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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Nursery - babies sleeping in main room?

71 replies

Cafeaulait27 · 22/04/2022 11:41

I went to a lovely nursery for a visit and we were really impressed with it all. Lovely garden, lovely spacious rooms, seemed very well managed and nice staff. I was really pleased to see a quiet, dark sleep room where they play white noise or music for the babies and they say they adhere to their routines for naps and there is always a staff member in the room with them while they nap rather than monitors.

We left thinking it was really great, but then I thought if it’s 3 babies with 1 adult what happens if one needs a nap but the others don’t, so I emailed to ask. The manager said that usually the babies sleep in the main room if that happens. I said so do you generally find that the babies all nap around the same time? She said ‘With regards to the sleep, all babies have their own routines. Lots of the babies sleep very well in the main room but some sleep better in the sleep room. If there is a group of babies all sleeping at similar times, they usually go into the sleep room.’

I find this a bit weird. Surely the babies should always nap in a sleep room? I’m not sure what our boy will be like by the time he goes at 1 year, but at the moment he needs to be in his cot with white noise and darkness. He would never be able to switch off in the main room and would probably get upset.

is this the norm due to adult/baby ratios? I feel like she made it sound like they always nap in the sleep room, but when I probed further about how that actually works it turns out mostly they actually don’t use it?

im feeling very confused. They bang on about doing exactly what you do at home but I feel like something as important as sleep shouldn’t be like this? It just seems wrong to me…

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whosaidth1 · 22/04/2022 12:15

Its not weird. That's how its done in most nurseries. You can never get all babies to sleep at the same time, they're not robots. Don't think it will be any different from another nursery. The legal ratio is 3:1 and they will do whatever they need to do in order to meet that legal ratio; even if that means babies sleeping in the main room.

We moms are always so worried about nursery, I was the same and I quickly realized I have little to no control of how they do things over there. It will NEVER be the same as what its like at home. As long as my kid is safe and well looked after, that's all that matters TO ME.

Original poster

Cafeaulait27 · 22/04/2022 13:47

its not that I’m expecting all babies to nap at the same time, but I was expecting sufficient cover so that if a baby wanted to nap they could always use the sleep room. If not, I’m not sure what the point of it is?

OP posts:

Hugasauras · 22/04/2022 13:51

Nursery sleep and home sleep are totally different. Nursery are wizards with sleep IME. When I sent DD, she was a contact napper in dark room. On her first day she went to sleep on a floor bed with other kids in the room. Baffling!

Generally the kids fall into a standard napping schedule at nursery too so they do end up sleeping at roughly the same time.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Beees · 22/04/2022 13:51

Totally normal in a nursery for children to be asleep in the main room whilst others play or do quieter activities.

Even those children who need to sleep at home in a silent pitch black room or with a certain sleep sound app playing and the temperature set just right will sleep amongst the chaos and noise at nursery.

whosaidth1 · 22/04/2022 13:58

Cafeaulait27 · 22/04/2022 13:47

It can't and won't always be like this i'm afraid...It's a something you just have to live with. Like PP said you'd be surprised at how much little ones don't even care about sleeping in dark rooms etc...

Original poster

Cafeaulait27 · 22/04/2022 14:09

Ah ok, thanks for clearing that up for me! I’m a nursery novice. Just seems sad that they have these lovely sleep rooms that don’t get much use!

OP posts:

Tanith · 22/04/2022 14:19

What you see when you look around any nursery or school is their best behaviour/practice. It will not always be like that.
Parents are sold an ideal and are inevitably disappointed when perfection isn't forthcoming. These establishments know the type of parents they want to attract and how to appeal to them.

What you were subsequently told is their actual policy. That lovely sleep room, with its white noise and music is designed to sell the nursery to parents. They might use it when they can, but obviously can't sustain it all day, every day.
They may even use it rarely, or not at all.

Smurf123 · 22/04/2022 14:19

@Cafeaulait27 dd has had some settling in sessions and they have managed to get her to sleep for almost 2 hours in the middle of the day! She'd never do that at home. They do have a general sleep time after lunch about 12 and dim the lights etc some might sleep in the sleep room but sometimes she's had a short nap outside that time too and they have said they let her sleep in their big pram in the main room. Tbh that's fine with me she's never napped in a cot during the day before anyway as her brother has preschool in the middle of the day so we are out of the house a lot. I do think they find their own wee routine at crèche. Mine did say the babies are more as and when suits them for sleep but the toddlers all have a set sleep time from 12-2

Pyri · 22/04/2022 14:26

but at the moment he needs to be in his cot with white noise and darkness. He would never be able to switch off in the main room and would probably get upset.

Nurseries operate on some kind of sleep witchcraft whereby the babies go to sleep perfectly for them in a way they just don’t at home. I remember also (slightly patronisingly probably!) told the staff that my baby needed white noise, blackout blinds, her dummy, a specific mattress etc etc. They smiled very indulgently then put her down to sleep on a floor mat in the bright light and she slept just fine!

