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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Nursery lied about child being ill

50 replies

JP110 · 17/12/2020 12:30

hi there, I need some advice as I really am unsure what to do. Yesterday my DS (2.5yr old) went to nursery not ill and happy, but about 3pm I got a call to say he'd done 3x loose stools in his nappy and with their policy he has go home and not attend the next day too. I'd checked his diary on the famly app they use and no mention of 3x poos, just the usual WET ones. It's always filled in straight away after, so I asked when he did them when I picked him up. they said 1x morning and 2 afternoon. When I got home I checked again and the missing morning one was added to the diary along with the 1 afternoon one which I'd seen and another one before I picked him up. He did a solid one in the morning and nothing else when he was home. I'm 99.9% sure they're lying and hate the idea I've been lied to especially as it cost us a full day (£80) for the following day. The problem is they may just say they forgot to add it in so did it later, but they always fill it out at the time. I wonder if Famly has an time stamp for entries. thankfully work isn't too busy now, but any other time would be a huge inconvenience. He likes the nursery so wouldn't want to threaten to take him out, but it makes me mad!

OP posts:

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Seafog · 17/12/2020 15:56

It seems really odd to jump to 'they must be lying' instead of 'he must have a sore tummy, thanks for letting me know'.
Just because things were entered at a different time, which could have so many reasons, doesn't mean they would lie and send a child home.
Also twice now you have said about his little cough, if he is swallowing more mucus, he will have more soft movements.
Even supposing that was what they did, why would they pick yours as the one to send home?

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 16:29

I think it’s a bit extreme to say if you don’t trust them because of this then pull him out especially considering he likes it. It’s just disappointing to think it was made up but I take on board what some of you say about it may have just been entered later or incorrectly even though the wee ones were in there. It seems this is a bit of a one thread as I know of other parents having been lied to. Thanks all the same for the opinions

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JamesMoriarty · 17/12/2020 16:50

I understand the frustration but I just can't see them lying. It happened to my DS when he was in nursery and typically he was fine at home!
The wet ones will have happened at a set nappy changing time but obviously dirty nappies are random so the staff member may have been busy and updated later.

MitziK · 17/12/2020 17:08

if they were concerned about his little cough

He has a cough?

I don't think the staff are at fault here.

Looneytune253 · 17/12/2020 18:15

To be fair if they wanted your kid out of the nursery they could have just used the cough easy which would have given them a min of a cpl of days while you have a test etc. Can't imagine them making up diarrhoea just to get rid of a child with a cough

AnneElliott · 17/12/2020 21:39

I do t know about the apps (DS went to a childminder) but it's frustrating if you think there isn't anything wrong with him.

Our childminder used to get annoyed if I dropped DS off but was not at work. She'd then ring me and say he was unwell/ grumpy. I got round that by ensuring I always dropped off in work clothes.

Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 23:10

@AnneElliott

I do t know about the apps (DS went to a childminder) but it's frustrating if you think there isn't anything wrong with him.

Our childminder used to get annoyed if I dropped DS off but was not at work. She'd then ring me and say he was unwell/ grumpy. I got round that by ensuring I always dropped off in work clothes.

That's pretty bad, but I like your thinking re work clothes. Nice to get some other comments other than nursery workers on the defensive.

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Original poster

JP110 · 17/12/2020 23:15

@Looneytune253

The cough was most likely just the end of a cold which they were fine with and made aware of earlier in the week. Who knows, but I'm giving them the benefit of doubt as I could be wrong. There was just a lot that didn't add up.

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anothernc4you · 17/12/2020 23:19

I doubt very much they’d lie about that. My daughter had a solid poo one morning then when I picked her up they said she had 5 loose ones but as her nappy had been changed by different people they didn’t realise til the end of the day. They said if she had another loose one at home to keep her home for 48 hours but she didn’t. I have no reason to think they lied. She obv just had a bad tummy in the day then was better?

