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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

2 year old started pre-school but bad gut feeling

45 replies

nataliejo · 08/09/2021 19:38

Hi,

Not posted before but looking for some advice as not sure if I’m over thinking?

I have been unsure wether to send my daughter to preschool but decided to bite the bullet and sign her up. I don’t need the childcare I thought it just might be a good place for her to socialise etc.

I, nor her health visitors have any concerns about her and she is a very grown up 2 year old (she turns 3 in December)
She is fully potty trained and in my eyes so different to others her age - she just seems older perhaps because she’s often been around adults.

The pre-school offered her 2 x 1 hour settling in sessions. We attended the first one where we stayed with her, and she went off and played and really loved it! I was happy.
I was telling her key worker she may need to ask if she needs the toilet as she may not come up and tell her as she is in a new environment and I was told most children regress when they start pre-school/nursery?
I wasn’t aware of this.

Then we had her second settling in session today and we left her. Now you’ll know it has been really hot today up to 28 degrees here.
I sent her with her backpack with some water and sun cream as well as spare clothes.
When I came back to pick her up she was all hot and sweaty which is expected on a hot day when she has been playing and having fun. I checked her bag which hadn’t been touched, so she hadn’t had any water or any sun cream applied despite playing outside majority of the time? I asked if she had had a drink and her key worker told me that she hadn’t been hanging around them and had been doing her own thing.

To me this sounds like they aren’t even watching her? I felt really guilty and sad that she must have been thirsty and hot.

They also had snacks out which was some fruit but it had gone all brown.

I don’t know wether I’m just over thinking but I feel like they aren’t really watching her? Her key worker couldn’t tell me anything, I was expecting her to tell me about how she got on etc but I was the one having to ask questions.

What do you think? Any advice appreciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Booknooks · 09/09/2021 19:01

You should apply suncream before the session, if it was just an hour it's not unreasonable that they hadn't reapplied any. It is hot, but it won't do any harm not drinking for an hour, and i am sure she would have said if she wanted a drink. Its worth checking procedure on that one though. It is hard loosening the reigns and accepting things are different in a setting to at home, there are more children for the nursery to think about.

Goldbar · 09/09/2021 19:07

Honestly, I think YABU. It's only an hour... she should have sun cream applied when she goes and she should be able to get by without a drink/snack for an hour though I would expect water to be freely available if she's thirsty.

I would expect the staff to be able to tell you a bit more about what's she's been up to, though. For the rest, just ask them... what is their sun cream policy, how often is it reapplied, do they encourage the children to drink water? They will have a policy on all of this.

Tonkerbea · 09/09/2021 19:31

Preschool isn't necessary for socialising! Playing at friends houses, going to groups, seeing family all counts. Lots of children go for the first time when free hours kick in.

Staff won't have time to monitor children as closely as parents do, and sometimes that can be a good thing for independence to flourish, though I agree with your misgivings about not having access to water.

Iworkedhardforwhatihave · 09/09/2021 19:34

She was only there an hour? Surely she didn’t need sun cream reapplied because you’d have put it on her before you dropped her off?

The water, again, it was an hour?

Namechange13101 · 11/09/2021 18:19

Like everyone else has said for a 1 hour settle I’d expect you to have applied sun cream before she attended and with water our preschool puts all the bottles on the table and children just help themselves as and when but to be honest I wouldn’t expect my 3 year old to have a drink in a 1 hour session somewhere new as she’d be too engrossed in playing with all the new toys/children!

GotToGoBye · 11/09/2021 18:32

It was only an hour, I think you are overthinking.
Put suncream on them in the morning if it’s sunny.

GotToGoBye · 11/09/2021 18:32

You can’t dehydrate in an hour.

Original poster

nataliejo · 11/09/2021 19:15

Imo I think even though it was her settling in sessions they should WANT to make an impression, surely? But there was no effort made, no information given to me and as I stated I was told she was off doing her own thing and they didn’t actually know what she had been doing. To me this sounds like they aren’t watching her, anything can happen in the split of a second.
I understand about the sun cream and now think yes a bit OTT, I had applied before she went in but I was mostly taken aback how there was no access to drinks and the lack of communication. Surely this would be a red flag to any parent?

OP posts:

crazyguineapiglady · 11/09/2021 19:26

I would double check about the drinks - they almost certainly do have access to water. Ask them where the drinks are kept and make sure your DD knows.
When they sit down for meals and snacks they will make sure they have a drink then. I don't think it is reasonable to expect staff to keep track of who has had a sip of water during 1 hour of free play time though.

If you didn't feel you had detailed enough feedback then let them know. Personally, being told my child was happy and had been off playing or exploring the garden would have been enough feedback for me. I wouldn't expect to know that first they played on the slide, then they went in the sandpit, then they went inside etc etc.

