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Original poster

Nursery - babies sleeping in main room?

71 replies

Cafeaulait27 · 22/04/2022 11:41

I went to a lovely nursery for a visit and we were really impressed with it all. Lovely garden, lovely spacious rooms, seemed very well managed and nice staff. I was really pleased to see a quiet, dark sleep room where they play white noise or music for the babies and they say they adhere to their routines for naps and there is always a staff member in the room with them while they nap rather than monitors.

We left thinking it was really great, but then I thought if it’s 3 babies with 1 adult what happens if one needs a nap but the others don’t, so I emailed to ask. The manager said that usually the babies sleep in the main room if that happens. I said so do you generally find that the babies all nap around the same time? She said ‘With regards to the sleep, all babies have their own routines. Lots of the babies sleep very well in the main room but some sleep better in the sleep room. If there is a group of babies all sleeping at similar times, they usually go into the sleep room.’

I find this a bit weird. Surely the babies should always nap in a sleep room? I’m not sure what our boy will be like by the time he goes at 1 year, but at the moment he needs to be in his cot with white noise and darkness. He would never be able to switch off in the main room and would probably get upset.

is this the norm due to adult/baby ratios? I feel like she made it sound like they always nap in the sleep room, but when I probed further about how that actually works it turns out mostly they actually don’t use it?

im feeling very confused. They bang on about doing exactly what you do at home but I feel like something as important as sleep shouldn’t be like this? It just seems wrong to me…

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StillUp · 27/04/2022 07:43

My nursery had a separate sleep room and it was used, as even if they are using a similar nap routine as at home there’s a good chance a few of them will be sleeping at roughly the same time. I doubt they’d be wasting the space if it was actually rarely used. They’ll just mean if one is completely out of sync with the rest or falls asleep at a different time to usual they’ll just use the main room.

I worried massively about my DD’s sleep when she started nursery as she was very particular about naps at home. Like PP have said nursery workers are magic. She was sleeping on a mat with the rest in no time.

toomuchlaundry · 27/04/2022 07:45

DS never napped in his cot during the day from quite an early age. Had to walk him around in his pram.

When he started nursery they showed me the cots for the babies, I said you will be lucky! First day there they had no problem getting him to sleep in the cot! Still never slept for me. Nurseries are magic. They can also get children to eat food they would never try at home

toomuchlaundry · 27/04/2022 07:46

I remember having to pick DS up early from nursery and it was nap time in the toddler room. I was mesmerised by all the toddlers lying quietly on mats on the floor. Don’t know how they do it

TulipsGarden · 27/04/2022 07:50

Ours had a separate sleep room for babies, but they said not many actually need the dark, silent space. If one does prefer it they have them in the, but generally they slept in little dog bed type things in a quiet corner. And after lunch was quiet time where most of the babies napped or they did quiet activities. (I stayed for a couple of settling in sessions and picked up my child at naptime because he was ill, so saw reality.)

Mine absolutely needed silence at home at that age, but slept beautifully at nursery. I don't know how they do it. But... for most of human history, houses would have been full of children and decidedly not silent. It's hard enough with I've toddler at home with a baby, let alone a few more older children around as well. I think most babies are fine sleeping in louder environments, but get used to silence during mat leave and that becomes their preference.

brookstar · 27/04/2022 07:51

I do think it’s kinda sad though, as really babies and toddlers surely need a bit of quiet time and space for their development. I really feel that nurseries should prioritise restful sleep areas but I guess they don’t and it’s just accepted.

I would just trust them. They know what they're doing!
DS would never nap at home but would sleep for two hours every day at nursery.

I seem to remember that they were all encouraged to go to sleep at a certain time so it was quiet and restful.... even if one or two didn't sleep or didn't sleep for long.

TulipsGarden · 27/04/2022 07:52

Oh and mine is now 3 and likes to go to sleep on the floor sometimes at night 😂 He doesn't even nap at nursery anymore, he's just used to sleeping on the floor!

toomuchlaundry · 27/04/2022 07:54

If you are worried about this do you think nursery is the right place, what about a childminder?

Christmas6574347 · 27/04/2022 07:55

Sounds pretty spot on to me. Flexible to individual requirements. When my small one started at 11 months they needed 2 or 3 naps a day, they made it work.

Focus on whether you like and trust the staff. They will be infinitely better at getting your child to sleep in a routine than you are!

