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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Son left nursery today, and I am a little annoyed

31 replies

Henni19 · 25/08/2021 21:15

My 3yo left nursery today to move to the school preschool.
Hes been there 4 days a week for over 2 years and I've spent just over £1000 a month on fees.
Their lack of communication has been pretty bad but since covid it has been terrible. I haven't had a clue who his key worker is from 1 week to the next etc.
Different staff bring him out daily. He's been really unsettled since Jan and getting very upset about going which is the main reason we have pulled him.
I had a meeting with the manager a few months back who acknowledged things haven't been at their usual standard and assured me it would get better but didn't.
Today was his final day.
We took gifts in for the staff and children. I had requested this morning that all his stuff for new preschool would be emailed to me today.
I collected him tonight and his key worker didn't even come out, one of the apprentices did with a pack. I got home to find it was pretty much all the paperwork I sent in when he was a baby. Hardly anything about him apart from a report his key worker did last week with all the 'Secure' and 'emerging' comments but not a single note on him, as in the back page where it talks about him was totally empty.
I've had not a single piece of artwork sent home since covid and was expecting that to be In there. Again, nothing. I rang the nursery and the manager said "oh sorry. I'll see if the girls can find any if his work lying about and if we do we will email you to collect it".
Aibu to think this is all just a bit of a crappy end to his nursery life or was I expecting too much!?

OP posts:

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kitkatsky · 25/08/2021 21:23

You're not unreasonable to expect him to be happy and settled at nursery, though I'd argue he's upset because of covid issues outside of the nursery's control. Re everything else I don't think what you pay is relevant. Now your son isn't there you can accept and move on or cause a stink but I'd argue the things you have a right to be upset about should've been challenged before now and I'm not sure what you want to achieve by challenging now

MrsPumpkinSeed · 25/08/2021 21:27

It's a bit rubbish but I leave it.
Your son will be happy in his new preschool. I would just put it behind you.
We all spend that amount on childcare. Some more and some less.

Hellotoallmyfans · 25/08/2021 21:30

Yes, that sounds really poor and I'd be upset too. When my dcs left their preschools they made a huge fuss and and were given lovely books full of their learning progress, funny things they'd said and done, artwork, photos, etc - I still look at them now years later. I think we were lucky they just happened to go to a great playgroup.

I'm not sure what can be done now (though I wouldnt shy away from telling people you know about your experience?) but you have every right to be annoyed and upset. The early years are so precious and if your dc spend a decent amount of time with other people it's only natural to want to know a bit about what goes on there - everyone wants to feel that their child matters.

ClemDanFango · 25/08/2021 21:30

That’s so sad, when my little ones leave they get a certificate and personal leavers report plus a small gift from the team (we all chip in a £1). Sounds like they’re having staffing issues and probably using new staff/agency to cover isolators. Sorry you’ve have a crap experience OP.

Bathtimebillie · 25/08/2021 21:34

I can understand why it's disappointing. But you knew things were going downhill so I'm not sure you could expect any better.

Disneycharacter · 25/08/2021 21:37

I'd be disappointed but wouldn't insist on paperwork that's really not going to be of much use to preschool. He will hopefully get more from actual school.

Northernsoullover · 25/08/2021 21:39

I'd be pissed off too. My children are teens now but leaving nursery was quite emotional (for me). We had a lovely card made by the children and staff and I think they had a tea party. It definitely wasn't a 'see ya then'

Zorinindustries · 29/08/2021 06:53

I know leaving nursery is emotional for the parents, but some people on here expect far too much.
OP, your experience isn't great, but not terrible. I assume you had some kind of on line system whilst he was there, so all his learning and development will be recorded on that for all time for you to keep.
For artwork, it's a shame you didn't get any, but for many children it's the process that counts and not the end product, so perhaps he didn't have much to bring home anyway.
Those parents expecting parties and the staff who give £1 donations for each child? Well.we had 38 leave for school this year. That's a lot of parties and an awful lot of money to expect the staff to give!

We make a card from the nursery, and have a graduation party for the school leavers, but for those leaving at other times, it's a card from the manager and perhaps one from the staff in the room. Not individual presents and parties.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 29/08/2021 07:00

My daughter left nursery in July to start school in September and it was exactly the same for us.
We’ve had nothing sent home all year other than the progress report. No art work. No cards. Nothing.
I assumed they’d send it all home with her on the last day but she was just waved off.
It was a bit deflating. She didn’t care though x

MistyFrequencies · 29/08/2021 07:02

I'm surprised at other comments and think you are being quite precious really. He left nursery, he didn't graduate college.
Mine went to a great nursery and they got a "bye and good luck". They could have 30 leaving at one time, to personalize for each is a high expectation.

WTF475878237NC · 29/08/2021 07:05

This is crappy but appreciating the situation I would have been asking about this stuff as time went on ie we're in a pandemic so what's the plan with the things he's making every week? Did you not want updates on his development in real time? I'm not sure how it's only coming to light after 2 years they haven't been updating his records.

