Male Nursery Staff

[NurseryMan25]

What is your opinion on Male nursery staff?
Do you think there is a benefit to men working with under 5’s?
Are you comfortable with Male staff working with your children? If not, why?

No judgement, no argument just looking to gauge opinions. Be honest.

It's like everyone wants to purposely misunderstand and ignore all the key issues with men and nursery/infant aged children. That's my main area of concern.

It's as if everyone wants me to ignore my life experience 🙂 I've had 4 male teachers in secondary school make moves on me. 4. I've seen them do it to other girls. Everyday a girl is raped in school in the UK by a peer. Men are a reap threat to us and our children. If we cannot tell who just by looking (and you can't) segregation of the sexes is an excellent prevention measure. It can prevent predatory access in a major way especially for the most vulnerable, our youngest children who can't yet communicate well. I stand by this for yours and mine!

It's like everyone wants to purposely misunderstand and ignore all the key issues with men and nursery/infant aged children. That's my main area of concern.

Nobody is misunderstanding or ignoring this at all. What people are saying is that banning men from childcare or teaching roles isn't the answer.

It's as if everyone wants me to ignore my life experience 🙂 I've had 4 male teachers in secondary school make moves on me. 4. I've seen them do it to other girls. Everyday a girl is raped in school in the UK by a peer. Men are a reap threat to us and our children. If we cannot tell who just by looking (and you can't) segregation of the sexes is an excellent prevention measure. It can prevent predatory access in a major way especially for the most vulnerable, our youngest children who can't yet communicate well. I stand by this for yours and mine!

Nobody is ignoring your life experience at all and it is understandable that it will colour your views on this.
I think in certain situations segregation on the basis of sex is important ( toilets, changing rooms etc) but complete segregation? No, I can't get on board with that at all. It is important that boys and girls have both male and female role models.
Your male friends and family are a much bigger rape threat to you and your children than their nursery workers or teachers who are working in a highly regulated environment with safeguarding policies in place.

You can't have been in many nurseries. They're not highly regulated and there are many in operation that are rated as requiring special measures or inadequate.

I meant segregation in certain settings- schools being one of them. Boys and girls have evidenced repeatedly that they cannot coexist in a school environment with the level of sexual assaults that take place. Its a major overlooked problem. My mind wants a clear cut solution and that is segregation in schools and continue to deliver interventions whilst each gender is safe and separated.

I still believe no male teachers with infant minors is the solution to protecting small non verbal children from the obvious risk they pose. We discriminate positively in domestic violence refuge settings (no males allowed) and in a range of other settings. This should be one of them.

Also to bring back the trans example, How long did it take before women were raped in prison, flashed in changing rooms and so on by trans people? They are an extremely tiny portion of the population yet it still happened.

If you advocate, encourage, applaud and welcome with open arms more men into nursery settings you WILL welcome pedophiles within a short space of time. So for me, the solution is to discourage it for the sake of the children. If small children need more male representation in their lives, let's arrange other ways to do that. Ways that prevent them from having contact with their privates and in fact protects innocent men from being needlessly accused by an abundant population of scarred men and women who have been victims of abuse and would rather stay safe than sorry!

Don't know how old you are but there's a VERY different culture around safeguarding in schools and children's organisations (uniform orgs, religious ones) now. Behaviour that may have been possible 20 or 30 years ago is rightly totally unacceptable now with robust safeguarding procedures in place.

Segregation isn't the answer - I went to an all girls school with mostly female teachers. It doesn't prepare you for life in the real world working with both men and women. And it isn't unheard of for women to harm children - unusual, yes, but there have still been cases of abuse, murder etc by women.

I fully recognise the need to safeguard children but the level of segregation you are suggesting @Salma80 just isn't necessary.

I'm currently sat at a community sporting event which involves children from pre school up to year 9. I'd say 75% if the coaches are male, most of them are teachers or work with children in some capacity. Without them this event wouldn't happen and the children would miss out. They volunteer their time and are a wonderful set of role models.

I'm not naive and I know that some men do pose a risk but the complete exclusion of men from teaching and childcare is not the solution

Darling all you would have learnt is that a slap on the bum and a squeeze of your boobs was not a big deal. You did not miss out you were saved.

Have a quick Google of how effective these safeguarding policies have been. It was only in 2021 that a male nursery worker was sentenced for the rape of 8 children. 8! Amazing these policies aren't they. Now proportionately, including the other male nursery staff convicted in RECENT years, that's a HIGH proportion of male nursery workers considering there aren't many to begin with. How do we prevent this? We don't let them in.

