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Original poster

Saw a nursery staff be mean to my son

43 replies

Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 13:39

Today I picked my son up and before I opened the door there was a window you can see into the room through. I had a feeling he didn’t like this particular lady as every time I drop him when she’s there he cries. This is his 3rd nursery he’s 2 the other 2 before this one it took him 3 weeks to settle he’s been at this one for 3 months.

anyways going back to the story I saw her tell him off very harshly she was pointing at him and wasn’t looking at him nicely it was very harsh. He was about to cry. As I opened the door she took a toy from him and he saw me started crying she then turned her moody face into a fake smile and said oh mummy he was just crying cause he saw you.

I said did you just take a toy from him and she’s like sorry what did you say by that time I grabbed him as he was crying badly and then she said to me oh do you want me to check his nappy! Which she never says.

I walked out as I was so shocked and upset angry all of it I didn’t want to lose my temper and when I took him home he was in a poo.

now before anyone says oh maybe it’s because of this that I used to work in a nursery for years and you can tell which staff enjoy working with kids and which don’t and this one clearly isn’t kind. That’s why I left the field because I stopped enjoying it.

now my issue is I have a temper and don’t know how to communicate I want to ring the manager and inform her but really id like to change him nursery

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Original poster
Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 13:40

Oh also I noticed he had something on his leg which has made me paranoid

Saw a nursery staff be mean to my son
OP posts:
sjxoxo · 09/08/2022 13:42

I think you could speak to the manager - do they have CCTV? Ask to see it. Sounds to me like you are already a big suspicious of this particular staff member and on that basis I would say to the manager that you don’t want her to be involved With your son and if that’s not possible I’d look to change nurseries x

Kittykat93 · 09/08/2022 13:43

I'd be ringing up the nursery and arranging a meeting before sending him back there. Do they have cameras?

bellamountain · 09/08/2022 13:44

If in your words it was very harsh and you didn't feel comfortable absolutely complain. Also if your son is struggling at nurseries, I would really start to look for a recommended childminder instead. I don't like nurseries for lots of reasons (I know there are some lovely ones however).

MarshaMelrose · 09/08/2022 13:51

You want to move on to a 4th nursery and he's only 2? Is this because you keep moving so he has to as well. Or is it over concerns about him. Maybe a different kind of care system would be better for him? I don't think I could send him back to a place where I'd always be worried he was being treated badly - even if in reality that wasn't the case.

girlmom21 · 09/08/2022 14:01

Please call the nursery. Tell the manager what you saw and about the dirty nappy and that she clearly knew he was dirty or she wouldn't have offered.

Don't move him away if you don't have to. Why did he leave the other two?

Original poster
Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 15:31

Hi no First nursery I changed because we moved then the second one I had to change as he was in term time only and I wanted to change him to all year round.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 15:31

I did want to ring but im
so angry and upset right now I don’t know what will come out of my mouth and no cameras there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 15:32

I will on Friday I want to ring but I don’t know what to say I rather see her face to face he’s in next on Monday then I can actually show her what happened

OP posts:
Original poster
Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 15:34

First one because I moved area and then second one he was in term
time only and when I wanted to change him to full year placement they didn’t have space. He’s a confident child he’s my second he’s fine he enjoys meeting new people he’s not timid so that’s how I knew there was something about this new one he didn’t like and I knew it was this lady

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MarshaMelrose · 09/08/2022 15:35

Could your partner speak to them about it in the first instance if you're worried about your temper?

girlmom21 · 09/08/2022 15:46

If you call today it gives them chance to investigate and move staff around if they need to so she's not with him. It gives DS the best chance and gives the nursery a fair chance.

Seraphina1993 · 09/08/2022 16:03

Get him out of that nursery and/or raise it as a serious safeguarding complaint with her boss.

You witnessed her shouting at him and then lie about it. What else does she lie about?

People like that have always got a story, a front. She's clearly got something to hide and you caught her red handed when she thought you weren't looking.

Trust your gut.

