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Original poster

Shall I pull my daughter out of nursery

57 replies

Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 07:11

My daughter is 13 months and has been at nursery since 10 months old. Since she has started she’s had covid, foot & mouth, bronchitis and now croup. She has not had a break I feel so awful for her. She’s had so much time off. I am at the stage where is it even worth sending her to nursery, I know they pick up everything but I have sent her at the wrong time with everything going on?

I work 3 days a week 1 day in the office, mys sister is able to have her on the 1 day I am in the office. Do I wait until she is two? we go to baby ballet and have baby friends just sick of her being ill :(

I’m stressed and I don’t know what to do?

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Rosemaryandlemon · 25/10/2021 08:00

My eldest got referred to the paediatrician because he lost so much weight at age 1 (dropped from 91 to 50 percentile in weight). He started nursery at 7.5 months and literally had constant illness. The paediatrician examined him and said he was fine but it was a combination of walking really early and various bugs. When I said should I pull him out of nursery and get a nanny, she said he was going to get all these bugs anyway so push through. We did. It got better.

RobinPenguins · 25/10/2021 08:03

Don’t try to work from home with her there, you’ll be really short changing either your daughter or your work. Just because you managed it when she was a young baby doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. I’d be far more concerned about a child that was being ‘cared for’ this way two days a week than one that was picking up childhood illnesses from nursery.

RobinPenguins · 25/10/2021 08:05

@boomwhacker

I'm not sure I agree with many of these posts. One of my children didn't attend nursery at all- didn't get any of the bugs listed in the OP and never has (she's 15 now!). My youngest daughter did go up nursery but didn't have any of these illnesses either (she's 8 now). Honestly OP, your child is very young. If she doesn't have to be in nursery I'd take her out and find another where they know how to wash their hands
Whereas my child has been in nursery for 3 years since 10 months old and has never had any of those illnesses either. What’s that you say…luck? Guess that applies to both situations.
Snugglemuffin · 25/10/2021 08:08

Could you get a nanny if childminder? I don't think that is necessarily the norm BTW. Mine got a few wee bugs but not all that. Not necessarily the nursery's fault though.

Hattie765 · 25/10/2021 08:11

I'd keep her in if you can. I was the same as you and pulled mine out of nursery at about 15 months for the same reasons and sent them back at 30 months and it made no difference, they were still sick all the time for the first year xx

Hattie765 · 25/10/2021 08:13

Also never try to WFH with a child under 5, there's just no point

LIZS · 25/10/2021 08:13

@Franny0696

I've worked 6 months from home with my child and still get work done and time to play with her. She doesn't get ignored, my work are very flexible and understand I have a child.

It's so hard!! I think after being in hospital with her over the weekend with croup it has generally scared me.

I think you may find that expectations will or have changed. Dh work no longer allows for childcare when wfh.
Original poster
Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 08:54

I appreciate all the posts every child is different. No one knows ones capability regarding work from home so me looking after my child while I work from home is down to me. At least I am working and providing for my child and not doing so! Unfortunately I am not made of money and cannot afford to put my daughter into nursery 3 full days. Only cause it's difficult for yourself does not mean it is for me 🤷‍♀️this post is about nursery & my child ill health.

OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 25/10/2021 09:02

Unfortunately I am not made of money and cannot afford to put my daughter into nursery 3 full days.

Isn’t she in three days at the moment? If cost is the issue, that’s different to pulling her out due to illness.

(As an aside, do you use tax free childcare? If not you should definitely look into it, it helps us a lot)

Original poster
Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 09:12

@SickAndTiredAgain hi no she's in 1 1/2 days the rest with me as I only work 3 days. It wouldn't be worth me working to put her in 3 days. My husband works full time so we cannot get any help. :(

OP posts:
zafferana · 25/10/2021 09:15

If you can manage to work while caring for her at home OP and you'd rather not be constantly be dealing with a sick DC, then pull her out! It really is up to what you can manage and what you want.

SickAndTiredAgain · 25/10/2021 09:20

@Franny0696 if your husband earns less than £100k a year then you can get tax free childcare.

Original poster
Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 09:27

@SickAndTiredAgain thank you will look into it

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 25/10/2021 09:31

You'll have the same problem when she turns 2 if you send her then.

RobinPenguins · 25/10/2021 10:01

@Franny0696

I appreciate all the posts every child is different. No one knows ones capability regarding work from home so me looking after my child while I work from home is down to me. At least I am working and providing for my child and not doing so! Unfortunately I am not made of money and cannot afford to put my daughter into nursery 3 full days. Only cause it's difficult for yourself does not mean it is for me 🤷‍♀️this post is about nursery & my child ill health.
Well no, it’s up to your employer. It’s written into my contract that I must have childcare in place when wfh. Obviously that didn’t apply while they were all shut during lockdown. If you really think you can do both things well at once (and you either have a piss easy job, an unbelievably self sufficient toddler or low expectations around childcare) then crack on and save yourself the money. However you might find the same issue arising later only your child will be older, less compliant and needing more engagement.
Andwander · 25/10/2021 10:48

13 month old and in nursery!oh god,no wonder her body cant cope and her immu e system is highly compromised.you must be single with no support.I hope,you find support and your 13 month old gets support too.

Tillymintpolo · 25/10/2021 10:58

What judgemental bollocks @Andwander.

Original poster
Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 12:23

@Andwander woooooh how bloody rude. Single? im a married women with an amazing support system around me.

OP posts:
RidingMyBike · 25/10/2021 12:54

It sounds like you've been unlucky - mine was at nursery 3 days a week from 12 months and had exactly 3.5 days off sick before she left to start school at almost 5yo. They're going to catch the bugs regardless and better to get it over with - since starting school she's caught a few minor things but got 100% attendance last year.

I suspect it'd also be harder WFH with an active toddler around rather than a baby. I'd keep going and it'll get better.

Andwander · 25/10/2021 21:13

Whyis your husband not looking after the child and your amazing support system doesnt seem to support your either.I suppose,I and my partner just have very different priorities for our child.I have seen parents dragging half asleep children to a nursery at 7am in the morning.my partner and I are luckily on the same page and share the childcare equally 5o/50.

Beachbabe1 · 25/10/2021 21:14

My youngest was constantly ill! It's draining!! 😢 Not much you can do I'm afraid xx

Original poster
Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 21:15

@Andwander from your judgemental comments you must live a fun life judging others. My husband works full time and has his own business to provide for his family, not that need to I need to justify myself to you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Franny0696 · 25/10/2021 21:16

@Beachbabe1 I know it's so awful! Im not going to take her out of nursery just stressful! Xx

OP posts:
CocaColaTruck1 · 25/10/2021 21:20

@Andwander

Whyis your husband not looking after the child and your amazing support system doesnt seem to support your either.I suppose,I and my partner just have very different priorities for our child.I have seen parents dragging half asleep children to a nursery at 7am in the morning.my partner and I are luckily on the same page and share the childcare equally 5o/50.
Stupid comment
girlmom21 · 26/10/2021 08:45

@Andwander

Whyis your husband not looking after the child and your amazing support system doesnt seem to support your either.I suppose,I and my partner just have very different priorities for our child.I have seen parents dragging half asleep children to a nursery at 7am in the morning.my partner and I are luckily on the same page and share the childcare equally 5o/50.
Why have you seen nursery children at 7am if you're such a wonderful parent who doesn't need childcare?