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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

2 year old started pre-school but bad gut feeling

45 replies

nataliejo · 08/09/2021 19:38

Hi,

Not posted before but looking for some advice as not sure if I’m over thinking?

I have been unsure wether to send my daughter to preschool but decided to bite the bullet and sign her up. I don’t need the childcare I thought it just might be a good place for her to socialise etc.

I, nor her health visitors have any concerns about her and she is a very grown up 2 year old (she turns 3 in December)
She is fully potty trained and in my eyes so different to others her age - she just seems older perhaps because she’s often been around adults.

The pre-school offered her 2 x 1 hour settling in sessions. We attended the first one where we stayed with her, and she went off and played and really loved it! I was happy.
I was telling her key worker she may need to ask if she needs the toilet as she may not come up and tell her as she is in a new environment and I was told most children regress when they start pre-school/nursery?
I wasn’t aware of this.

Then we had her second settling in session today and we left her. Now you’ll know it has been really hot today up to 28 degrees here.
I sent her with her backpack with some water and sun cream as well as spare clothes.
When I came back to pick her up she was all hot and sweaty which is expected on a hot day when she has been playing and having fun. I checked her bag which hadn’t been touched, so she hadn’t had any water or any sun cream applied despite playing outside majority of the time? I asked if she had had a drink and her key worker told me that she hadn’t been hanging around them and had been doing her own thing.

To me this sounds like they aren’t even watching her? I felt really guilty and sad that she must have been thirsty and hot.

They also had snacks out which was some fruit but it had gone all brown.

I don’t know wether I’m just over thinking but I feel like they aren’t really watching her? Her key worker couldn’t tell me anything, I was expecting her to tell me about how she got on etc but I was the one having to ask questions.

What do you think? Any advice appreciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Yogamummy23 · 08/09/2021 19:44

Hi OP. It’s horrid when you feel things arnt right and you should always listen to gut feelings but I’m not sure everything you list is a red flag. At my DD pre school it’s in the policy we have to apply sun cream in the morning before they go in if hot. You might find they have access to water in cups rather than her own bottle? I’d be surprised if not. And fruit does go a bit brown! Is she happy going there and say she likes it?

Original poster

nataliejo · 08/09/2021 19:52

Yes I did have a look but couldn’t see any access to water or juice out which is when I asked if she had had anything to drink but she hadn’t. I just thought they may have offered her some because it was such a hot day.
She does seem happy but she was a bit quiet when she came out. She can’t properly tell me everything though. I am just worried if she goes next time and she doesn’t have a drink or snack.

OP posts:

Yogamummy23 · 08/09/2021 19:54

Defo chase up the drink. Ask them that if they don’t have access elsewhere to make sure she has her bottle - I agree that is bad if it’s the case!

RadioPenguin · 08/09/2021 19:57

For a 1 hour settle I wouldn't expect for sun cream to be applied. You should have done that before she arrived.
With the water- Did she not get a cup of water? That would have been available for the children. The staff should have encouraged her to have a drink at some point.
The fruit I assume would be for snack time? Perhaps it just hadn't been cleared away yet?
The keyworker should have offered up some feedback about the session. Just a quick 30 second rundown.

Raspberries27 · 08/09/2021 19:58

I was coming on to say I had this feeling every time my dcs started a new school / nursery and had it again this term when my youngest went back to his preschool. Just a bad, gut feeling and I'd find any reason at all to talk myself into pulling them out! In my case it was all in my head.

But, the water and suncream would bother me. Especially the keyworker shrugging it off. You'd think she'd say if they were refilling her water throughout the day since you specifically asked her.

NatashaRf · 08/09/2021 19:58

Was this another 1 hour though?

For an hour I wouldn't be sending suncream - your job to do beforehand.

And surely even with a drink before and after isn't the end of the world. But on a hot day I'd expect them to have access to water.

Raspberries27 · 08/09/2021 19:59

Oh hang on...this was just one hour? Sorry, I missed that part of your op and thought this was the first full day!

saraclara · 08/09/2021 20:01

She'd only been there an hour though?

I'd expect a bit more info about how she'd been, but not for stuff in her bag to have been used.

FuckingFlumps · 08/09/2021 20:04

I agree with other posters it seems a lot of angst over just an hour.

It's perfectly possible they offered her a drink and she didn't want it, even when it's warm a child would not be made to drink every hour and I wouldn't have expected them to apply suncream surely you should have done that beforehand.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/09/2021 20:06

Check if they are supposed to put their water bottles somewhere... mine have always had to put them on a certain table.

