Punishment of a 24 month old child at nursery

[LilyGolden]

Hi,

I’m looking for some advice and opinions. I observed a child at my child’s nursery being punished this week as I walked though the playground.

The child is 24 months old and they had repeatedly not followed instruction regarding where to ride their tricycle. The nursery have since told me that she ultimately fell off the tricycle and as punishment the child was made to sit on a cold, wet playground floor, up against a wall while crying hysterically. Three members of staff stood a matter of feet away from her and yet nobody comforted her, sat with her or held her hand during the time out while she was so upset. Apparently, so the nursery tell me, the time out lasted 1 minute and then it was explained to her what she had done wrong and that she mustn’t do it again and, so they say, a hug was given before she was allowed to rejoin play. (Although their account of the events building up to and following what I witnessed seems to keep changing).

Seeing such a little tot so upset and being punished disturbed me and I contacted the nursery to report the incident.

To my shock they investigated (reviewed CCTV) and came back to me saying that the staff were right to do this, this is normal practice and in line with their behaviour management policies and procedures for 18-30 month olds. My instinct is that this is excessive and to my mind also not consistent with their policy of never humiliating or singling out a child for poor behaviour.

I requested that my child is never treated like this and the nursery Director replied refusing my request.

Is this normal? Does this happen at other nurseries for this age group? Particularly given the context that the child was crying and upset.

I appreciate that I saw a snapshot of an event, but the bit I did see made me deeply upset especially when I think that my tot could be put in that position when she moves up to that room in a few months.

I'm another person who would be moving my child, that is not an appropriate response and as other posters have said time outs are not recommended and certainly not when the child is hurt and it's wet and cold! Do you know the parent of the child involved? If I were you I'd tell that parent what happened, and I'd be adding reviews online and informing as many other parents as I could. Keep it factual then parents who are ok with that treatment for their children can keep them there but others who aren't have all relevant info to help them to make the best choice for their child.

Time out is not used in my sons nursery or any other nursery I know.
I would be heartbroken to find out this happened to my child.
Ofc actions need for consequences but that is awful.
I would be removing and reporting.
Do you know the child's parents? See them passing at drop off/pick up?

The purpose of a behaviour management policy is to enable children to learn to treat each other with care and respect, staff should role model this behaviour. Young children should learn how to stay safe and make choices. They should be supported to learn how to self-regulate their emotions.

None of this is happening in this setting. They aren't following the EYFS guidelines.

This is very poor practice and shows a real lack of understanding of children's developmental needs.

Leave asap. I'm an ex Ofsted inspector for early years. Alarm bells ringing.

It's pointless to put a 24 month old in timeout. 3/4/5 y.o. etc. Fair enough. But a 24 month old doesn't even understand what they did wrong at that particular age. Too harsh imo. I'd change nurseries.

My child’s nursery never did time out or naughty step. They were trained professionals and had lots of better techniques for managing behaviour. In this case the natural consequence was the child falling, there was no need for any ‘punishment’ to follow.

Sorry you’re dealing with this op, if you absolutely have to leave your child there temporarily you should keep pushing to see their full behaviour management policy.

Our nursery wouldn't do this. It isn't a normal thing.

@Tumbleweed101

Our nursery wouldn't do this. It isn't a normal thing.

And if you'd asked me this a couple of weeks ago I would have said the same thing! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. But at the same time, I know what I saw.

No, that’s bad.
The child already had a natural consequence of falling off the tricycle. Timeouts are generally being moved away from in childcare because they’re dated and ineffective. And the stubborn sticking to this method would concern me.

Hope your child gets a new spot soon!

I would pull my child out of a nursery that did this. Their behaviour policies are clearly regressive, ill informed and not child centred. Even if they agreed not to treat your child like this, your child will witness it, which is distressing.
My kids’ nursery did time ins (ie if a child hurts another child, remove them and sit with them/explain why then do something else). They did not refuse to comfort an upset child.

I'd take my child out of the nursery for that. That's an appalling way to treat a just 2yo. Redirection is key, not punishment! I hate timeouts, especially for such young children. It's cruel and counter productive.

By far the easiest thing would have been to removed the trike and distract her with something else. We're the staff just standing around or were they interacting with the children?

