24 month old says he wasn't cuddled at nursery

[MaamaaJC]

My 24 month old has told me this evening that he hit his head while at nursery and he was not cuddled. He says he wanted a cuddle but the staff member did not cuddle him. He has also said he can't sit on this staff member's lap.

I know he's young and may not be expressing himself clearly and it may be that the staff member was in the middle of doing something. But, he's very good at telling us what happened each day and often says when things have been exciting or sad for him.

Would you raise this with the nursery? I'd really appreciate your thoughts on what to do. Thank you

Do people actually go round saying my child is 25 months? As no one I know does ....

And I'm not sure exactly what PFB means, but if it's precious first baby, yes he is my precious first baby, and I don't feel bad about it!

Everyone who ever had a dc with a speech delay like us I think

Even if you don’t have a child with SN it’s a useful way to explain age.

Cannot believe all the nastiness about the OPs choice of saying 24 months over 2 years old !!! It’s horrible !!!
Ffs in 2022 when people can choose their gender why can’t a parent choose without judgement how to refer to their child’s age !!!

@RockAndRollerskate

Nothing to add to what others have said, but I also have a 24m old and I’m amazed he can tell you that much. Mines only just putting two words together

Different children have different speech capabilities at 24 months.

Some kids in my family, which unfortunately my DD was one, speak a lot at 24 months while others don't.

@popcorndiva

Do people actually go round saying my child is 25 months? As no one I know does ....

People do when they are mentioning things linked to developmental milestones.

I think you’re absolutely right to be concerned. I’d speak to nursery. If the key worker isn’t cuddling/allowing lap sitting, I’d change key worker. If this isn’t possible- I’d change childcare. It would be extremely important to me that my child was cuddled and received physical affection/contact.

OP can’t win here. If she’d said ‘2’, she would have been strictly told that there’s a bit difference between just turned 2 and nearly 3.

The ‘don’t count their ages in months’ police are really fucking tedious and precious. (And my kids are 6 and 10 so I don’t have a PFB thing happening.) People need to find more productive hobbies.

OP, I’d go in firmly on the lack of accident report. A temp staff member messed up their head injury reporting protocols and our very worrying night in A&E with concussed preschooler was made even more stressful because we didn’t know any of the details the staff wanted to know. Those protocols are in place for a reason - and your son is clear he told the teacher about it.

I would raise it with the nursery to get their take on it, even if to just put your mind at rest. It could be that the staff member in question is not particularly tactile and that may need addressing as she works with two year olds.

I sorry if I have offended the children with special needs as developmental milestones when talking to health professionals I can see months are important

This thread is not about that, her child does not have any worries in that department its about whether the nursery has missed him hitting his head or not offered comfort.

DD1 often brings home accident forms with ‘cuddles’ written in the treatment box. I’d absolutely have a chat about this - remembering though that small children aren’t always reliable in their recollections.

I teach primary and even if an eight year old launches themselves on me after a friendship drama I don’t push them off! Last year I taught one girl with such a rubbish situation with her non resident mum that she spent most mornings curled up on my lap sniffling while I took the register. The rule is that we don’t initiate contact but it’s not banned so long as it’s appropriate. I’d assume/hope a nursery would encourage affection where a child seeks it.

OP one of the things with a child that talks early and a lot is that they can relay things that have happened but get the time wrong e.g. they actually hit their head but it was 2 weeks ago, and then they make a mistake in what happened.

So check with nursery whether he actually hit his head on the day he said.

My CM and I had to cross check with each other for a year as my DD would say things that had actually happened but get the timing wrong. For example she would go to the zoo but tell the CM two weeks later she went on that weekend, or she would say to me she played with someone at the CM but that child was there on a different day of the week.

Is there a mark or bump on his head? I don't think you always need an accident report. If no first aid was given then no problem: if he's usually happy there then maybe the staff were busy with something else? Maybe they gave him a magic rub and sent him off to play. Unfortunately with multiple children to care for there isn't always time for cuddles.

If he isn't happy there and you have a bad feeling then ask about it. Go with your instinct.

@popcorndiva

No you just say 2 , nearly 2 , 2 and a half etc. You sound very pfb when you say months

Or you say months... each to their own, it means exactly the same thing

I think you’re reading too much into this.

He could have bumped his head and not said anything or they could have rubbed it and made sure he was ok and then ran off with his friends.

I don’t think every bump requires a cuddle as surely that would turn them into little drama llamas.
I would have thought it would be better to teach resilience and not make too big of a deal out of it if it’s only a small bump.

@RockAndRollerskate

Nothing to add to what others have said, but I also have a 24m old and I’m amazed he can tell you that much. Mines only just putting two words together

They are all so different. Ds1 was speaking in full sentences by that age and quite able to tell the nursery staff of all my parenting fails, of which there were many. Ds2 couldn’t pronounce his name at 5. Guess who’s the higher earner now!

They should be reporting all injuries and bumps, especially head bumps.

@JassyRadlett has it spot on
** The ‘don’t count their ages in months’ police are really fucking tedious and precious. (And my kids are 6 and 10 so I don’t have a PFB thing happening.) People need to find more productive hobbies.

OP, I’d go in firmly on the lack of accident report. A temp staff member messed up their head injury reporting protocols and our very worrying night in A&E with concussed preschooler was made even more stressful because we didn’t know any of the details the staff wanted to know. Those protocols are in place for a reason - and your son is clear he told the teacher about it.**

Maybe no staff saw the head bump. Maybe they did see and believe it to be extremely minor. Maybe there's a reason why he wasn't cuddled.

The not sitting on the lap could be for all sorts of reasons. I didn't let anybody sit on my lap on Monday because one of the children had started in pants this week and if I wasn't going to let her sit on my lap, it would be fair if others could.

Mysterian - aged 584 months

I would ask his key worker about it.

If there's no mark and no accident form I'd guess he either didn't bump his head or staff didn't notice/realise he had.
These could have all been separate incidents rather than happening at the same time or one leading to another.

Of course '24 months' is relevant in this scenario - if OP had said 2 year old the first question would have been are they just 2 or nearly 3.
Knowing this is a 24 month old means it's pretty likely that he has not managed to recount the story exactly as it happened, it might not resemble anything like what actually did happen!

did you find out how he hit his head? @MaamaaJC

@themonkeysnuts

did you find out how he hit his head? *@MaamaaJC*

They said he ran into a plywood tunnel and hit the top of his head. So sounds like it was more of a scrape than a bump. I didn't mention what he said about no cuddling, but I will if he says something similar again. Thanks for asking!