Male Nursery Staff

[NurseryMan25]

What is your opinion on Male nursery staff?
Do you think there is a benefit to men working with under 5’s?
Are you comfortable with Male staff working with your children? If not, why?

No judgement, no argument just looking to gauge opinions. Be honest.

As for men being no more inherently sexually predatory (of even just sexually motivated) than women - FFS.

What percentage of rapists are male?
What percentage of child rapists are male?
What percentage of child sex abusers are male?
What percentage of 'minor' sex offenders are male?
What percentage of sexual harassment in your life has been done to you by males versus females?
What percentage of the customers in strip/lap dancing clubs in the UK are male?
What percentage of sex worker users are male?

There are differences, there have always been differences, there will always be.

*or even

I have worked in a nusery with male staff and they are has good has a female mumber of staff you saying that you wouldn't be fine with a male change nappies or being in the the nursery with your child but there is good male nusery worker and there is Good famle worker and bad ones that's why there is DBs checks

I think its good for a male to work in nursery because some children listen to male staff more dean female staff.

My 4yo DS has commented on how it’s all women that work at his nursery. If he’s noticed it to the extent that he would mention it to me then it clearly does have an impact. I would love there to be a male influence at his nursery, and one of the (many) reason we chose the primary school he’s going to in September was that it had at least 1 male teacher.

It strikes me as a backwards move when women say they want equality and say they want men to view childcare as equally male and female, but then seeing men in traditionally femininised workforces suddenly go 'ooohhh... ummm...yeaaah... so I like the idea of equality, but I'll just assume there's something questionable about a man working in a childcare role'.

We wouldn't make negative assumptions about women seeking employment in traditionally masculine jobs, so why opposite way round?

Not only that but children are more likely to be harmed by family and friends of the family anyway so it's just silly stereotyping.

I think we need more male nusery teachers because it's a good for the children to have a male teacher and a female teacher

There's a few of us about.

You can tell your child that looking after children is not a women's job all you want, but if you then send them to a nursery staffed entirely by women, then a primary school staffed entirely by women, they will draw their own conclusions.

Lots of nurseries and nursery chains say they would like more men. I have never heard of anybody doing anything proactively to encourage it.

May be a bit late to answer this but it's facts that predators seek out roles that put them with children so of course the mind sends alarm bells off. Men generally enjoy getting out of handling their own 2 year olds so why would they seek employment with a bunch of them? It is a strange job for a man. Like a male midwife or gynaecologist

I have a brilliant male colleague. He is far more patient than I sometimes feel in some situations. He is a great role model for children who perhaps don’t have their dad or a male figure at home. Most children respond very positively to him. He has been there since my own children were going and i saw it as a positive then too because men and women play differently and it is great for children to experience that.

In my nursery it’s pretty much impossible for anyone to be alone with children and toilets and changing area are in the rooms.

As long as there is a door there is the chance. Moreover, some predators get great satisfaction from just handling children. It's terribly sad to think this way but I can't ignore the reality we live in for the sake of some guys feelings when it's children's safety on the line. There's no doubt in my mind some men would make great addition to EYFS, but in terms of my own internal risk assessment, it goes against my instincts.

So I'm guessing you don't leave your children with family or friends then?

Literally no one men ever other than my husband (their dad). Even my mum I get worried about in case she doesn't watch them properly if someone came over. Yes I have mental scars from childhood. I wasn't abused myself but learning about someone else's was enough. I heard daily from a friend how her father had abused her. In my mind, if your biological father can anyone can! I chose as wisely as possible when getting married and STILL had appropriate conversations with my children to encourage them to mention things to me, or a teacher about anything that could even be considered grooming. Lastly, I've had a few questionable male teachers behave in odd ways around me. I was in secondary but still. If I had been reciprocal, they would have went for me. Pigs. My children's nursery and whole primary school is an all female staff. If anything ever happens to my children, it certainly won't be because I overlooked red flags for the sake of statistics or feelings.

What would you do if your child's school hired a male teacher?
My DS's school has two male teachers and hands down they are the best two teachers employed there and they have been a wonderful influence on my child.

You also realise that statistically their dad is more likely to abuse them than a male teacher?

It depends on the age group they're attending to for me. Nursery and infants school age would make me suspicious and become less as the years grow. Its when they cant communicate well whats happening where my suspicions are highest and knowing too well that men are not well suited to early years aged children. Primary school less so and even the risk shoots up in secondary. I can think of 4 teachers who were particularly pervy, touchy feely and would just outright flirt to see the response they'd get. So absolutely would be alarmed again.

Fact is men should steer clear because if I ever suspected anything I would want a full investigation. It's not worth their trouble.

My children attend an Islamic school so very unlikely they will hire a single man. I totally appreciate child abuse is more likely committed at home and we each have to mitigate those risks how we see fit

Why on earth are men not suited to working in early years? That's a massive assumption.

The nursery we used had a couple of male staff who were really excellent. I think it's better for the children to have both rather than just women because it provides positive role models.

I know various families where the Dad is the SAHP or works part-time, partly because his skill set is more suited to being at home with children, partly because it made financial sense.

Fact is men should steer clear because if I ever suspected anything I would want a full investigation. It's not worth their trouble.

I hope you don't have sons.

You are letting your past experiences influence your views on this and it's really not healthy.
As for your earlier comments about men generally not wanting to deal with their own babies or toddlers. That's just rubbish...shit dads do this but lots and lots of excellent dads are very involved in their child's upbringing.

I wanted to employ a male sitter/nanny for our kids but my DH was against it. The lady we have now said that she loses out on many adhoc jobs because this guy takes them. I've heard he has more work then he can accept. I think it's just mumsnet where everyone just gers hysterical due to the thought of a male wanting childcare as a career and being good at it.

worked with one. Had alot of parents (we had 2 year olds) worried about men wiping there toddlers butt. Easy solution was he gained 4 kids and an assistant. problem solved! He didnt last long though, he wasnt very good at his job, cleaning up or handling the kids (without bribing them with M&MS)

They're involved and do the job but I think you're all trying to make yourselves feel better about men in your nurseries.

Now that I expected lol. Good work experience though I guess

I've never said that a man can't be good in the role. I'd be absolutely fine if a man I trusted was doing the job but I will always find it questionable if a man finds himself in a nursery role. Unless he maybe needed to work with the age group for future roles in social work, child psychology etc. But just plain childcare I would remain cautious with good reason.

Please keep in mind I am not worried about them performing poorly I'm worried the well established risk of men in positions of care (priest, teacher, caregiver) having all access to our children. I am not going to encourage it for the sake of appearing progressive, I'll discourage it for the sake of our children and happily be the bad guy. If some men whose dream it is to work in childcare falls through, may they be stay at home homeschooling dads to satisfy this rare need. This is all a bit like trans people in the wrong prisons raping the inmates which was made possible by people like you considering the wants of the few at the risk of the many!

This is all a bit like trans people in the wrong prisons raping the inmates which was made possible by people like you considering the wants of the few at the risk of the many!

It's nothing like that.

And why is social work or child psychology okay but childcare not?
Arguably there would be more opportunities to abuse children in those former roles....

What about male sports coaches or dance teachers?