Christmas6574347 · 27/04/2022 07:56

Oh, and I think he found being in a the main room to sleep easier when he first went. More reassuring to be with people.

Basilthymerosemary · 27/04/2022 08:02

Agree with PPs. Answer is witchcraft and magic. My LOs always needed to contact nap in the dark, white noise etc. went to nursery and went to sleep happily in the main room with others still zooming around (although in a teepee tent). Some days they go in the sleeping room, some days they will want to stay in the main rooms. Your little one will have a completely different routine at nursery compared to home. Even now they're good as gold at nursery and will sleep for 2hrs but not at home- nope- must be pushed in the pram or no sleep. Let your little one find their own routine and you find yours on the days lo isn't at nursery. Don't try to fight it- it's easier to go with the flow. X

Dontjudgeme101 · 27/04/2022 08:10

Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 07:13

@Dontjudgeme101 if you don’t mind me asking, how did you make that work with adult/child ratios etc?

The sleep room didn’t have a door on it. It had a safety gate across it. We would put the babies/ child in cots. Pat, rub, white noise or nursery rhymes on. Once the babies/children were asleep, we would leave them in the sleep room. The sleep room was in the corner of the baby room. We had baby monitors in there. So we could hear if anyone woke up etc. We physically went in regularly to check on the babies/ children and sometimes we would sit in the sleep room doing work.

zaffa · 27/04/2022 08:24

Hugasauras · 22/04/2022 13:51

Nursery sleep and home sleep are totally different. Nursery are wizards with sleep IME. When I sent DD, she was a contact napper in dark room. On her first day she went to sleep on a floor bed with other kids in the room. Baffling!

Generally the kids fall into a standard napping schedule at nursery too so they do end up sleeping at roughly the same time.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

This! DD still needs a cuddle to sleep and is in a darkened room with a gro friend on. At nursery she just toddles off to her bed for a sleep after lunch with no trouble. Nursery know what they are doing. It takes a little while for them to get used to the new nursery routine, and they will usually start off mirroring yours a bit, but the kids settle into different routines (especially because they copy their peers).

Efortyjive · 27/04/2022 08:29

Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 07:11

Thanks all, it’s interesting to hear that it’s the normal thing for them to be in the main room.

I do think it’s kinda sad though, as really babies and toddlers surely need a bit of quiet time and space for their development. I really feel that nurseries should prioritise restful sleep areas but I guess they don’t and it’s just accepted.

Well what do you suggest doing about it? They have a room that is used if they can, if they can't then they have a process which allows babies to get the sleep they require whilst maintaining safe staffing levels. I think you're very naieve, even though nursery fees are very high, they are all struggling to make ends meet. There is no pot for extra staff to ensure all babies can always sleep in the sleep room (although I suspect most days it is well utilised). This isn't the fault of parents, but it's also not the fault of nurseries, if you find it unacceptable then lobby the government to property fund childcare provision.

Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 09:10

@Efortyjive do you work in a nursery? You sound offended?

I am new to the nursery world and just always thought there would be somewhere proper for babies to rest (which there is, but doesn’t always get used which is a shame). The way they said it at the show round was - we were in the lovely sleep room, and she said we follow the same routines babies have at home, and we have white noise etc, and there’s always a staff member supervising in the sleep room instead of monitors. we were like oh this is great! It was only when I probed further when thinking about ratios what if one baby needs a nap and others don’t. I thought from what said that they would still ensure that someone was able to supervise the nap room whenever babies need to nap and I do think it’s a shame that’s not possible. it’s a whole new world to me!

I wasn’t so keen on a childminder as there’s less supervision of what they’re doing and I’m not keen on him being ferried about on school runs. I love how nurseries do loads of activities and can socialise with other children of a similar age etc, it’s just the sleep thing I’m a little sad about. It did seem a lovely nursery though, we got a lovely feel from it

OP posts:
Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 09:11

Also, of course I’m naive @Efortyjive i admit I didn’t know much about nurseries hence asking here to get more of an idea ☺️

OP posts:
StillUp · 27/04/2022 09:23

Don’t feel sad about it Cafeaulait27, it’ll take a bit of adjustment but they really
do get used to sleeping in a different setting. My second DC rarely gets a peaceful nap as the older one is usually bombing about knocking the pram. It seems a big thing now but it won’t be in reality.

