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Original poster

Saw a nursery staff be mean to my son

43 replies

Shazz313 · 09/08/2022 13:39

Today I picked my son up and before I opened the door there was a window you can see into the room through. I had a feeling he didn’t like this particular lady as every time I drop him when she’s there he cries. This is his 3rd nursery he’s 2 the other 2 before this one it took him 3 weeks to settle he’s been at this one for 3 months.

anyways going back to the story I saw her tell him off very harshly she was pointing at him and wasn’t looking at him nicely it was very harsh. He was about to cry. As I opened the door she took a toy from him and he saw me started crying she then turned her moody face into a fake smile and said oh mummy he was just crying cause he saw you.

I said did you just take a toy from him and she’s like sorry what did you say by that time I grabbed him as he was crying badly and then she said to me oh do you want me to check his nappy! Which she never says.

I walked out as I was so shocked and upset angry all of it I didn’t want to lose my temper and when I took him home he was in a poo.

now before anyone says oh maybe it’s because of this that I used to work in a nursery for years and you can tell which staff enjoy working with kids and which don’t and this one clearly isn’t kind. That’s why I left the field because I stopped enjoying it.

now my issue is I have a temper and don’t know how to communicate I want to ring the manager and inform her but really id like to change him nursery

OP posts:
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Original poster
Shazz313 · 12/08/2022 08:37

Yes I agree

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/08/2022 08:42

I would seriously reconsider moving him if you have a manager there who's so efficient to be honest

Psychgrad · 16/08/2022 09:27

Speak to the manager and file ofsted complaint.

i worked in nurseries before and this behaviour is all too common in nurseries I’m afraid. Staff and managers can be like this, I’ve seen it time and time again. Can you get a nanny? That way you can hire someone who meets your values and your child has 1:1 attention, they can go outdoors when they like, to playgroups to meet other children. or childminder could work too.

Psychgrad · 16/08/2022 09:28

The reason I say ofsted report is because it’s likely plenty of the other staff are like this too/

NurseryNurse10 · 19/08/2022 23:18

@Psychgrad is right sadly.
I see this behaviour from staff so often in nurseries. I would seriously consider a nanny or childminder. I'm sorry you and your child experienced this x

Thornethorn · 26/08/2022 14:09

I know just the sort of staff member you mean. Unless he's in a different room to her, I would personally take him out. You wouldn't be around a bully by choice in adulthood.

Tessabelle74 · 06/12/2022 23:12

Your poor son is on his third nursery and you want to change him again? The common thread here is you OP. Leave the poor boy to settle, no wonder he's upset, he just starts finding his feet and you whip him off to another nursery over some imagined slight!

Shazz313 · 07/12/2022 07:32

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Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 07:35

@Shazz313 niceiy proving my point. You clearly have an attitude problem and as such expect everyone else to, yes the lady could have been kinder, but maybe your son had been asked nicely several times and the lady momentarily lost patience, happens to the best of people. Your poor son will never settle if you drag him from setting to setting for every little perceived issue YOU have

cherriegarcia · 07/12/2022 07:42

Do they have a behaviour policy? Usually nurseries and schools have a written plan for what staff are supposed to do when children are not behaving. Find out what it is. It might be on the website or otherwise you should ask the manager for a copy.

It will likely say something about using a gentle, calm tone and child friendly language - not looking angry and wagging your finger.

You would then have a case to take to the manager and say I don't think this staff member is following the behaviour policy, please can you do something about it.

Complain and keep complaining.

I would say that with your son having moved so much, I wouldn't move him over this one incident, but if you've spoken to the manager and it happens again then it's time to start thinking about it.

The truth is though, nurseries are struggling to get decent staff, so it is also good to know how to address these issues head on - as you could move him and something similar happen again. I would definitely say try tackling it with them first.

Motnight · 07/12/2022 07:44

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😮

Fleabigg · 07/12/2022 07:48

Yikes. The staff member’s behaviour sounds unacceptable. This also seems to be a “you” problem judging by your aggressive replies. Best of luck finding future childcare who you don’t get “in a temper” with.

jannier · 07/12/2022 07:57

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Wow this comment just changed my mind I can now see why you were worried about loosing your temper.....

Anyway what did you decide to do ? Is your lo settled now

EarringsandLipstick · 07/12/2022 07:58

Tessabelle74 · 06/12/2022 23:12

Your poor son is on his third nursery and you want to change him again? The common thread here is you OP. Leave the poor boy to settle, no wonder he's upset, he just starts finding his feet and you whip him off to another nursery over some imagined slight!

It's worth noting this thread is from August! (Unearthed I'd imagine due to MN stupid 'threads like this' function)

MolliciousIntent · 07/12/2022 08:01

Tessabelle74 · 06/12/2022 23:12

Your poor son is on his third nursery and you want to change him again? The common thread here is you OP. Leave the poor boy to settle, no wonder he's upset, he just starts finding his feet and you whip him off to another nursery over some imagined slight!

Why have you resurrected a thread months old to have a swipe at the OP? If you'd bothered to read her replies you'd have seen that the previous moves were logistical and completely unrelated to the OP's behaviour. I'm not surprised she responded harshly, your comment was baseless, nasty and completely unnecessary.

Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 09:05

@MolliciousIntent of course I didn't realise it was a zombie thread, like most people I have better things to do than trolling through old threads 🙄 and as her comment has now been removed, it would appear I hit a nerve with my comment. She massively overreacted at the time, and again with her comment to me so I stand by my assessment of her

MolliciousIntent · 07/12/2022 09:22

Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 09:05

@MolliciousIntent of course I didn't realise it was a zombie thread, like most people I have better things to do than trolling through old threads 🙄 and as her comment has now been removed, it would appear I hit a nerve with my comment. She massively overreacted at the time, and again with her comment to me so I stand by my assessment of her

But your initial comment was baseless - she hadn't moved him previously for "imagined slights" she moved him for perfectly understandable logistical reasons. It was a nasty swipe designed to make her feel bad about herself, and you obviously managed it, given her reaction. I hope you're pleased with yourself.

Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 11:45

@MolliciousIntent as my comment hasn't been removed, I'll take it it wasn't that offensive. I'll stick by my comment despite YOUR attempt to shame ME, so let's get you off that high horse shall we sweety?

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