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Original poster

1/2 days at nursery

41 replies

Emmalwells · 12/10/2021 12:07

My daughter is 14 months old and has been going to nursery for 2 half days for nearly 3 months. We are constantly getting calls from nursery saying how unsettled she is and emotional. When we get pictures they are giving her a dummy (which she doesn’t have unless she’s asleep at home) this tells me she’s been upset and they are trying to calm her down. Also she isn’t herself and their feedback is she loves cuddles and quiet time which just isn’t my child! She is so happy and loud at home and never sits still.

So I am stuck what to do! Nursery have suggested full days but at the moment I can’t see how that would help she isn’t aware of time! How can I leave her longer knowing she can’t make it to 10am without me getting a call. Do I try a different nursery or keep going? Has anyone else had this problem? Do I pull her and have family look after her but I worry she’s missing out and she loves being with other kids! Any help is much appreciated.

OP posts:
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girlmom21 · 12/10/2021 12:09

Full days will be better because she will have to learn to rely on the staff there. She won't be able to cry for a short time and know mommy comes back.

She'll tire herself out, have a nap, and know the staff are still there to look after her.

Two half days a week is really unsettling I can imagine.

Amrythings · 12/10/2021 12:22

The nursery we use won't take half days for exactly this reason - when they're just starting it can take a few hours for them to settle in, and you're taking them home just as they should be coming out of their shell and getting stuck in.

Mine has always done full days, but he's just moved up a room in September and it's taken to now for him to get used to the bigger group and more intensive activity. It's a lot to take in when you're tiny and if she's not doing full days then she doesn't have to make an effort to, she knows she's going home soon. They have a better sense of time than you'd think.

Original poster
Emmalwells · 12/10/2021 12:25

Why do you think they offer half days then? I wish someone had said this to me when she started nursery as I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't right for her Sad

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/10/2021 12:27

Lots of people work part time/shifts or can only use the 15 hours free childcare and can't afford more than half days.

Original poster
Emmalwells · 12/10/2021 12:30

This is the issue we can't really afford to put her in longer 😞 so I'm a bit stuck as to what to do with her.

OP posts:
Winnie87 · 12/10/2021 12:35

My daughter does 2 half days as we couldn't afford any more untill she gets her free hours. Hopefully she will start to settle in nursery as upsetting as it is at the moment. I'd give it a little while longer rather than moving her to a new one as this might upset her more. Hope she starts to like it soon, must be so hard for you!

Original poster
Emmalwells · 12/10/2021 12:37

@Winnie87 has your little one settled?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/10/2021 12:37

Do you get universal credit? Have you checked whether you're entitled to any help with childcare costs if you do?

I think you'll have a similar issue with 1 full day a week because it'll be confusing for her.

I think ideally you need at least 2 consecutive full days

Original poster
Emmalwells · 12/10/2021 12:40

@girlmom21 we get help with the government funding, me and my husband both work but paying for 2 full days would just be to much to cover. I work part time but in order to afford full days I would have to up my hours which would impact my time with her 😢

OP posts:
Winnie87 · 12/10/2021 12:44

@Emmalwells she has just started to settle. When I pick her up she still get upset that she seen me again, and tends to be clingy the rest of the day. I know how heartbreaking it is as there isn't much you can do. Are the days she goes one after another?

Emma1508 · 12/10/2021 12:45

@Winnie87 aw that's good she's getting there! Yes I do Thursdays and Fridays as they suggested the days were together when we first started

Aria2015 · 12/10/2021 12:48

What days does she go? My lo is the same age and does two half days. She goes two consecutive mornings. I usually find the first morning she can be a bit unsettled but then the second mornings she's on good form and is settled because I think she's got used to it from the day before. If the days are spaced out, could be that she's not getting a chance to get used to it and be settled? Just a thought...

Winnie87 · 12/10/2021 12:48

[quote Emma1508]@Winnie87 aw that's good she's getting there! Yes I do Thursdays and Fridays as they suggested the days were together when we first started[/quote]
Sorrry I can't offer much advice. Really hope she starts to settle for you soon 🤞

wildthingsinthenight · 12/10/2021 12:48

Ex nursery manager here. We didn't offer half days for this reason unless it was 4 or 5 mornings. It just isnt long enough for the child to settle before they are picked up again

Emma1508 · 12/10/2021 12:49

@Aria2015 she does do Thursday and Fridays so they are together but doesn't seem to help 😞

Kayjay2018 · 12/10/2021 12:50

@Emmalwells my little girl just didn't settle at nursery (my son did absolutely fine). In the end I took her out and found a childminder, she absolutely loves it there, don't know whether it was an age thing or she just wasn't happy being around the noise or number of people. She's only 17 months now but is very happy.

It's awful getting photos of your child being sad and getting calls. I honestly could have written your OP this time last year.

Emma1508 · 12/10/2021 12:51

@wildthingsinthenight thanks for posting that's helpful! Do you think after this time of her being so upset it will be harder to do full days though? Would I be better trying another nursery and starting again after a month or so? Not that I can afford it but I just want her to be happy 😞

Emma1508 · 12/10/2021 12:52

@Kayjay2018 aw I'm glad you managed to find something that worked for your little one! Was it full days in nursery before you decided to move to a childminder?

BugMummy · 12/10/2021 12:55

My LG has 1 half day on a Wednesday but does 2 other full days. On her half day she can be a bit unsettled sometimes. Could you do 1 full day instead?

Emma1508 · 12/10/2021 12:58

@BugMummy we were told at the time we shouldn't do 1 full day as it's too long in between sessions 🤷‍♀️

wildthingsinthenight · 12/10/2021 13:00

Emma1508 no I'd definitely do full days there. She needs the chance to have full days with them with multiple meals, naps etc. She has to get into the mindset that she is "looking to them" for care and comfort rather than waiting for you as she knows you won't be too long in coming. She'll get more of a rhythm to her days that way which is important.
And a14l4 months as OP's child she, they
are very knowing and aware of what is going on. Totally different to a 7 or 8 month old say. Not sure how old your little one is

Emma1508 · 12/10/2021 13:05

@wildthingsinthenight yeh she's 14 months and aware of everything! Not walking yet and is frustrated as she wants to be! I will have to have a look at finances and see as it's a lot more money 😞

wildthingsinthenight · 12/10/2021 13:07

Good luck! It is really tricky Flowers

BugMummy · 12/10/2021 13:17

[quote Emma1508]@BugMummy we were told at the time we shouldn't do 1 full day as it's too long in between sessions 🤷‍♀️[/quote]
Could you even stretch to an extra half day so 1 full and a half? Our full days are Monday and Friday and I felt it would be too long in between so that's why I put a half day in on a Wednesday. I've sacrificed some nice stuff and my DH takes overtime if he can

insancerre · 12/10/2021 13:22

The children that settle the quickest are those that attend every day, whether that’s full or half days