DT2 has had her hair cut by a boy at nursery - what to do?

[inamuckingfuddle]

My twin girls (4 next month) go to our village day nursery 3 days a week adn we are hoping to send them full time from Jan. They are happy there and only ever complain about 1 boy, who stamps on hands, kicks etc, all of which we have tried not to get worked up about, reasoning that this is not entirely unexpected for a 4yo boy. Today they came home and I noticed DT2's fringe was shorter than normal - I asked about it and she went very quiet, I talked her through it and it turns out that this boy has taken it on himself to cut her fringe whilst they were tidying up. Now, there are several things wrong here - lack of supervision, 4yos with scissors etc etc. I am inclined to go in and complain quite vociferously, but am also aware that he couldn't have cut her fringe without her compliance - I know, I've tried it! Any thought about how to handle this?

Hair cutting is fairly normal at this age though isn't it? My ds snipped dd's hair quite radically once, and dh who was looking after them really didn't notice and that was one to two supervision. I think that you shoud demand an explanation/apology, but children can do things quite fast if they choose, and if your dd was happy to go along with it then it could have happened without a huge laspe in supervision. Obviously if there is an issue with the office being too accessible this should be addressed.

I think you need to be really careful to focus your discussion with the nursery on their role in this, not on whether the boy concerned is a PITA. You should be questionning their supervision, their lack of security, and their failure to report a serious incident to you. If they start blaming the 4 year old boy then I would seriously consider removing my children from the nursery as these things are their responsibility, not his. You can't let people who blame their supervisory failings on what, as you have already pointed out is, not abnormal 4 year old behaviour! I also believe it's not your place to demand, or even request, action in respect of children other than your own. If you doubt the nursery's ability to handle it appropriately, you shouldn't be sending your children there.

firt of all I thought, these things happen
my niece got her friend to cut her hair once, it was her first day before school!!!
and it it totally impossible to expect every child to be watched every second they are at nursery, theyll have a lot of children to watch.
BUT
I am concerned about the access to the office
we have high handles on our doors so children cant escape.
also if this child has a bit of a reputation then he should be watched more than the others.

you cant demand exclusion for this other child, all the laws in this country say he will be entitled to the same education blah blah
however - you can ask to see their exclusion and or behaviour policy.
if he continues with his behaviour then the nursery are well in their rights to go through a process to exclude.

BUT - we dont even know what is going on with this child, does his parents even know? has the nursery spoken to them before?

whatever, I think you should ask what they are going to do about the whole situation and how they are going to put steps into place to ensure it doesnt happen again..

good luck

I wouldn't be worried about the hair cutting - it's what kids do if they get the chance, BUT, they should not get the chance - the nursery haven't definitely been negligent in their supervision here.

I'd complain vociferously about 4yo getting hold of scissors unsupervised and particularly fetching them from the office. WTF?

OK spoke to mursery manager this morning, she knew nothing about it, DT2 tried to stop me talking to her by putting her hand over my mouth. I rang later and DT2 has told nursery that she did it herself in her bedroom how I don't know - they don't have access to scissors unless we're with them and I would have noticed the hair, it gets everywhere doesn't it?! So feeling a bit as not sure what's really going on. Either she's scared to tell nursery, or she's lying to me, either way Thanks for all the advice ladies

IAMF - hope you are ok and get it resolved. wow can't dts be naughty???? I can't wait