DT2 has had her hair cut by a boy at nursery - what to do?

[inamuckingfuddle]

My twin girls (4 next month) go to our village day nursery 3 days a week adn we are hoping to send them full time from Jan. They are happy there and only ever complain about 1 boy, who stamps on hands, kicks etc, all of which we have tried not to get worked up about, reasoning that this is not entirely unexpected for a 4yo boy. Today they came home and I noticed DT2's fringe was shorter than normal - I asked about it and she went very quiet, I talked her through it and it turns out that this boy has taken it on himself to cut her fringe whilst they were tidying up. Now, there are several things wrong here - lack of supervision, 4yos with scissors etc etc. I am inclined to go in and complain quite vociferously, but am also aware that he couldn't have cut her fringe without her compliance - I know, I've tried it! Any thought about how to handle this?

I would be annoyed about one of my girls having their hair cut but really worried that a child had a pair of scissors unsupervised in his hands long enough to do that.

I would be very worried about the lack of supervision! Whether she consented or not they should not be left alone with scissors.

What did the staff say?

Quite! Apparently the boy was made to sit in the corner and DT2 was told it would grow back DH wants to 'sue the bstards and get the little fcker excluded' so I think I will have to deal with this one!

I don't know what "normal" policy for scissor use access would be, but whatever that policy is, I would be livid that a child was able to cut another's hair without being noticed by the staff - because presumably if they had noticed, they'd have told you? Even if she had complied, it's not up to 3 year olds to decide they want a hair cut from one of their peers! I think you have to speak to the nursery about it.

staff said nothing about it to DH when he picked them up, which is another concern

Yes, the non-supervision of using scissors is unacceptable - it's lucky he didn't catch her eyes. I would definitely say something.

I'm also shocked that the staff failed to mention it

< thought I'd join you over here, saves you having the same conversation twice!>

Just have to post quickly to say that I would be livid about this if it happened to one of my dcs. I would book a meeting with the nursery leader pronto.

4 yr olds can have access to scissors BUT under supervision ! You must say something , totally unacceptable .

Speak to the manager tomorrow. Unsupervised Children with scissors is a recipe for disaster! I hope she does not look too bad - I once cut mine right off so I had spikes I was probably about the same age.

he could have had her eye out I would be furious and it would be my dh dealing with this cos I would be there with yours sorting the little bugger out

speak to the manager asap....even phone her tonight if you have her number....this is completely unacceptable for so many reasons....but I don't have time to state them as I am late!!!!

Thanks for all your replies, I will be speaking to her tomorrow, either in person or on the phone. Apparently he got the scissors from the manager's office in the first place and its not the first time its happened...am inclined to demand his removal for the safety of other children, but will request appropriate supervision first

IMF I'd be furious. Totally unacceptable to leave them unsupervised long enough for him to cut her hair. It doesn't matter if she complied or not, he shouldn't have had the opportunity. Give them hell. The mood I'm in I'll do it for you. I can't believe the nursery didn't mention it, did they really think you wouldn't notice? I thought any specifically bad behaviour had to be reported to both the victim and the culprit's parents, it certainly is at my DCs nursery, in case the child takes similar action outside of the setting.

thanks piximon, I am concerned that his parents may have absolutely no idea what he's like in nursery, this is something I will be raising with the manager tomorrow

Bloody hell ,even worse that he got them from managers office ! Kids have access to scissors but not grown up scissors !

Dont blame the boy's behaviour for all of the incident the nursery have alot to explain as to how a four year old can have access to a managers office , especailly if he has done it before !

Ask to have a look at their health & safety policy and daily risk assessments ! If this little boy has got into the office before then they should have dealt with the matter to stop him or any other child doing it again !

oh good point about their records, will do that thanks. Yes, I know I can't take it out on him entirely (that's why I won't let DH deal with it!) they are responsible for supervising the kids whilst there. Its a pretty small nursery too plenty of staff around usually.

Yikes! I thought you meant kids rounded scissors that they were just putting away!
That is frightening

'am inclined to demand his removal for the safety of other children' he cut her fringe.... he's not a mass murderer!! Its the supervision that needs to be looked at not demanding removal of a child. Get a grip.

What Wags said.

Oh I know wags, but am also aware that my twins come home every day and tell me something that he's done, like walked across their hands, kicked their leg, pushed them...I've noticed that DT1 is more aggressive after a couple of days there and it is a concern, not to mention the fact that he could have done her serious harm if she'd struggled and the scissors had slipped

Supervision issues aside, "the boy was made to sit in the corner and DT2 was told it would grow back" is perfectly appropriate.

Oh dear..

Well at this age hair cutting is just so so tempting. I know, because dd cut a big chunk out of her own hair in the two minutes my back was turned.

So not really the little boy's fault but cause for concern are the scissors he was using - adult ones from the office and a big black mark for not even mentioning it to you. That is not right at all.