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Original poster

Nursery closure, help?

50 replies

Pcosmum88 · 24/07/2019 07:03

I’m a single mum, my family live 120 miles away.
My 8mo daughter is in nursery and I work full time.

I spoke to my boss on the phone last week and let him know that nursery is closed 25/12 - 2/1, good Friday and Easter Monday.

I dropped him an email just so there was a paper trail of it.

He’s come back from holiday this morning and told me that I’ve put him in a tricky situation because he can’t be giving all the mothers that time off.

Except the other 2 mothers out of the team of 46 are both part time, one’s his wife, their child is in primary school and the other only works part time and her partner has the baby when she’s at work.

Part of me wishes they would just sack me so I don’t have to work under LOs dad and I don’t have to deal with this kind of discrimination.

I know there is a law to protect mothers from this type of problem, does anyone know what it is so I can educate myself as all I found on google were articles in The Sun about snow days Hmm

OP posts:
Thegracefuloctopus · 24/07/2019 07:09

I dont think the law covers whether you have certain days off if im honest. I think you just need to explain that if the nursery is closed and you have to work, you dd with be sat under the desk as there is no where else to send her. Then ask him what he would do if he was in your situation. Likelyhood is, you will end up getting it off, he is just testing the water to see if you could make other arrangements as he knows people without kids will kick off about it. (People without kids tend to not understand)

HunterHearstHelmsley · 24/07/2019 07:11

How does your workplace allocate Christmas and Easter leave?

Benes · 24/07/2019 07:19

There is no law which states you can have certain days off just because you're a parent.
You will have to request those days as annual leave. You're giving them plenty of notice.

Sirzy · 24/07/2019 07:26

If her dad works there surely you can split the time off needed?

I don’t think it’s fair to just expect to be able to have it off to be honest. Especially not at times of year when most people would want to be working as little as possible

SnuggyBuggy · 24/07/2019 07:31

There is no law giving parents priority for annual leave during Christmas. A good employer would insist on people taking turns to have leave over Christmas.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 24/07/2019 07:34

Unfortunately snow days aren't the same thing - if it was school you'd be covered by emergency parental leave protection although you might not get paid

I can understand his dilemma- doesn't matter if the other parent has children at primary school - they'll also have the same time off won't they as over those dates the schools will also be closed

I think you're being a bit unreasonable in expecting that you get priority in having those dates as holiday just because you are a single mother

Original poster
Pcosmum88 · 24/07/2019 07:37

My expectations are because I’m the only person who has a child in nursery and this is the one week the nursery is closed.

The mother of the primary school child gets most of the summer holidays, half terms etc off. Because she’s his wife.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pcosmum88 · 24/07/2019 07:39

As it stands I have no cover for childcare unless her dad helps. I can’t afford nursery and find a childminder for a full week on top at christmas

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 24/07/2019 07:40

If a small employer wants to give individuals favours (and risk pissing off other employees who get a worse deal) then that's on them. They aren't required to do so.

Sirzy · 24/07/2019 07:40

In the nicest way lack of childcare is your problem not your bosses

Do you expect to her every school holiday off?

Good job you have lots of notice to work a plan between you and her father

AuntieAvocado · 24/07/2019 07:41

There is no law which entitles you to the time off that you want.

You can take emergency parental leave when you have no childcare, but I’m not sure you’re entitled to that when the lack of childcare is known months in advance.

Try googling for parental leave, dependants leave, and leave for childcare.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 24/07/2019 07:44

You need to just submit annual leave in the usual way for those dates. If it comes back denied then ask if you can take 1 week emergency carers leave (unpaid). If that comes back denied (not sure what the laws are on that), then could you approach the Nursery staff and see if any of them will be willing to give you a price for ad hoc childcare on days the Nursery is shut?

ememem84 · 24/07/2019 07:45

Just put in for annual leave. That’s what most people have to do.

Childcare closure due to snow and because it’s christmas/bank holidays are two completely different things. One is a one off (probably) and the others are annual events.

I’m assuming you work in an industry where bank holidays aren’t given as standard (medical/emergency services/ hospitality maybe?) so how will you deal with the May bank holiday or the August one?

Original poster
Pcosmum88 · 24/07/2019 07:50

Nursery isn’t closed bank holidays so won’t have to deal with that problem for another 4 years.

OP posts:
stucknoue · 24/07/2019 07:54

Those days are bank holidays. Unless you are in a job which has 7 day working/shifts you should be given them off (though some places add them to annual leave these days to make it fair to pt workers). Rotas for shifts won't be done until nearer the time.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 24/07/2019 08:04

Fact is it's not discrimination as your original post suggests - it's just life - doesn't matter if the other woman is his wife - you did mention another woman whose partner has the baby when she's at work - still doesn't mean she should have to work Xmas and give you priority

And what about the 40 odd dads in your team? What if they are single parents and struggle with childcare (or any other dependents like elderly parents for that matter) - just because you're a woman doesn't entitle you to preferential treatment

Original poster
Pcosmum88 · 24/07/2019 08:07

Our restaurant sees bank holidays as normal working days, hourly paid staff get double time and salaried don’t.

At present I have 28 days of holiday I need to take by the end of the year and our contracts say we aren’t allowed to take them between 1st November and 25th December.

I’m going to see if he will ok me taking the week unpaid as parental leave.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pcosmum88 · 24/07/2019 08:10

40 odd dads? No pal, there are literally 3 children to people in the department. The 2 dads are my LOs dad who refuses to help with her and the director.

Thank you all for your immensely rude and unhelpful comments, they have most definitely added more doubt to my mind and I’ve made the decision to speak to citizens advice Wine

OP posts:
Sirzy · 24/07/2019 08:11

What do you think citizen advice will say?

You may be able to take it unpaid but they don’t have to agree that because it’s not emergency leave.

Wildorchidz · 24/07/2019 08:15

Citizens Advice will tell you that you are not being discriminated against and that there is no law to ensure that single mothers are entitled to take time off when nursery is closed.

Ginger1982 · 24/07/2019 08:16

I don't know what you think CAB will say. Yes it sucks that you're effectively a single mum and you need childcare for those days but regardless of whether or not you work for your DC dad's company the problem is yours to manage, just as it would be if you worked in any company like this.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 24/07/2019 08:17

Citizen's Advice won't help you. Your boss won't give you time off when you want it. That is work for you.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 24/07/2019 08:20

You said team of 46 so assumed a good proportion of those were blokes since you said there was you and 2 other mothers

Don't ask strangers for advice if you're not going accept they may have a different opinion to you

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 24/07/2019 08:20

You said team of 46 so assumed a good proportion of those were blokes since you said there was you and 2 other mothers

Don't ask strangers for advice if you're not going accept they may have a different opinion to you

BikeRunSki · 24/07/2019 08:21

OP, realistically, this is the tip of the iceberg. Once your dd starts school, she will have 13 weeks and 5 inset days off school a year! Your boss can allocate annual leave at his discretion. Being a single mum does not prioritise you in this. You and your boss, and your dd’s father, need to work something out. Honestly, the years children are at nursery are easy in comparison.

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