Would this bother you if this happened at your child's nursery?

[IdreamofClooney]

Hello

I am very upset by this as it has totally changed my feeling towards the nursery - am I being over sensitive or should I say something?

The nursery is advertised as being open from 7am - 6pm monday - friday.

The only day that DS stays all day is Friday when I collect him at 5.15.

On friday I was the only one in my department so had to look up which took a bit longer than expected (lots of doors!) so I rushed out and ran to the nursery - on the way I called to say that I may be a wee bit late. I was told "Well DS is our last child today" I said I'd be there asap and got a sigh and a "See you when we see you then".

I got to the nursery at 5.16 and actually there was still another child there as well as DS.

On another occassion I have turned up at 5.15 to find DS in his buggy outside the nursery with one of the staff who had her coat and bag with her so had obviously locked up for the day.

The reason this bothers me is that I would hate for DS to be cared for by someone who woudl rather not be there. I know that we all want to go home at the end of the day but I was made to feel that I was inconviencening the nursery. If someone turned up in my office at 5 I would not have my coat and bag on and if someone called to say for example that they needed to drop something off at 5.05 I would not say "well I only work till 5" - I work with adults and I think it is even worse if it is someone who deals with children to take that attitude.

Any advice gratefully recieved!

oh. that'll teach me not to skim read the whole thread.

Then I think the nursery are well within their rights to charge extra for each and every recurring late collection - and sorry, but nursery nurses are humans too, who have lives, children to pick up, shopping to do, household stuff to consider, partners, and they're own problems to deal with.

If collecting your DC is a problem Idream, why not ask work if you can leave earlier/work through lunch? Appreciate that your life is difficult IDream, so why not cut yourself some slack and ask work if you can leave work slightly earlier?

There has to be a way round it somehow? Pay until 6pm? (prob cheaper than paying late collection fines).

It's not a question of me being late, payiong late collections fees or extending his hours.

I have never been late (well, one minute on friday) the problem is that DS is the last child to be collected on the friday so would make no difference if I paid till 5.30 - he woudl still be last.

Sadly my work are not v flexible re working.

IDOC - have you managed to talk to nursery yet?

What you need is someone to join nursery who works longer hours / more days than you and then you won't feel so guilty

But IDoC wasn't late when she found her son outside in a buggy!
I think that is an absolute disgrace!

quite squiggle that is what I am hoping will happen!

But sadly seems that very few parents at the nursery work friday afternoons the lucky things.....

I think I will say something casually this friday afternoon when I pick him up, like "what time do most of the others leave on a friday - am feeling guilty that DS is the last one" or something.

Am thinking I have perhaps over reacted - is difficult to keep perspective when you are on your own as no one to discuss things like this with!

I don't think you've over reacted about the being outside bit

And presumably the staff will be being paid for the hours they are working?

I would have presumed that the staff would be paid until 15 or 30 mins after the last child leaves? Is DS is the last child and will be picked up at 5.15 then I would have thought that the nursery would pay staff longer than 5.15 ie to 5.30 or so? Perhaps I am wrong.

Just hate to thihnk that DS is somehow annoying the staff by being the "last one" and holding them back from the pub etc sigh

IDOC...i think that you should say something before friday to stop it possible happening again. Plus i dont think you should be defensive about it as they are inthe wrong, not you.

I think you should just nicely explain why you are unhappy with what happened as you weren't actually late and you did keep them informed. You were a bit surprised to find him outside in buggy and that this just serves to make you feel guilty about something that you shouldnt be feeling guilty about anyway.

I think if you ask "what time do most of the others leave on a friday - am feeling guilty that DS is the last one" then this implies that you may change your plans to suit them and also it is irrelevant what the others do....you pay for your DS until 5.15 and thats that...he should have the same standard of care!

Good luck

Have only read the OP. To be outside with their bag and coat is bad enough if it was 6pm but for it to be 5.16pm is way out of order!!! Off to read the rest now.

BTW Do you get the 45 minute cost refunded???

Thanks hairy baby.

I feel as if I should have spoken to the owner on Monday morning when I dropped DS off ( but was a bit stresssed out after phone call from police re stolen bag so not up to discussing it.

I only pick DS up on fridays, the rest of the week my ex picks him up earlier, of course the fact that ex is late is never commented on as it it not an issue at lunch time as tons of babies there.

Will try and say somehitng tomorrow morning as you are rigth, leaving it till friday is late

NAB3 - the nursery is advertised as being open betwen 7 - 6. on fridays DS goes from 8.45 - 5.15 - I only pay for that time.

