24 month old says he wasn't cuddled at nursery

[MaamaaJC]

My 24 month old has told me this evening that he hit his head while at nursery and he was not cuddled. He says he wanted a cuddle but the staff member did not cuddle him. He has also said he can't sit on this staff member's lap.

I know he's young and may not be expressing himself clearly and it may be that the staff member was in the middle of doing something. But, he's very good at telling us what happened each day and often says when things have been exciting or sad for him.

Would you raise this with the nursery? I'd really appreciate your thoughts on what to do. Thank you

I would just because our nursery have a policy that any injury above the shoulders, no matter how minor it may seem, requires a call to parents and it sounds like you heard about the bumped head from DS first

As pp did you not get an accident report form?

No, we haven't had anything from nursery to say he hit his head. I'll ask when I drop him off tomorrow. I guess it could have been very minor, but it's upset him enough that he's told me about it.

Agreed, you should speak to the nursery as you should have been informed that he’d hit his head.

There is probably policy regarding physical contact with a child but to receive no comfort, not even a wee pat on the head, doesn’t sound particularly nurturing. Hope your boy is ok now and has had lots of cuddles from you to make up for it.

Deffo raise it.
My sons hurt his head afew times at nursery and even if it's tiny I still get a form with it being his head.

There is probably policy regarding physical contact with a child but to receive no comfort, not even a wee pat on the head, doesn’t sound particularly nurturing.

I’ve never heard of a nursery for 2 year olds with a policy of not giving cuddles.

I’d ask, because I’d expect to have signed an accident form for a bump on the head. DD’s usually say something like: treatment - cold compress and cuddles applied!

Oh how sad! I’d definitely say something and try to find out what happened. Our nursery always say if they had a bump, fall etc what they did to treat it “and plenty of cuddles”.

Children can be comforted without cuddles and lap-sitting.

That sounds very sad to me. I would definitely ask the nursery. There could be a reason why he couldn't sit on that person's lap (an injury for example) but he should have been comforted in another way.

I work with this age group and I couldn't imagine not cuddling a child who had hurt themselves or who was feeling sad.

Maybe staff didn't see him hit his head and that's why they didn't feel the cuddle was necessary and they were busy setting up an activity? Even secondary school children sometimes can't visualise a whole scenario.

First off your child is 2.

And ad others have said, ask nursery tomorrow.

In the current climate it is quite common for policies to disallow physical.contact. but did he actually tell anyone he hand bumped his head?

My child has attended a nursery setting since Oct 2020 - as expected she’s had a few bumps here and there, staff at the nursery have always comforted her and told me upon collection; if serious I’ve received a call.

The staff give her a cuddle every morning when she goes in, she’s been poorly today and spent an hour getting cuddles off her favourite staff member! At 2 he’s still a baby, and cuddles make everything seem better at that age

2 of my dc cried for a year at nursery.. If the amazing TA hadn't cuddled him every morning he wouldn't have coped at all!!

That doesn’t sound very nice. Poor little boy. As a full time working mum I used to get huge comfort from my son coming home from nursery smelling of his favourite nursery nurse’s perfume, as I knew it meant he’d been cuddled.

I would definitely raise it with them. Surely there should be an accident form.

Nothing to add to what others have said, but I also have a 24m old and I’m amazed he can tell you that much. Mines only just putting two words together

Thanks for your replies, they are really helpful.

The nursery definitely allows cuddles, I've seen other staff members cuddling him.

When he's with me he will always tell me if he's hurt himself even if I don't witness it. He'll run over to me saying "I hurt my head or hand" etc, so I think he would have been able to tell them what was wrong.

I totally accept the staff member may have been in the middle of doing something or was helping another child so may not have been able to comfort him immediately.

My worry is he may not have been cuddled or comforted when he was upset, which, regardless of what was seen or not, seems wrong to me.

I'll start by asking whether he hit his head yesterday.

Thank you all again

@CPGyellowwallpaper - I can't think of anyone I know who has this age group in a nursery where physical contact isn't an integral part of the care despite covid - and I know a lot of parents of toddlers...!
School, yes, physical contact is minimised nursery - no. The staff at my DC nursery all cuddle the children loads, as they know that pre-school ages kids need affection.

OP - I'd mention it to nursery in the morning , but not in an accusatory way, unless you've reason to think it is a common thing for them to ignore injuries....If your 2yo is like mine though, they aren't always all that clear about what they are saying at that age and can get things a bit mixed up. My toddler told me his friend 'broke his leg' for example - but actually he had scraped his knee...

@CPGyellowwallpaper

First off your child is 2.

And ad others have said, ask nursery tomorrow.

In the current climate it is quite common for policies to disallow physical.contact. but did he actually tell anyone he hand bumped his head?

Are you commenting on me using "24 months" instead of saying he's 2?

Wow....Sorry to have offended you....

There's a huge variation in a child who's 24 months and one who's 35 months, both are 2.

I do grate my teeth when people still talk in months after 18 months

Mention it casually to nursery but it is probably a mix up.

@popcorndiva why? It’s really important for speech milestones etc to know the actual months

No you just say 2 , nearly 2 , 2 and a half etc.
You sound very pfb when you say months

Why? Who made up this rule

Honestly I think op saying 24 months is v helpful - as she says 2 can mean any age 24 months to 3.

I had no idea this was so offensive to people! In real life I say he's 2, but thought, for context, the 24 months would be helpful here.

Should say my dc had a severe speech delay - we were constantly counting the months until he finally started to talk, months late. Lots of us need to be very focused on months and I’m not pfb just a mum of a dc with SN.