Major Mum Guilt this morning :(

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I feel so awful this morning. My DS (10 months) has been unwell for a few days with a bad virus and it was at it's peak over the bank hols. He seemed to perk up last night apart from a stuffy nose etc so I got all his bags ready for nursery and got all my stuff ready for work.

This morning he woke up and sounded and looked awful and didn't have much of an appetite. He wasn't ill to the point of needing a Doctor but you could see in his eyes he was run down and very grumpy and clingy. However, we decided to go ahead and send him to nursery as I had already missed a day's work staying home with him last week and I only work 3 days and I'm behind on my work as it is. He looked so sorry for himself being dropped off and I feel awful for taking him, but I need to work.

Am I just being a bit sensitive here as I have this awful feeling of guilt eating away at me while I am sat at my desk trying to work. :( Should I have stayed home with him?

If you have a forgiving employer.

Thank you to all of you who have expressed your opinions and taken the time to comment. Bit of a mixed bag of comments but the majority of you think that I shouldn't have sent him in. I will learn from this and make a better judgement next time. I did call the Nursery a couple of hours after dropping him off and they said he seemed a bit under the weather but well enough to stay but that they would call me if he took a turn for the worst - so far so good :)

Ah I see. Then in that case ignore my last post if he's not actually that ill really.

It's not your fault, it's the shitty welfare system. Other countries manage perfectly well to afford parents the time off they need with sick kids without the economy falling to pieces. You're doing your best.

Even if you have an unforgiving employer. If your child is too sick they are too sick and someone else, either a parent or if you're lucky a friend or relative will have to look after them.

Welcome to MN OP where people think you can stay off every time your kid is ill and your boss just has to understand. In the real world it doesn’t work like that and mums sometimes have to make choices they would rather not. The fact you feel bad shows how much your hands were tied - you need your job. Without it you can’t put money in the bank and food on the table. Many would have done the same as you. It’s not like you left him in daycare ill to go on a spa day!

The nursery have said he’s ok, so try not to worry. It’s really tough and I’m sure you’re doing a fabulous job. Get used to parent guilt. I still get it and my eldest is nearly 40 😂

Seriously? Wow. That's like the advantage they have over nurseries supposedly. I'd be finding a different childminder! The nursery sounds great.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't say that!

Agreed times 1000 @Mariposista

It's hard. And like it or not, Dad's generally don't take the time off! Mums do.

@Simbaya teaching is really very unforgiving of days off, but it’s just necessary. I was a single mum of twins so it happened a fair bit. It’s just not something I expected when I had my first baby(s) so wasn’t really prepared for it!

If I was your employer I'd be more worried that you're spending so much of your time on Mumsnet.

Of course you should have kept him off. Dear me.

You made the right call. He's fine! Stop worrying. Extra cuddles this evening. x

Aw. Always lovely to see the resident parent judge entering.

Aww don't worry, we've all done it.

If he seemed too poorly then they would ring you to come and collect him.

You're not alone in having done this!

Crikey! You've had a hard time! Wow. Hat off to you. I know the pressure teachers are under.

BTW I'm genuinely being sincere. Honestly, I think you're brilliant.

he has a cold fgs

Exactly. Being a first time mum, the OP didn't use appropriate language to describe this serious condition apparently. A condition which even his nursery doesn't find worrying.

She explained that she was a FTM in the OP. A little bit of understanding about Mum guilt, parent guilt, panic, worry or fear wouldn't go astray on this supportive site.

Honestly OP, don’t worry. If the nursery are happy to keep him, then he is well enough to be in nursery (assuming you have a responsible nursery).

Good news nursery haven't rung, that's a good sign.

I would just check in at lunchtime to see how his is.

I'd also get into the habit now, whilst he is little, taking turns taking with DH to take the day off to care for him when he is sick. It improves how you come across to your employer and, effectively, it doubles the amount of time you can have before it starts to feel problematic.

Sorry. 😂

Agree.
Poor Dc.
I would also be cross ,if infact, your child is contagious too and others at nursery become unwell.

Reading the subsequent posts I think OP just wanted to hear posters in agreement, I don't think she was expecting everyone to say they'd have kept him at home 😂

When you make a call on whether to lose income, potentially lose your job or whether your first baby with a cold is fit to go to nursery, yes. You do ask for some sort of support of your choice.