CarryOnNurse20 · 29/08/2021 07:06

That’s a shame OP. Due to covid my DC was in a new nursery for 6 months before leaving for preschool and only 2 days a week. She was still given a lovely card, certificate of ‘graduation’ and we had a report (I’m pretty sure if they’re in a EYFS setting they HAVE to send a report on to preschool?) which was very personalised. YANBU to feel like you do. Sadly some nurseries are less organised and less professional than others (although arguably if they kids are happy and settled and well looked after it doesn’t matter too much). I’d try somewhere else if you have any more DC.

CarryOnNurse20 · 29/08/2021 07:08

PS would absolutely not expect a gift or anything especially out the nursery staff pocket! But usually there’s a few leaving at once so they have a process. I have had friends who’s kids have a full ‘graduation’ which I always think is a bit OTT.

howtodealwithit · 29/08/2021 07:11

The report was poor - Staff completed the EYFS tracking, but didn't give any actual feedback? That's pretty sad. Personally, when I complete something like that, I do the tracking and then write a detailed report usually giving little details, like the child's favourite area of the room, the bond they have with staff/children and the funny little things they do.

With regards to your child being brought out by different members of staff- has that changed?
In our nursery school we have Key children, but ultimately work as a team, so unless there is a specific reason why the key person needs to talk to the parent, any one of us will take the child out at pick up. Key workers (in our nursery) know their children well, are the ones who complete all of the EYFS tracking but on a day to day basis we all just work together.

Bellagonna · 29/08/2021 07:12

Do they not have to collate that stuff for the folder to do the assessments? Our nursery do, and we get to look at 'the folder' about once a term if we want to and we get given it to keep on the move up to the next room.

Mintjulia · 29/08/2021 07:14

I didn't get any artwork either but wasn't expecting any. Can you imagine how many pieces of paper a class of nursery children produce in a year. Surely it all goes in the recycling at the end of each week.

I think you're being a little bit unrealistic, especially in a covid year with people on and off sick leave and self-isolation.

Tataru · 29/08/2021 07:15

That's a shame. Our nursery has a progress book thing for each child with loads of info in, and we get to see it and sign it every so often. We've also had artwork home and get a bigger bundle every so often as they save them in folders, as well as cards/gifts DD has made for various events like Mother's Day, Christmas, etc.

It doesn't sound like an overly great place.

HungryHippo11 · 29/08/2021 07:19

Yeah thats pretty rubbish, but if it's been rubbish for the past year and a half I probably would have said something before now, its a bit late now really.

My daughter hasn't really attended preschool. She started Jan last year to do 2 mornings a week and was supposed to up to 3 mornings in September, giving her 20 months in total. Due to lockdowns and various other things she has done barely 9 months of preschool, 2 mornings only and those mornings were shortened, plus she missed loads of extra days because we took her for day trips out (our choice). So she was barely there.
Our preschool still made her a book with pictures of what she had done, sent home artwork periodically and a goodbye card.

Mummytomylittlegirl · 29/08/2021 07:20

I understand why that would upset you. We relocated to DD had to leave the nursery she had been at since 11 months (she was 2.5). They adored her and we got books, a pack with all her pictures. They genuinely cared for her and I’m still sad we had to leave but her new nursery is equally as lovely.

Do they not have tapestry? As that can be transferred and will have all the relevant development stuff?

HungryHippo11 · 29/08/2021 07:20

@Mintjulia

I think you're being a little bit unrealistic, especially in a covid year with people on and off sick leave and self-isolation.

Ours send it home weekly so they don't have to store everything.

Debetswell · 29/08/2021 07:23

@Henni19 for those saying your precious I disagree.
Your dc spent almost half of his life in that nursery.
It's not just a childcare facility.
It's supposed to be a place for him to thrive and socialise. To reach milestones.
Of course you want to have some memories to keep.
I think it sounds a very shoddy nursery.

Debetswell · 29/08/2021 07:25

you're

PatchworkElmer · 29/08/2021 07:29

YANBU, although I suspect we’re in for similar when my son leaves his nursery next week 🙄

Mummytomylittlegirl · 29/08/2021 07:31

[quote Debetswell]@Henni19 for those saying your precious I disagree.
Your dc spent almost half of his life in that nursery.
It's not just a childcare facility.
It's supposed to be a place for him to thrive and socialise. To reach milestones.
Of course you want to have some memories to keep.
I think it sounds a very shoddy nursery.[/quote]
Agree those early years are so special. I think you should expect the nursery to care and make a fuss about your child leaving. It’s a huge part of their life and all the key workers we have had see it as a privilege to watch a child grow/ learn, and would absolutely come to speak to the family as well as organise a leaving pack.

gogohm · 29/08/2021 07:42

Leaving report fair enough, not sure why you expected any more except a verbal good luck? There may be protocol for those leaving for school but he wasn't

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