Nursery lied about child being ill

JP110 · 2020-12-17T12:30:45+00:00

hi there, I need some advice as I really am unsure what to do. Yesterday my DS (2.5yr old) went to nursery not ill and happy, but about 3pm I got a call to say he'd done 3x loose stools in his nappy and with their policy he has go home and not attend the next day too. I'd checked his diary on the famly app they use and no mention of 3x poos, just the usual WET ones. It's always filled in straight away after, so I asked when he did them when I picked him up. they said 1x morning and 2 afternoon. When I got home I checked again and the missing morning one was added to the diary along with the 1 afternoon one which I'd seen and another one before I picked him up. He did a solid one in the morning and nothing else when he was home. I'm 99.9% sure they're lying and hate the idea I've been lied to especially as it cost us a full day (£80) for the following day. The problem is they may just say they forgot to add it in so did it later, but they always fill it out at the time. I wonder if Famly has an time stamp for entries. thankfully work isn't too busy now, but any other time would be a huge inconvenience. He likes the nursery so wouldn't want to threaten to take him out, but it makes me mad!

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LassFromLeedsWithALustForLife · 17/12/2020 12:33

Why do you suspect that they’re lying- are they struggling with staffing numbers at the moment?

Kanaloa · 17/12/2020 12:35

When I worked in nurseries we often filled the diaries out automatically - maybe it was filled in incorrectly by mistake. Is there any other reason they might lie or want him to be sent home?

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 13:15

@Kanaloa

When I worked in nurseries we often filled the diaries out automatically - maybe it was filled in incorrectly by mistake. Is there any other reason they might lie or want him to be sent home?

it was just a feeling the moment I didn't see the morning entry, combined with the fact he'd been fine in the morning, no loose poos after at home either, and then they added the morning poo one once he'd left after I spoke to them, when clearly they'd added wet ones in the morning but not this morning one. Plus they looked pretty full without the usual amount of staff in, so who knows, I'm just confident he didn't have 3x loose poos.

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Meredithgrey1 · 17/12/2020 13:19

But what do you think their motivation would be for lying?

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 13:25

@Meredithgrey1

But what do you think their motivation would be for lying?

I have no idea, except possibly they were short staffed, or maybe because he had a little cough which spooked them? Either way I think the poo was just a lie for another unjustifiable reason to send him home.

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CoffeeCheeseandCupcakes · 17/12/2020 13:27

@Kanaloa

When I worked in nurseries we often filled the diaries out automatically - maybe it was filled in incorrectly by mistake. Is there any other reason they might lie or want him to be sent home?

Yes. I'd be more likely to assume they clicked the wrong button when they logged a wet nappy than that they are lying.

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 13:33

I get what you're saying, but as mentioned it was a NEW entry and the WET ones are still there. If it was your child would you not get a bit suspicious that his morning one at home was solid and the next one the next day was fine too, combined with all the other evidence mentioned above it stinks more than the nappy itself!

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Invisimamma · 17/12/2020 13:35

You say he had a 'little cough' ? Has a had a covid test? If not he absolutely should not be in nursery and they were right to send him home (although they should state cough as the reason, not the loose nappies).

mistermagpie · 17/12/2020 13:35

I wouldn't have thought they were lying but it's a bit odd.

Mind you, my DDs nursery called a few weeks ago and said she 'wasn't herself' and maybe I should come and pick her up. I was at work and it wasn't easy to leave, so I quizzed them a bit about what 'not herself' meant (she's also my third child so I'm the opposite of pfb by now!) and they didn't really have an answer. They suggested she might be teething but couldn't really describe any behaviours other than her being 'a bit grumpy'. I said I wasn't going to pick her up on that basis because she sounded ok and teething is normal (she just turned one).

When I went to pick her up it turned out that a child in another bubble had Covid so staff were off and they were struggling because of that. I don't think there was anything wrong with DD at all but they thought I might be able to pick her up because I work from home.

Ironically I had been happy to change my DS hours at the same nursery temporarily the week before for the same reason, but in that scenario they asked me to accommodate it outright rather than being underhand.

It did surprise me.

YerAWizardHarry · 17/12/2020 13:35

So you think they've singled out your child to lie about his dirty nappies to get rid of him for a couple days? How odd

JamesMoriarty · 17/12/2020 13:36

When I worked in a nursery we logged all of this in a notebook or spreadsheet and then when we got a chance we'd fill out the individual diaries using the notes in the notebook/spreadsheet. If I had to call a parent and mention 3x soiled nappies then I might not mark it on the diary as I'd already informed the parent. I wouldn't assume lying anyway!