LakeShoreD · 08/09/2021 20:07

Was it an hour settle session? If yes then you’re being bonkers. Of course they wouldn’t be expected to apply suncream in that time. You put it on in the morning and depending on their policy they might reapply after lunch. They’re also not going to be following her around all the time with her bottle although they should get it for her if she asks and do regular drink breaks but if she was only there an hour I wouldn’t expect there to necessarily be one. I also wouldn’t expect them to be chasing up the loo in an hour, only maybe if a few hours have passed and she hasn’t been.

ifoundthebread · 08/09/2021 20:08

At my sons nursery they have to have cream applied before school. We do sign permission forms for school to reapply if out in the sun for long periods of time, but this wouldn't apply in a 1 hour session. His nursery also have a small table off to the side where they have access to cups of water/very diluted juice even if they take their own water bottle. I wouldn't of expected her to be changed or anything with just that session unless a toileting accident happened, a lit of children do regress spending time in an unfamiliar surrounding, took my oldest over a year to get into the swing of how school worked and going to the toilet etc.

Tumbleweed101 · 09/09/2021 18:16

Staff would have assumed you'd applied suncream for an hour setting session. Check their policy too. For example, We have nursery suncream which we apply to all children who have been given consent to have it both morning and afternoon (and if there is lots of water play on very hot days). Children who don't sign up to this are expected to have a 12hr cream applied before arriving.

Water is avaliable at all times for drinking. We wouldn't look in a bag for a drink, a thirsty child would be offered a cup of water. We stopped bottles as so many were being shared between the children if they had free access to them. Children don't care whose they grab!

Fruit like apples tends to be going brown by end of snack sessions but is always cut just as they are sitting down.

New children are either shy and upset or want to explore everything! Your daughter sounds like she had fun and the staff would have had water on offer.

teezletangler · 09/09/2021 18:20

An hour will fly by in a nursery setting. I wouldn't assume anything from one hour of not having a drink! You'd have a point if she had been there all morning.

FfrothiCoffi · 09/09/2021 18:21

Extra sun cream for an hour settling session? YABU.
My 2 year old does 3 hour sessions, 3 days a week. I apply sun cream before he goes and don’t expect them to reapply in that period.
We also don’t send water, they have jugs and cups out for the children.

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 09/09/2021 18:21

It was an hour. You are being way OTT.

Notapheasantplucker · 09/09/2021 18:26

They wouldn't have had much to tell you if she'd only been there an hour...

FfrothiCoffi · 09/09/2021 18:28

An hour will fly by with a child exploring and looking at the toys. I’m not surprised they didn’t have much to tell you.

thinkbiglittleone · 09/09/2021 18:30

It would not be an issue for me if my child didn't have a drink within three hour, however it would very much be an issue for me that they didn't know if she had had a drink or not, they should know that, or someone surely should.

It would be a no from me, if on day one you get that feeling, listen to it.

MyMabel · 09/09/2021 18:31

We’re asked to suncream the kids before they go in, also DD’s water bottle I send her with doesn’t get touched but they give cups of water throughout the day which is fine with me. They also give me a briefing when they being her out at the end of the “she been really good today, really happy played with XYZ, had A Lunch and B for tea, ate and drank well all day” is usually along the same lines most days.

thinkbiglittleone · 09/09/2021 18:32

Oh and i would expect a little chat of "oh she loved the trains", she played in the kitchen or with building blocks, she seemed a bit shy or she seemed happy.
You don't expect war and peace, but you expect a little bit to go on.

BingBongToTheMoon · 09/09/2021 18:39

Nursery probably wont apply sun cream. That should be done before she goes.
Water will always be available…and again to repeat the others, she was only there an hour, maybe she didn’t want a drink?
Also yes, some children do regress and have toilet accidents when they start nursery as they’re super busy doing stuff that they can forget to go and it’s all new they might be unsure of the toilets at first. That is to be expected.

AngelDelightUk · 09/09/2021 18:43

If it was another hour session I imagine she was having too much fun than to stop for a drink. There wouldn’t have been much for them to say. If she was happy I’d go by that tbh

FTEngineerM · 09/09/2021 18:46

Whilst I would expect some narrative as to what she got up to, we get ‘he loved climbing on the frame outside today, and he was cheering when we sorted the shape right’ type of thing, I wouldn’t be bothered about no cream or water. It was literally an hour.

It’s hard sending your child to someone else to care for them for you, it will get better though.

Invisimamma · 09/09/2021 18:48

She was only there an hour so they would expect her to be wearing suncream and not need it to be reapplied.

At my sons Preschool all the water bottles were kept in a tray near the kitchen for children to help themselves when they want a drink. Check with them that you weren't meant to leave the bottle somewhere for her?

I don't get why all the description about your daughter being grown up and advanced is relevant.

It seems you are expecting a lot from an hour settling session. If you want 1 on 1 maybe a nanny would be a better option?

Give it a chance. When she's there all day I'd expect a feedback diary or app to share photos and updates , suncream to be applied during the day, drinks and snacks etc. But not for one hour settling session!

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