Apple40 · 17/12/2020 23:24

I once had this a parent told me I was lying and there was nothing wrong with her darling, she was really rude and shouting at me on my front door so I offered to get the nappies out of the bin for her to inspected ,funny enough she did not like that idea and she the went down with the “made up “ bug that night. Then slipped up a few days later and said dad had the bug a couple of days before. I did get an apology but for me the trust was gone and I felt I could not trust her to collect if I ever phoned her again about sickness or be honest if child was sick before coming in. I gave the family notice.

twitchypalm · 17/12/2020 23:37

@JP110 if you feel the nursery are lieing to you about his nappies being loose why would.you send him back there? We say at our nursery its s*s law. A child I'll.you call the parents to collect by the time.the parents get there they are bouncing off the walls. The nursery have nothing to gain by sending one child.home. you just sound pissed off you have had to.colllect him. You dont know.what his nappies were like at the nursery.

xmasnc2020 · 18/12/2020 00:22

'Nursery workers on the defensive' god you sound completely ridiculous!!

Why don't you just ask them if it's bothering you so much? You'll look like a right knob though and they'll never forget the time you accused them of lying.

Myshinynewname · 18/12/2020 00:55

So he had a cold earlier in the week and now he's coughing? That's the reason he's been sent home.

ineedaholidaynow · 18/12/2020 01:03

By the way COVID in children can frequently have stomach upset as a symptom

JamesMoriarty · 18/12/2020 12:32

I'm hardly a nursery worker on the defensive. Like I said I haven't worked in a nursery for years, I was just letting you know how it could have been missed on the diary. You should ask them and see what they say.

Original poster

JP110 · 18/12/2020 12:51

@JamesMoriarty

Apologies James, you've been more insightful and given me some food for thought, so thank you. It was just getting a bit one sided and people don't read the whole thread so seemed people were overreacting to the initial post. I've taken onboard what mentioned and will give them the benefit of the doubt, but this whole don't trust them take him out thing is getting a bit ridiculous tbh. It was just refreshing to get some other parents experience of similar underhand tactics, even if in my case it might well have been done to what you mentioned before. Thanks again all.

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Original poster

JP110 · 18/12/2020 12:53

*note to self... don't type out a message on the phone as I make too many grammatical mistakes! Apologies for the previous message!

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mooncakes · 18/12/2020 13:43

You shouldn't have sent him in with a cough!

It seems weird that they would lie and say he had an upset stomach to send him home, when they should have refused to take him with a cough anyway.

Fandabydosey · 18/12/2020 23:05

We are in the middle of a pandemic. Where V&D has been named as a possible symptom. How would you feel if you thought they kept a child at nursery with a cough and a fever this close to Christmas and they had ignored it and it was Covid 19? How furious would you be having to isolate over Christmas. The nursery have a duty of care to all staff and children. When children become poorly they generally get sick quite quickly.

blue25 · 18/12/2020 23:11

Strange post. Why are you so suspicious of them. Chill out and move on with your life.

17bluebirds · 19/12/2020 11:08

With a cough they should have sent him home for a test and you all should have self isolate for 10 days or until he had a negative result.
However, you suspect it was just the end of a cold.
The nursery staff probably agree with you, but the rules say the have to send him home.
By sending him home with an upset tummy, he is out of the setting, you dont have to self isolate and he can recover at home without them having to implement thier covid policy.
I think they were doing you a favour.

Tumbleweed101 · 21/12/2020 20:15

We don't use an app to monitor nappies etc but we would call a parent if we'd had a few loose nappies and they seemed unwell or not 'right'. It is to protect the other children as young children will pick things up from others extremely quickly.

Recently we sent a child home who woke from a nap pale and shivery with a slight temperature. Parents were horrible when they picked up that we'd made a fuss over nothing. An hour later they sheepishly called to say the child had been sick and was much more poorly than they'd thought so would be off the next day or so.

AnnaSW1 · 21/12/2020 20:29

I wouldn't assume they are lying at all. But if you don't trust these people to tell the truth then I would look to find a new nursery. I think you're barking up the wrong tree though.

Trailing1 · 21/12/2020 20:45

DD'S nursery log everything on an app, sometimes i will pick her up and they will tell me about her day and what she has done but some stuff wont show on the app until later that evening, or indeed the following day.
I would imagine same as previous posters have said, the nursery stagg may not have a chance up upload some thing straight away, or the apps sometimes mess up.

Fibbib · 30/12/2020 21:20

I have been a nursery worker for 20 years and if Management came to me and said let's pretend so and so had 3 dirty nappies as we are short staffed I would say no I am not lying.
We do an online care diary and we up date when we can but the children's care is priority. So sometimes it may just say nappy was changed at whatever time but not if it was wet or dirty. Not because I don't care but because the chi!dren are priority

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