The staff seem to leave as soon as the last child is picked up so if the last one is DS then they cannot go until I collect him at 5.15

I think that perhaps before DS started to go till 5.15 (as my Ex is not reliable to pick up him on time) the staff must have had a early day on fridays!

My last comment is now irrelevant.

x-posted

Forgot to mention that the minimum number of staff that should be on the premises is 2, even if there is only one child left. They will be paid for the full shift, so until 6pm, that's why they are so keen to get out early! 5.15pm is early in my book anyway, we used to be open until 6.45 and then we would always have a late parent!

My CM sometimes has kids waiting outside with coats on, not all bad if its a nice day, though do wander how long they are there sometimes,saying that they are not right next to road. Suggest speaking with manager to try to reach compromise, if nursery is otherwise good, say why you are worried about this, they might see it totally differently, and your concerns may not have occured to them.

I think there are lots of different things going on here.

I agree that finding your child on the dot at 5.15 outside the door is a bit off, and I think this is the bit you need to talk to the manager about.

However, regarding some of the other things, it may not be as simple as it seems:

• Just because the nursery advertises it's open until 6 pm, it doesn't mean that it WILL be if it has no children booked in until 6 pm on Fridays
• Staff shifts may well be timed to finish at 5.15pm on Friday. The day is probably split into several different shifts for different staff, depending on how many children are on the roll, and for what hours. The legal requirements for staff cover for numbers/ ages of children are quite complex, so the manager will need a tight rota.

In my experience of having had the DSs in nursery, there isn't a 45 min 'buffer zone' after the children are collected. Some staff tidy up (and the children might help e.g. putting toys away) whilst another might be reading stories etc. Our nursery also closed at 6 pm and the remaining staff members and the manager left immediately behind the last child.

I think you need to work out exactly what it is you are angry about. In my mind the 'last child' comment is probably the most irritating and unnecessary, and what you should focus on, followed by the coats on and outside in buggy thing.

But I wouldn't go in all guns blazing - as someone said earlier they may think they're actually doing you a favour by having him ready - I would have appreciated that when I did pick up, as all the coats/ bags things sused to take ages when I was just desperate to get home!

You do sound very stressed by it all, so maybe this is all just feeling worse than it is in reality. I'm sure the nursery are looking after your DS well, and if he seems happy then that's the most important thing. However I'm afraid the sort of salary nursery nurses get paid doesn't usually lend itself to massive commitment beyond the paid hours.

Hope you sort it out.

We have the same problem at our nursery with parents strolling (and I do mean strolling) in at 6 on the dot and sitting there with us until 6.20-6.30 chatting about their child's day.

Not being funny, I'm all for professionalism etc but at the end of the day I've got a family too to look after and I don't want to have to stay that long on a friday night after work, especially with DD (who comes to the nursery with me) and especially as I don't get paid after 6.

I would be angry though if I saw DD strapped up and ready to go unless I really knew that it had been done to benefit me at the end of a long work day. At the same time, I wouldn't have a child ready to go home either because that, to me just smacks of unprofessionalism.

I think there may also be an element of you being super-sensitive to these sorts of comments because you feel guilty that he is the last there.

This is not an accusation - as I have said, I am in the same situation and I do feel guilty even though the nursery staff have never passed the sort of comments (or done the waiting-outside-in-the-buggy) which yours have.

What do all these parents do that they get to pick their DC up earlier, that's what I want to know? I am regarded as a a part-timer if I leave in time to pick up DS at 5:30 and then do a 9 mile cross-country rally to get DD - she is booked in until 6, I am rarely there after 5:50pm, and she is almost always the last one

I always wonder that too squiggle - I leave at 5 on the dot on fridays to get DS at 5.15 and he is the last one there. I presume a lot of the other parents work part time days so finish earlier.

I feel a bit calmer about it after thinking about it a bit more and reading all of the responses -so thank you all for your input.

I agree that I am sensitive about it as I do feel so guilty that DS is in nursery so much, but I know that I am reliable and always drop him off and collect him that the agreed times and that is all I can do.

Dont feel guilty...it doesnt sound like your ds is actually in nursery that much if your ex picks him up at lunchtimes on teh other days.

Plus dont forget you are doing the best you can for your ds by working for your family.

You said he loves nursery so please dont feel bad

The thing is, this is the only child left at 5.15 and the parent has only paid up until that time. So the nursery is probably staffed accordingly, with noone doing the later shift to 6.00. The staff are probably being paid until 5.15, which is why they want to go then.

I think you're being unreasonable, to be honest. Nursery staff work long hours and in London at least are usually travelling for miles to get to work.

If you were paid until 5.15, would you be happy about someone expecting you to be available for work until 6.00?