AnotherNC22 · 22/04/2022 14:27

DD (10months) has just started nursery. At home, it's dark room, white noise, sleep sack etc. Lots of contact naps too. At nursery, they don't even have a sleep room - all the cots are just in the main room. The first day, she slept about 10mins in total 😫 but shes on day 4 now and is up to a good 45mins in the am, 45mins in the pm. I was warned it might take 2 weeks to settle into her usual routine. So far, it hasn't affected her naps on her days at home, other than needing a slightly earlier bedtime on the days she's in nursery.

whosaidth1 · 22/04/2022 14:35

Pyri · 22/04/2022 14:26

but at the moment he needs to be in his cot with white noise and darkness. He would never be able to switch off in the main room and would probably get upset.

This!! I don't know how they do it. My almost 3 year old takes a 2 hour nap every time he's at nursery But never once naps for me when he's at home! I asked one of the ladies at nursery what's the secret haha

FelicityPike · 22/04/2022 14:37

I’ve been an early years practitioner for roughly 25 years and have never known a nursery that has a separate sleep room.

ellesbellesxxx · 22/04/2022 14:47

There is a picture of my daughter’s first nap at nursery: in the main 0-2 room on a dog bed 😁(used for play, not for actual play)
no sleeping bag (I soon stopped sending those in!) just magicked to sleep! My son was asleep in their sleep room but my daughter had FOMO.
in the 2-3 room, between 1230 and 230 they would all be asleep on mats next to each other.. absolutely amazing.

IamChipmunk · 22/04/2022 14:51

Another one to say they will probably just sleep regardless of what happens at home! My ds would only sleep covered up being pushed in his pram til he was about 18m old. At nursery he slept on a mat on the floor in the main room like everyone else!! On occasion they would need to rock him or cuddle him a bit but they never had the palaver we had at home with him!
He started nursery at 7m and had 2 naps at home but just had one big one at nursery, he always adapted fine between a nursery and home routine.
Same with a bottle. He was ebf and wouldn't have a bottle at home, even if I was out. Day 3 of nursery and he was fine with his bottle of expressed milk!

ShadowPuppets · 22/04/2022 14:58

DD was at a small nursery which had a separate sleep area in the baby room (black out blind, white noise, monitor and staff checking every 5 mins - there were only 6 babies in that room/2 staff members so presumably easy to do).

When she moved up to the toddler room at 15 months I was slightly horrified at the prospect of her having to nap in the main room on a mat with the other kids making a racket around her as she’s usually an atrocious napper even with all the bells and whistles!

Within a week I realised that she wasn’t waking up to background noise any more. Major pluses of this are 1) when she’s asleep at home we can flush the toilet to our hearts’ content 😆and 2) if she falls asleep in the car now she stays asleep even when I turn off the ignition! So it’s saving me £££ in petrol from when she needs to nap and we’re on the way back from somewhere.

honestly, as others have said. Nursery staff are wizards for sleep - your little one will be fine!

Floydthebarber · 22/04/2022 15:00

As a PP has said, nurseries are sleep wizards. They could get dds to lie down and sleep at regular times in a way they never would at home.

NerrSnerr · 22/04/2022 15:34

My eldest never slept when the others did (and they didn't force it). They had a 'quiet area' in the corner and she'd take herself off to sleep when she fancied it.

NerrSnerr · 22/04/2022 15:35

I had forgotten that she'd stopped napping at nursery when she was about 2.5 but when she started reception she did the same, during free play after lunch she'd take herself to the reading corner for a quick nap!

Dontjudgeme101 · 25/04/2022 07:22

FelicityPike · 22/04/2022 14:37

I’ve been an early years practitioner for roughly 25 years and have never known a nursery that has a separate sleep room.

I have worked in several nurseries with 32 years of experience and in all of those nurseries, they had a separate sleep room, which were used daily.

Lem0nDrizzle · 25/04/2022 07:35

I had this worry op as my son needs silence to sleep.
Nursery are magic sleep workers, he now puts himself on sofa in the main room and goes to sleep.

Original poster

Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 07:11

Thanks all, it’s interesting to hear that it’s the normal thing for them to be in the main room.

I do think it’s kinda sad though, as really babies and toddlers surely need a bit of quiet time and space for their development. I really feel that nurseries should prioritise restful sleep areas but I guess they don’t and it’s just accepted.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 07:13

@Dontjudgeme101 if you don’t mind me asking, how did you make that work with adult/child ratios etc?

OP posts:

BeastOfBODMAS · 27/04/2022 07:31

I visited 3 nurseries

no sleep room, mats in main room

separate sleep room, I visited at 1pm and the whole nursery was like the Marie Celeste as they were all asleep in darkness with classical music playing

separate sleep room open plan to main room with a curtain that could be pulled across

We went with 3. as among other factors, we both have ASD so there is every chance that DD will be someone who needs her quiet time.
Didnt rate 1. it was a chain in a purpose built building and felt like a warehouse school.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 27/04/2022 07:35

Yeah, it’s witchcraft

Tbf DD1 was one of those “dark room, patting, no one walking by, day of week not ending in y” kind of nappers. I now have twins and they fall asleep in my arms facing out. It’s one of those things.

Eggshelly · 27/04/2022 07:39

Floydthebarber · 22/04/2022 15:00

As a PP has said, nurseries are sleep wizards. They could get dds to lie down and sleep at regular times in a way they never would at home.

Really? Mine refuses to sleep at nursery and instead tries to wake everyone else up. :(

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