I'd take my child out. That's disgusting. OK, the time out maybe but to sit on a cold wet floor in January and listen to a baby cry is awful. I couldn't leave my child there

Report to Ofsted. That's awful.

@caringcarer

I thought you said child only made to sit there for 1 minute. Hardly long enough to get upset about. 60 seconds. Time out is a standard behaviour management technique. If my children were naughty after being told several times I put them on naughty step and it was 1 minute for each year of life. They were in full view of me it gave them time to calm and reflect. You have no idea how some children start school with dreadful behaviour be size no one has taken the trouble to manage their bad behaviour before.

Naughty step is pure shaming in my opinion. The young child doesn't have the maturity to sit there and reflect on what they did. All they do is sit there and feel shamed by their caregiver.

Natural consequences and clear explanations are much more effective and kind in my opinion.

Cruel and shocking practice
No way would I continue to send one of my children to a nursery where this has taken place.

I am amazed and appalled. You could report to Ofsted.

Goodness me!
I'm a nursery teacher (3-5) and this is extreme even for my kids.
A few points
*If they had told the child repeatedly and they hadn't listened, they should have taken action e.g. went and spoke to the child, redirected, removed the trike etc they took the lazy approach.

• You can do time out in a much gentler way "oh dear me, I asked you to stop riding your bike there and you didn't listen, now you've fallen over. I'm going to put the bike away now while you sit with x and have a calm down and a think. (a bit much for a 3 year old but yswim) *Not just ignore the sad wet child on the floor

My staff always want to use a time out (and that language) but I don't allow it. It's
*Verbal reminder
*Redirect
*Physical redirect "oh look Mrs X is doing so and so lets go and see her" (take child by hand and change their position)
*Oh dear you are finding X difficult so let's go and sit down and have a think and a chat/look at a book etc.
I can't even remember the last time I had to do the last one because we intervene before this stage

i would remove my child immediately. It is not acceptable to treat a child like that

I would report the nursery

I am still in conversation with them about this event a week on and they have given me three different accounts of what happened in the build up to what I saw and following. Ultimately nothing that little tot could have done could have justified the punishment I saw being carried out. They've even tried to convince me that she wasn't crying! She was sobbing. I saw that with my own eyes. They also tried to convince me that she was sitting on a dry part of the playground! She wasn't. There was no dry part of the playground. I feel like I'm being gas lighted by a nursery!

The nursery Managing Director wrote to me today confirming that time outs are a method of behavioural management that they use and will use this on my child should she not follow instruction. They said this is in line with ofsted recommendations. Then she sung her own nursery's praises and told me to trust her. Also not to worry because they don't use corporal punishment. What is wrong with these people?!

Does anyone know where I could access ofsted a recommendations for behavioural management at nurseries? Not that I think there's any point going back and arguing the point with them. The MD put in her letter that she regards this as case closed.

Honestly, every time I have to take my child there I come away crying with sadness and guilt.

24 months! They won't have a clue why they're there, just that the people who are meant to be caring for them and love them are not. Early years Children do not make those connections! I childmind and I sometimes sit a child with me on the sofa if they've been hitting,but mostly I try to block it from happening. I'd have removed the trike or redirected the child and certainly falling off would have been more than enough"punishment!

@Qwertykeys

Do you know the child’s “history “ , are they known for not following the rules , have the staff tried other methods, is this a last resort ? You only have a snapshot of the insolent and why time out was used.

It doesn't matter if the child often doesn't follow instructions. You don't sit a 2 year old on a cold wet floor anyway and you don't do it if they are hysterical. I have worked in several nurseries and never used this technique. Occasionally a time out was given but not sat outside and with a member of staff sat with them. As a parent I'd be furious and my child wouldn't be going back there.

Hi @Rosebel
I'm simply saying op has no idea if this child has ongoing challenges and alternative strategies have been discussed and implemented with the parents agreement. If op thinks it's a safeguard issue and has no joy at the nursery she should report further.

So have you reported it to Ofsted? You can make it clear to them that you've been given three different accounts and they're trying to tell you that you didn't see what you saw. Ultimately if it's all OK and Ofsted are happy, then no problem. However, if Ofsted do find an issue, they can sort it out. You can't leave it any longer because the incident will be too far in the past.