC1 was very jealous. DC2 screamed every time I put him down then DC1 screamed because he didn't like the screaming. DH was having to try and WFH due to lockdown and the whole house house became like a pressure cooker of frayed nerves. DC1 was just miserable until we got him back into nursery, and then he was like a changed toddler

Granted, DC2 didn't get any respiratory infections when tiny but was then hospitalised with severe bronchiolitis at 15 months after starting nursery, because he was a lockdown baby and no immunity to anything (that's actually what paediatrics said).

I hope you don't take this as critical or patronising, it's honestly not, it's just that period of time with us all stuck at home with a screaming newborn still haunts me a bit tbh and I'd hate someone else or go through it.

I agree with keeping the routine - healthy for all of you and gets baby in a good routine having to do school runs etc.

During covid with a new baby in the house I did do an early bath and straight into pjs as soon as my daughter got home - it needed doing anyway and I thought it was a good chance to minimise any germs on her! You can’t control everything though, you will get germs, try not to stress about and enjoy your babies :)

OP I had my DS last January, DD was in reception. DS didn't catch anything from DD despite her being at school every day.

No, don't take him away from all of his friends and routines! Plus you'll be glad of the time to focus on one child at a time.

Save your sanity and send him in!

Keep sending the toddler to nursery.
And make it a positive thing for him - what a shame, the new baby is too little to go to nursery with the big kids, poor mum having to stay at home with the boring baby all day while he gets to go and do exciting big boy things etc etc.

Agree with everyone else - toddler needs the routine and you’ll need the break. We’ve brought DD’s nursery days down to 2 per week while I’m on maternity (to save money while on SMP, she’s usually there 4 times a week) and juggling newborn DS and 2yo DD is so bloody challenging, he’s a limpet baby and she’s needing more and more stimulation every day. Her two nursery days are my sanity! And unless you keep newborn wrapped up and never leave the house they’ll pick up bugs, it’s totally normal.

Ive not read the other replied, but the answer is definitely not. A routine is good for your son and for the baby.

Now saying that I had a baby in December and by June this year she’s had covid, a serious cold and chickenpox. I still don’t regret it though, it was the best decision for us as a family.

Should say *replies

You're being over sensitive. No one has been rude or patronising, they've given honest opinions.

Try Netmums maybe?

Of course you can be at home with both children if you want to be. Women have done it for generations. You will likely have less illnesses which will be nice. However don't be afraid to do nursery if it's better for you.