Male Nursery Staff

[NurseryMan25]

What is your opinion on Male nursery staff?
Do you think there is a benefit to men working with under 5’s?
Are you comfortable with Male staff working with your children? If not, why?

No judgement, no argument just looking to gauge opinions. Be honest.

think they are either very brave, very naive, or both.

One baseless rumour, one unsubstantiated malicious allegation and a man would be presumed guilty until proven innocent, by which time his career, reputation and life would be ruined.

Why would anyone put themselves in that position?

The same applies to women working with children too though, a woman accused off hurting a child in their care would be presumed guilty until proven innocent and suspended and it does happen. Do you think female nursery nurses are brave and/or naive too?

I've worked with some brilliant male nursery nurses.

Nappy changing has always been done in twos so nobody, male or female would be left alone changing nappies etc and a parent asking for a man to not change them would be told that can't be promised and perhaps our nursery isn't the right setting.

I think child care workers are a good thing, they provide positive male role models for young children. They show children that looking after kids isn't just just for women and men can and are just as good at it as women.

Both of our DDs have had male nursery nurses- very important- children start to gender stereotype very young and I think it's important they see both men and women in caring and teaching roles. I have never even had a moment's thought about 'risk'.

We have male teachers so why not male nursery staff?
They are professionally trained people doing the job. I respect them for carrying out the job despite all the prejudice they encounter.

@Jsmith99 no I don’t feel anymore vulnerable than any of my female colleagues, the process for any accusations made would be the same regardless of make or female. Plus we have CCTV in all rooms expect the bathroom which is very central and virtually always has more than one member of staff in it. Personally I deal with attitudes such as Idaldes by trying to open a dialogue and remove those fears and build trust and a relationship there. Sometimes that just doesn’t work and I move on, I’ve been doing this job for long enough that it doesn’t overly faze me anymore, I can’t win them all. My employer has told parents who have similar attitudes that we are not the nursery for them, that level of support is always nice and helps me feel secure and valued in my role.

My son had the most amazing male key worker at Preschool. But he was amazing because he was really good at his job, not because he was a bloke.

@Adu1thumanfema1e

I think it is absurd to suggest equivalence between how society views males who work with young children and females who work with young children. As we have seen on this thread, one is perceived as ‘the norm’ while the other is frequently seen as questionable. I am not in any way defending or justifying this blatantly sexist prejudice.

Childcare is generally fairly low paid and often men are expected to be the main wage earner in a relationship.

My DH works with me and some parents are clearly put off by having a man around their baby, but the vast majority see it as very positive, particularly if they are a single mum.

@Parker231 my argument to you question of “would you have a problem with a male teacher/dentist etc” - once your child is at school they are less likely to have 1-1 time with a man - no changing nappies etc. With regards to drs you would always be with your child whist at the doctors so that doesn’t really stand up. Preschool/nursery is the only time that your child is with another adult for a prolonged period of time, when they potentially can not communicate with you effectively if anything did happen.

Love love love having male staff in my kids nursery. The kids get a great role model and the nursery staff turnover has dropped sonce two of them joined - all female (mostly young) workplaces can be a bit like nests of vipers, with a mix of genders the drama has decreased massively!

DS’s current key worker is male, DS and all the kids adore him. I think it’s great to have some male role models in a nursery and it’s a shame there aren’t more. Never crossed my mind to be concerned.

There is one man who works in my children's nursery and my DD thinks the world of him! He obviously loves his job and is great with all the kids.

My dc has a fantastic male worker, he then set up his own business and my dc still remembered and vice versa when they met doing that 4 years later.

@MaryBoBary - do you have concerns when your DC’s nappy is changed by your DH or a male relative?

I’d have no concerns. There are no male staff at DD’s nursery, DH asked the manager when we looked around (just out of interest) and she said no men had ever applied for the jobs when advertised.

For me, I wouldn't be happy with it. It's completely down to personal experience though rather than an unfounded prejudice. I had been abused by a man in authority while in school so would want to eliminate any additional risk while I can with my own children.

Full respect to you for opening dialogue with worried parents at your place of work though.

When DS started nursery there was 1 gent in the room for the age range above DS, but he left before DS got there (Hed been there a while though). I was sad as everyone seemed to love him. Now the only guy left in the nursery (apart from the co-owner, husband and wife) is the forest school leader who is truly brilliant but don’t think he’s responsible for care in the same way one of the actually room staff are.

I meant to add, think it’s of benefit to most children to see adults of both sexes in a caring role, especially in this day and age when society seems to be striving for a better balance between the sexes/2 income households/families of all shapes and sizes.

@jsmith99

I didn't think you were defending the sexist attitude and I know a lot of people can be mistrustful of male workers. I wasn't suggesting equivalence with that.

I must have misunderstood your post because I thought you were saying a false allegation abasing a male worker is more harmful/damaging than an allegation against a female worker and that males are brave for working with children.

Did you mean males are more likely have false allegations made because of parents not trusting them? I don't know how common that is because parents who've requested male worker isn't around their child or expressed hostility have been told the nursery isn't for them and they've left. Genuinely sorry if sounded like a dick to you. I shouldn't read mumsnet while sleep deprived in early hours of morning.

DS’s room at nursery has 3 male workers in it and they are brilliant. One is the most passionate about his job I’ve ever seen anyone be - he plans all of the nursery’s activities and whenever I talk to him, he’s bubbling with plans of something he read in a book or saw on a tv show that he thinks the children will love. I really appreciate his creativity and enthusiasm, and the time he takes to share ideas with me - I’ve done a lot more activities at home with DS as a result of his input and suggestions. We saw him in the pub on Sunday, nursing a pint whilst marking up ‘365 things to make and do’ with coloured post its.

Many years ago my children were in daycare and they had a male caregiver. He was wonderful. I never gave it a second thought. We lived far away from family, so the only male role model my sons had besides their father was Tim. Both of my sons were fearful of men as infants except for Tim and their dad, and that included when they eventually met grandfathers and uncles for the first time.

@Parker231 not my OH, no. And no other male relatives have offered/had a need to change his nappy. Why would they?

It’s kind of an irrelevant question though because I know my family and if I had any concerns I wouldn’t allow it. The point is you don’t know nursery staff, you are blindly trusting them based on perhaps a few hours of visiting the nursery, and the nursery’s employment policies.

MaryBoBary

Your logic doesn't add up...firstly, children are more likely to be abused by family members not strangers.

The point is you don’t know nursery staff, you are blindly trusting them based on perhaps a few hours of visiting the nursery, and the nursery’s employment policies.
Do you apply that logic to all staff or just the male ones?

It’s kind of an irrelevant question though because I know my family and if I had any concerns I wouldn’t allow it. The point is you don’t know nursery staff, you are blindly trusting them based on perhaps a few hours of visiting the nursery, and the nursery’s employment policies.

Not irrelevant at all. Children are at greater risk of being abused by family and one of the very reasons this happens is because if the trust people place in their family members. I don't think majority of the parents of children who've been sexually abused either by a spouse, a sibling, an uncle, a grandad etc deliberately kept giving access to their children, they do so because the trust them.

Statistically your male relatives pose more of a threat to your children than nursery staff.

I have a male coworker and he’s great with the children. I think men and women play in different ways too and this is good for both boys and girls to experience.

Our nursery is set up so none of us can be alone with children so no issues around being alone for any of us with personal care.