I had really similar worries when mine started. I was keen for her to keep to her own routine etc. and was probably a bit PFB about somethings. As she settled in there were some things that didn’t always happen how I’d like, her naps started to fit in with their nap times, or there’d be a day with hardly any info entered into the app for example. But by this point I knew DD loved it and I trusted the staff, so it all seemed less important and I was less anxious/less bothered about control.

reeeeeeee · 27/04/2022 09:55

I worked in a private nursery. We put the babies to sleep at a certain time whether they want to or not and they each have a specified nap time from the parents that we try to get them to sleep for by shushing them back to sleep if they wake up.

We often cuddled them to sleep which was the best part of the job as that's all babies want really.

Efortyjive · 27/04/2022 09:57

Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 09:10

@Efortyjive do you work in a nursery? You sound offended?

I am new to the nursery world and just always thought there would be somewhere proper for babies to rest (which there is, but doesn’t always get used which is a shame). The way they said it at the show round was - we were in the lovely sleep room, and she said we follow the same routines babies have at home, and we have white noise etc, and there’s always a staff member supervising in the sleep room instead of monitors. we were like oh this is great! It was only when I probed further when thinking about ratios what if one baby needs a nap and others don’t. I thought from what said that they would still ensure that someone was able to supervise the nap room whenever babies need to nap and I do think it’s a shame that’s not possible. it’s a whole new world to me!

I wasn’t so keen on a childminder as there’s less supervision of what they’re doing and I’m not keen on him being ferried about on school runs. I love how nurseries do loads of activities and can socialise with other children of a similar age etc, it’s just the sleep thing I’m a little sad about. It did seem a lovely nursery though, we got a lovely feel from it

No i don't, but I feel for workers in the sector who were absolutely treated like crap during covid and continue to be now. Settings are shutting around the country because they cannot afford to remain open, they explained what they do and why and if you aren't happy about it find somewhere else?

GiltEdges · 27/04/2022 10:10

I do think it’s kinda sad though, as really babies and toddlers surely need a bit of quiet time and space for their development. I really feel that nurseries should prioritise restful sleep areas but I guess they don’t and it’s just accepted.

What do you think happens in households with more than one DC, even when they're at home with their parents? My experience is that the first DC will have a sleep routine that's completely pandered to, while all subsequent DC will just be expected to sleep anywhere/go with the flow. Why would it be damaging developmentally for them not to sleep in a quiet room? They're still sleeping. There's actually evidence that sleeping where it's light for naps during the day is better for babies than sleeping in the dark, as it doesn't upset their naturally developing circadian rhythm.

Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 10:11

@Efortyjive I’m just asking if it’s the norm or not as I’m not an expert on nurseries…

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Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 10:13

@reeeeeeee ooh that is so lovely ❤️

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Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 27/04/2022 10:15

@StillUp thank you that is reassuring. I think I actually wouldn’t mind about him having to fit in with their nap routines, but expected the nap room to be used. It is all very new, so it’s really great to hear others experiences and what is normal so I can get my head around it all x

OP posts:
BobbinHood · 27/04/2022 10:17

I really feel that nurseries should prioritise restful sleep areas but I guess they don’t and it’s just accepted.

I preferred that DD’s nursery prioritised staffing ratios, safety, safeguarding and the children being able to nap when they wanted to over shoving them in a separate room on a schedule.

There’s nothing to be sad about, babies and toddlers still get good naps and some quiet time, they don’t need to be in a separate room to do that. Unless you think that all second/third/fourth born children in all of history have never had a proper nap, surely you can understand that small children can nap and rest even when there might be some noise or other children around?

BobbinHood · 27/04/2022 10:19

In baby room at DD’s nursery they used sleep coracles like these ones in the main room, they were fantastic. https://www.communityplaythings.co.uk/products/furniture/cots-coracles-and-sleep-mats/coracles/dream-coracle?v=G961

BiscuitLover3678 · 27/04/2022 10:21

Cafeaulait27 · 22/04/2022 13:47

its not that I’m expecting all babies to nap at the same time, but I was expecting sufficient cover so that if a baby wanted to nap they could always use the sleep room. If not, I’m not sure what the point of it is?

That would involve a lot of staffing. Lots of nurseries have staffing issues as it is. Maybe in an even more expensive nursery where they can afford more?

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