SequinsandStilettos · 09/08/2022 16:05

Childminder instead?

Danikm151 · 09/08/2022 16:18

Send an email detailing your concerns and ask for them to be addressed.

i told my son’s nursery how I heard a member of staff talking to the children like shite and if she does that in front of parents what is she like when there’s no parents. same staff member was present when he had 2 accidents resulting in a&e. She just doesn’t care about children.
He starts his new nursery in a couple of weeks.

RosiePosie27 · 09/08/2022 18:59

Trust your instincts. I had a similar incident with a TA at my DS’s school - the TA is disgustingly fake and my son said she grabbed him around his waist and he was sobbing but she denied it. I could tell she was lying and was all like “oooh come on, I’m sorry if you thought I did that”?!! I flagged it with Head and she will not be near my son again. Please OP, tell the manager and do not let that woman around your child.

MarshaMelrose · 09/08/2022 19:16

The thing is, though, it doesn't matter what the manager says, you'll never trust that member of staff near your son. So is it viable in that nursery for a member of staff to be always kept away from him? Because if not, won't you always worry about it happening again?

HSKAT · 10/08/2022 08:46

I wouldn't wait until next week tbh, the question always is, why didn't you bring this up sooner.
Calm yourself down or get your DH to ring.
I would be questioning it myself

Summerlols · 10/08/2022 08:50

I'd pull the poor kid out and get a childminder. This sounds awful. Well done for catching her in the act. I'd want a full explanation from the manager too.

Summerlols · 10/08/2022 08:53

And write your concerns in an email to the manager so you can get a paper trail.

HSKAT · 10/08/2022 09:01

Summerlols · 10/08/2022 08:53

And write your concerns in an email to the manager so you can get a paper trail.

And 100% this

Original poster
Shazz313 · 12/08/2022 07:31

Hey guys sorry I wasn’t getting notifications of messages received. UPDATE-

I send a email and then the manager rang me, she told me she saw everything that happened she told me what she saw before I even told her as she was watching the cctv.

she saw exactly what I saw that the staff member snatched something out of my sons hand which was a red pen. She said she reprimanded her and said how you stood over him pointing at him telling him off was not nice he was scared. She also said she’s been trying to deal with this staff member because as the way she handles the children is like how you would tell your child off at home.

im still not happy I want to move him I’ve paid for this month and thinking to hand the notice in next week. I already contacted another nursery will
view It on Monday. She also said to me today when I drop my son the staff member wants to speak to me but I don’t want her dealing with my son I caught her red handed!

im just fed up

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Ikeatears · 12/08/2022 07:38

I think you're doing the right thing. The manager sounds ineffective. If she saw everything and knew you'd left upset, why did she wait for you to contact her? If she already has concerns about this member of staff, that's for her to deal with. You shouldn't have to feel anxious about your son being around her when even the manager has ongoing concerns.
I would move him. This will be the top of the iceberg with a manager like that.

jammiewhammie65 · 12/08/2022 08:14

I think the manager has given her a warning that this isn't acceptable and she will know she is being monitored now. It probably wasn't a sackable offence but she has been called out on it quite rightly so and I would think she would be sacked if it happened again. I wouldn't have any qualms about leaving him there now as I think it's been dealt with and the manager is aware.

Original poster
Shazz313 · 12/08/2022 08:36

Yh I’m going to see how it goes. She basically was saying to me the manager that this woman doesn’t understand she wasn’t born here and she’s older. I knew he didn’t like this lady I know my son he is confident he settles well. But here he hasn’t. And I said no you don’t behave that way with a 2 year old you said yourself he looked scared. The problem is some of these nursery workers don’t enjoy working with kids they do long hours and don’t get paid enough. There’s no excuse for being mean or over assertive with kids ect treating them badly but this is a problem everywhere half the staff don’t want to be there. It’s a messed up system.

dont even want to see her fake face her true colours were shown how can you be scolding my son then when I open the door your smiling like a Cheshire Cat lol.

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