FuckingFlumps · 11/09/2021 19:27

Surely this would be a red flag to any parent?

I think your expectations are too high personally, none of what you've said would worry me.

It doesn't sound like they were not watching her in my opinion, it sounds like she was thoroughly engrossed in the activities and getting involved in everything so they couldn't think of anything specifically she has been doing.

If you want someone watching her all the times then a group setting is never going to work for you.

crazyguineapiglady · 11/09/2021 19:31

Also keep in mind that there isn't going to be one adult with them at all times, care is shared between all the adults.
So adult A is in the garden and sees child pottering around a bit
Adult B is changing nappies/toileting so didn't see the child at all
Adult C is doing a craft activity inside so sees child playing in the home corner but doesn't really interact with them as they don't come to the table
Adult D is manning the snack table and asks child if they want a snack but they aren't interested and want to keep playing

So the child is supervised at all times and staff see she is happy and off playing, but no one adult can say exactly what she's been doing the whole hour.

santabetterwashhishands · 11/09/2021 19:35

As if they are going to apply sun cream when she's only there an hour 😳
You can get sunscreen you only have to apply once a day so maybe purchase some of that and apply it yourself.
Also they don't need a drink in 60 minutes 🤷‍♀️

reighn · 11/09/2021 19:39

I myself got this feeling too due to her being with me every second of they'll day, I wouldn't say " different for her age" it's very common for kids that age to be potty trained both mine was potty trained before 2 there no different from anyone else.

Southwestrunningmum · 11/09/2021 19:40

For one hour…..

TrashKitten10 · 11/09/2021 20:06

I think it's a shame they couldn't give you a little description of her session but I honestly wouldn't consider anything you've said a 'red flag'

The sun cream, as you've acknowledged, should have been applied by you prior to her session and there's no way they would have reapplied it for the 1 hour she was in. You need to check their policies for what they do about sun cream on a normal day.

Even in hot weather I wouldn't be fussing around children to get them to drink that frequently. In our 3 hour sessions if it was hot we would sit them down midway through for a drink and then again at the end. They had free access to their water bottles and rolling snack with milk but wouldn't always choose to drink during their playtime and I wouldn't be running around after them to force the issue. Staff don't have the time to be offering drinks every few minutes and it disrupts children's play. An hour really isn't a long time to go without a drink IMO, but I would be expecting staff to make sure she had drunk once she's on 3+ hour sessions.

I'd be really chuffed that she had a positive settling session, enjoyed herself and was clearly engaged and busy. Maybe use this opportunity to ask staff what they use for learning journals and recording children's activities as you'd love to be kept in the loop with what she is doing during her time there :)

BastardMonkfish · 11/09/2021 20:14

@nataliejo

Imo I think even though it was her settling in sessions they should WANT to make an impression, surely? But there was no effort made, no information given to me and as I stated I was told she was off doing her own thing and they didn’t actually know what she had been doing. To me this sounds like they aren’t watching her, anything can happen in the split of a second. I understand about the sun cream and now think yes a bit OTT, I had applied before she went in but I was mostly taken aback how there was no access to drinks and the lack of communication. Surely this would be a red flag to any parent?

Yeah but it's a safe environment? They aren't going to be sat staring at your DD for an hour, they've got a room full of kids to look after.

reighn · 11/09/2021 20:28

There's usually 4 teachers to a group of 8, they cannot sit and watch 1 child out of 30 children to report what they have done all day, it's there job to watch all the children you cannot possibly expect them to watch every child in the whole class on them playing.

LakeShoreD · 11/09/2021 20:48

If you’re not ready to send her then don’t, stick with toddler groups for socialising and come back to pre school when she’s 3 to get ready for starting school. From what you’ve posted it really sounds like the issue is with you not wanting to leave her yet. And that’s fine! Just don’t make it about the pre school not looking after the kids properly because nothing you’ve posted suggests that’s even remotely true.

GoWalkabout · 11/09/2021 20:59

This is a pre-school right, not a nursery setting? The kind that runs sessions for a few hours for a low price locally? Check these things out with them but I would think its sun cream on before you go, a drink and a snack at a set time and no 1:1 care, just a free play environment, some group activities and maybe some help to go to toilet. They don't tend to run a keyworker system like nurseries do, not in my day anyway. Give it some time and learn how it works though.

FfrothiCoffi · 11/09/2021 21:10

The pre school we use has a keyworker system, but it’s still very different to a nursery environment. My 2 year old does 3 3 hour sessions a week and I rarely get anything except ‘yeah he’s been fine’ but I’m good with that! My 2 older children went from 2 as well and all of them have loved it.

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