Heyahun · 17/12/2020 13:45

thats a bit weird to jump to the conclusion of them lying? I use the same app (work in a nursery) when it's busy we don't always have time to log everything on the app and have to do it asap when we can (we might just scribble it down on a notebook and get to the app when we have a second spare)
Easy to click the wrong thing when in a rush etc - i've even accidently forgotten to log the time a child wakes from a nap etc - it happens

they were probably more focused and getting your child cleaned up and making sure he was ok tbh rather than focusing on logging stuff in the bloody app

Bluntness100 · 17/12/2020 13:48

No I’d not assume they were lying I’d assume he has three loose stools, the fact he didn’t at home before or after is totally irrelevant. I’m sure you’ve had loose stools and must know this. I really can’t grasp why you think because it wasn’t at home it could not habe happened

Are you sure you’re not just pissed off because he’s been sent home?

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 13:57

@mistermagpie

I wouldn't have thought they were lying but it's a bit odd.

Mind you, my DDs nursery called a few weeks ago and said she 'wasn't herself' and maybe I should come and pick her up. I was at work and it wasn't easy to leave, so I quizzed them a bit about what 'not herself' meant (she's also my third child so I'm the opposite of pfb by now!) and they didn't really have an answer. They suggested she might be teething but couldn't really describe any behaviours other than her being 'a bit grumpy'. I said I wasn't going to pick her up on that basis because she sounded ok and teething is normal (she just turned one).

When I went to pick her up it turned out that a child in another bubble had Covid so staff were off and they were struggling because of that. I don't think there was anything wrong with DD at all but they thought I might be able to pick her up because I work from home.

Ironically I had been happy to change my DS hours at the same nursery temporarily the week before for the same reason, but in that scenario they asked me to accommodate it outright rather than being underhand.

It did surprise me.

My point exactly - I really wouldn't mind if they said they were short staffed and if they couldn't really take him the next day, or if they were concerned about his little cough - which wasn't the case. It's that I'm sure they've made something up and I'm paying for it!

Frustrating but I think I'll have to let it go as there's little way I can prove it as they will just say they added the poo entries at the end of the day (but why were the WET ones added at the time???).

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Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 14:15

I see there's a lot of replies from nursery workers who you quite rightly are sticking up for. That's fine and appreciate the difficulties you guys face, especially when parents send in sick children which I cannot abide as it puts staff and other children at risk. My gut instinct says it's bull, and then seeing the entries for BM clearly added afterwards confirmed my suspicions. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I doubt it. I cannot afford to pay for absent days as I work for myself, but will have to take it on the chin as there's nothing that I can prove for sure.

Thanks for the advice - still frustrated though.

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frolicmum · 17/12/2020 14:28

If I didn't trust the people my child is being looked after by, I would not send my child there in the first place.

I haven't read all the follow ups but mine goes to a childminders and I would trust the two ladies that look after him. If they believe he's not well and if they say he's pooped 3x and had loose stools, I would not doubt it.

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 14:29

@Bluntness100

No I’d not assume they were lying I’d assume he has three loose stools, the fact he didn’t at home before or after is totally irrelevant. I’m sure you’ve had loose stools and must know this. I really can’t grasp why you think because it wasn’t at home it could not habe happened

Are you sure you’re not just pissed off because he’s been sent home?

not at all pissed off for sending him home, I actually like hanging out with my kids. Pissed off at paying for a full day and a half when I am sure there was nothing wrong with him and most likely (in my opinion) at being lied to!

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ReeseWitherfork · 17/12/2020 14:32

I wouldn't assume my sons nursery were lying. Only because I'd have no reason to assume they were and the generally seem quite honest and transparent. Based on what you've said I would assume it was weird record keeping which could be a number of reasons. Have they got form for this sort of thing?

PumpkinHat · 17/12/2020 14:33

So do you have to pay if they are understaffed and can't have as many children in?
Im guessing if you don't have to pay in that scenario then that's why they've sent him home "unwell" so that they are not losing money.

JamesMoriarty · 17/12/2020 14:39

I haven't worked in a nursery for years, I'm just giving you insight into what could have happened.

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 14:39

@PumpkinHat - they legally have to have a certain number of staff for the amount of children. if there's a shortage of staff they have to get more in or reduce the amount of kids in.

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JamesMoriarty · 17/12/2020 14:43

Were they understaffed though?

Bluntness100 · 17/12/2020 15:33

I think what no one understands is why you’ve jumped to this conclusion. You do sound angry to be honest.

I’d agree with a pp, irrelevant of how much he likes it there, if you don’t trust these peoole. Which you don’t, then you need to remove him.

You’re on line accusing them of lying to get rid of a child and scam you out of money. If you feel like that find a new nursery.

Twizbe · 17/12/2020 15:48

I'm not sure I'd jump to them lying. My kids' nursery often completes the whole days app updates at the end of the day. I'll be honest I don't look at most of the updates, just the cute pictures lol.

If your first thought was them lying then perhaps it's not the right nursery for you.

Username7521 · 17/12/2020 15:54

Sorry but this is incredibly weird jump.
If you don’t think they are trustworthy I would pull my kid out.

Getting a call like that I wouldn’t assume they were lying. Mistakes happen!