There's a big difference between a sporting event with multiple people in an open space- and having obligatory duties to cleaning private parts I.e, necessary regular access to privates multiple times a day.

Have a Google of things and just try to put yourself in the parents shoes of the abused.

Also seeing as everyone seems so keen on stats, I'll take my chances with the women. That way you know I'm not totally void of rationale. Yes they're out there, but proportionately less.

You don't think abuse happens in sport?
You're very focused on 'private parts' and nappy changing while ignoring dozen of other situations where there is potential for abuse. In fact, probably more opportunities for longer term grooming and abuse.

The topic is about male nursery staff specifically. So if I now begin to talk about the risks in sports, we will start a new topic

Threads and discussions develop 🤷🏼‍♀️

So one case in 2021 of one rape (not 8) out of however many tens of thousands of nursery staff there are means no man should work in early years? TBH that case sounds awful, but seems to involve a very poorly supervised apprentice. You read the OFSTED reports, ask for recommendations and check up on stuff like staff supervision before putting your child into a nursery etc. Certainly the one we used it would have been impossible for any member of staff to be alone with a child and the nappy changing area was quite a busy environment!

What would you do if your child wanted a playdate at a friend's house? Demand that all men are banned from the house? Statistically abuse is far more likely to be from a man known to the child within a family. A friend who was in the police was absolutely fine about her children being in childcare but very very wary about play dates as she'd seen so much of what could be going on behind closed doors.

You said tens of thousands of nursery staff. The topic specifically is male nursery staff. Currently male nursery staff account for 3% of early years in the whole country. So, In proportion, 8 children plus more that we don't know of, is an extreme number of children subjected to violent sexual behaviour from a trusted adult in a school setting, keeping in mind that number could be 0.

And to answer about playdates- absolutely no playdates unless I've met the family, know them well and no men home. That's how I roll 😂

My kids have enough play time with friends we all regularly have dinner and meet during hols without the dad's.

I think I'm done with this thread now but enjoyed the challenge!

We're all entitled to our opinions and beliefs. Hope I haven't offended anyone. Take care all !

And to answer about playdates- absolutely no playdates unless I've met the family, know them well and no men home. That's how I roll 😂

So if your child is invited to a playdate you insist that all men leave the house?!

You'd really struggle at our school where the majority of dad's are as equally involved in childcare as the mums and it's not unheard of for dad's to do the arranging! When I was finishing my PhD my DH took full responsibility for that type of thing so there was a good year where I didn't get involved in play dates at all!

Hello, Your employer/manager is very supportive of you.

I have recently experienced a bit of discrimination within my setting as a Male Nursery Nurse the story is as follows:

I currently work within a Private Day Nursery in Wales as a (Male) Nursery Nurse. On Thursday 4th of July 2024 I was removed from my base room which is currently working with children from 1 years of age to 2 years without any explanation as to the reasons for this. The following day Friday 5th July 2024 I was informed by another Nursery Nurse who took my place that the reason behind the move was due to a Parents/Carers daughter being with in the room and the Parent/Carer not liking the idea that a Male is working in the exact same room/Nursery as the daughter. If it was not for this other (Female) Nursery Nurse informing me of the reasons as to why I have been moved I would have not known as the Manager has not spoken to me about it but some how 5 other people managed to find out before myself. The 3 other colleagues of the 5 have tried to make the manager aware that it is unlawful to move myself out of the room due to it being discrimination but the manager has chosen to ignore them and continue to condone the discrimination. This has now lead to me being excluded from my base room on a Thursday and Friday. The Manager of the nursery has also NOT upheld the Nurseries Policies and Procedures relating to Inclusion and Equality, Diversity Policy, Equal Opportunities for Job Applicants and Employees, Dealing With Discriminatory Behaviour and the Equality Act 2010. There has been NO allegation made by the parent/carer in relation to myself. So it still happens even in 2024 this is still why there are rarely any Male Nurses in nurseries if they want more Male Nursery Nurse Employees the Employers have to do more which some settings sadly do not, but school Male staff on the other hand do not have any problems at all that I know of.

My sympathies. Some parents have had issues with me in the past but have always been met by managers who had my back and were happy to lose awkward customers.
In your situation I'd obviously be looking for another job. Hopefully the demand for staff in your area is as high as it is in mine.
Of course, if the manager is content that everything they've done is totally legal, it would be fine to tell the parents in your new room why you had to leave the previous one.

Good luck.