Settling in sessions

[IsabellaMoltisantixx]

My 9month dd has her settling in sessions next week but just a bit confused

How many did you get for your nursery? Been given two but what if she needs more, they seemed to think two was enough
Just confused cos if she doesn't settle in well on both, shouldn't I be given another?

Thanks

I've veen given 3 in a week, then they said they assess and if she needs more following week we'll book them in...they gave examples like having another nao there etc

@Lazypuppy

Thank you
Three is better than 2! I'm shocked as this is supposed to be an outstanding nursery too

I was given 2. But I started early and then paid for half day sessions starting at 1 a week and building up, which I seen as settling her in. I did this for a month before going back to work so I could be happy leaving her.
On another note she was such a clingy baby and now a very very confident nearly 2 year old and loves nursery! Doesn't even look back now when she is being dropped of

DD had 2 when she started which I was surprised at. DS has 3 at the same place.

It popped up on my FB page the other day or I'd have totally forgotten!! My DS did 1 hour a day for 5 days, before full time the following week (8-5). He was 6 months old then. Didn't do him any harm. He's 4.8 now and loves nursery!!

Certainly in my area two settling-in sessions seems the norm.

How long is each session? Are they free or charged for?

Under 1s often settle quite quickly. An older child who say hasnt been left with anyone will struggle much more.

@itsaboojum

Hi thank you for the response,
They're 3 hours long each time in there filling paperwork etc
I just remember when my other dd went to a different one they said to bring her anytime in the week so we're really flexible! She's 10 now so this was years n years ago
I'm

@itsaboojum

They're free as far as I know as it's an induction at the same time too

OK, at all sounds perfectly normal.

No offence, but there’s a limit to how much you can expect for free. They are working those hours after all and, sadly, they have to guard against the small minority of parents who would grab unlimited free hours of settling sessions if given the chance.

If you do think more sessions are needed, discuss this with the manager. They should be able to accommodate your request, but be prepared to pay for the additional time.

TBH there is no 'right' formula for settling in, even though settling in sessions are frequently seen as some sort of 'magic bullet'. I just don’t think the child development 'experts' know as much as they like to think.

Some children settle immediately, other takes months or never truly settle (some still cry in Year 3 at school.) It's quite common for a child to settle well, then go through a later period of becoming unsettled.

And short sessions don’t replicate the reality of mum being away for up to ten hours when she first goes to work.

I have a strong suspicion settling sessions do more for the parent than the child, in terms of getting used to separating.

Our nursery did 3. I also went back to work 3 days p/w for the first month to ease the transition and then 5 days after that. DS settles in fine and so confident that when he started school he just strolled in without us. Didn't look back, while I stood there blubbing.

(Childminder)
I used to do a short morning, no breakfast no lunch.
Then I'd do a longer morning including those to check that the child would be happy to eat/drink.
But as long as I was happy I could settle and feed a child we're good to go.

We do at least 3, but if the child needs more we’ll do more. When my son went to nursery he only did 2 but he was happy, if he hadn’t settled in I would have asked for more.

Oh if a parent wanted more I was happy to do so but they'd be paid for.
Quite a few chm I know did 'settling in sessions' whilst parent had to go to a meeting then never signed up.

@ fuzzyfozzy

Childminders saw a lot of that in my area not long ago: being used for 'free settling sessions' when mums just wanted free babysitting for hairdresser appointments or Christmas shopping.

Non-refundable deposits and blacklisting offenders now act as a good deterrent.

I do

• 2 hours
• a morning
• an afternoon
• start

But I do offer more if parents want it.

Mine had three (outstanding nursery) which were free (charging started from her first full day). Think we could have had more of we'd wanted them but would have had to pay for them.
Ours were spread over a week, so:
Monday: went in for an hour with her. I stayed in room and did paperwork, asked questions whilst keyworker got to know her.
Wednesday: went in with her and played for about 20 minutes, then left her with keyworker for 1.5 hours.
Thursday: went in and left her almost immediately with keyworker. She was in for 3 hours across lunchtime so she experienced a mealtime there.

She then started the following Monday on three full 10.5 hour days. And honestly, it was fine. If you're confident about it they will pick up on that. She did cry initially for the first two or three times but I'd check the CCTV of the room once I got to reception and she had already stopped crying and was either having a cuddle with the keyworker or busy playing. Don't do long drawn out goodbyes as they don't help them settle either!

I've just had an email reminder
And the sessions are one hour long! I'm shocked! How can they get her settled in one hour on two days?

Also given a 100 pound non refundable deposit so it's not to do with the fear of mums trying to use free childcare! Really annoyed!

Can see from here everyone is saying an average of 2-3 sessions and 2 hours!!!!

What should I do?

Can she start a few days before you need her to, so you can say you'll be picking her up after lunch on those days? That way she'll have the one hour sessions and then 2, or 3 half days?

But try not to worry too much. They do settle really quickly once they get into full days.

I’ve had 2 kids in various nurseries over the years, two was the norm. At the end of the second session they can always offer / you can suggest some more

I mean if the child still seems very unsettled

Same here 2 sessions then we paid for a few more on top.

What should you do?
Start the sessions and see how you all get on.

Do you think she'll be hard to settle? My ds only had a couple of settling sessions but didn't even need those. You seem convinced that your dd will not settle when in fact she actually might.

If she genuinely won't settle they will adapt but for many children that will be enough and having more time actually becomes unsettling for them longer term.

Speak to them if you are worried but if they are an outstanding nursery with lots of experience they will know what they are doing and should hopefully be able to reassure you.