I am so worried about my little boy starting nursery

[babysharkdodododododo]

I go back to work from mat leave in 4 weeks. My little boy will be 8 and a half months. He is my whole world and the thought of putting him in nursery is tearing me apart. He will be heartbroken and I will be heartbroken and I just don't want to do it at all.

I have a job that I like, it's not that. I just dont want to leave my little baby boy. He's too little.

I have to go back because we can't afford for me not too. It's just not an option.

But I want to stay at home and raise my boy, not pay someone else to do it

It is a lovely nursery. I viewed loads and this is by far the best i could find. But i want him at home with me. I am going to miss him so much.

Is there any way this could possibly work out ok? Has anyone felt like this and it's been ok? I am so upset about it.

OP don't let @CanaBanana upset you after what has been a mostly positive thread. You're doing what's right and necessary for your family as a whole, I'm sure you've thought through your options.

I've just gone back to work too, but my LO is 12 months.
It's so hard when they struggle to settle in, it took my LO around 4 weeks of 3 full days a week. Drop off killed me BUT we suddenly turned a corner and she stopped crying. I'm not even sure what did it, the staff really did their best so I guess just time. So maybe you do need to give it a little longer.

Also taking control of the situation as much as you can might help you feel more at ease- will nursery allow you to send a lovely/comfort object with him? Can they give you more info about what they are doing to settle him when he's upset so you can work with them to find the best way?
Call as often as you want during the day and ask them for as much info as you need about how and what he's doing.

But also as others have said maybe look at other childcare options if you can, just to get an idea of what's out there incase. If you truely feel unhappy with the situation and you don't feel like it's improving then it's fine to take a step back and look elsewhere or have your mum take care of him if that's possible and try again later down the line.

Whatever you do, never let anyone make you feel bad for your choices about being a working mum - you're doing what you feel you need to and even though it feels awful now, your LO will be ok and I'm sure you will find an option which works for him in the end x

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for the support on this thread. I wanted to update but didnt want to post anything negative.

He wasnt settling in his nursery and there were a number of things that i didnt like. So I viewed some others and managed to find an amazing nursery who have gone above and beyond to accomodate us at short notice.

He had his first settling in session today and i cant believe im saying this...but he actually enjoyed it!!!!!!!

To anyone going through the same - those first few weeks are so tough. But if we can do it so can you. And if you're instinct are telling you the setting isn't right don't be afraid to move them - you know your child best

I've been following this with interest OP and I'm absolutely delighted for you and your DS. What an excellent outcome! You must be over the moon!

If you have a few minutes would you mind just summarising briefly what the new nursery has done to make you feel so at ease? I'm really interested as I have just secured a nursery place for my DS - 2.5 days a week starting next spring when he'll be 13ish months. I'm absolutely dreading it already, and also annoyed with myself for letting the worry hang over me like a black cloud during my maternity leave. Any hints or tips you feel able to share would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

Ruffles I'd be happy to! The things that have made me so comfortable with this nursery are (in no particular order!)

The staff seem genuinely interested in getting to know my little boy. Theyve asked lots about his routine and his likes and dislikes

There are 4 members of staff in his room so its very consistent. Unlike his old nursery were there would be different people there all the time

The people working there have such warm and lovely relationships with all the children. It's hard to describe but you could feel it. They all talk so enthusiastically about the things they enjoy doing with the children.

The security is great, i could not get past the door without a member of staff coming to see me.

They send updates to your phone throughout the day with pictures etc and have made it very clear that I am more than welcome to phone or even pop down on my lunch!

They have regular parents events were parents go in to do activities with the children

They send home his folder every month with photos, observations and planning

They encourage parents to let them know if their child has a new book or song that they love, or has had a fun outing at the weekend because they'll try and incorporate it in their planning

They are all about your baby's routine - he can have breakfast whenever he is ready, can nap on demand. He is used to being cuddled to sleep so they have a little rocker that is nice and enclosed which they're going to try with him

They have photos of the childs family all around the room

I had his settling in session today and spent a lot of it having a lovely chat with the people in his room, i felt like i got to know them and they got to know me

Im trying to think what else...if it also helps, what unsettled me about his old nursery was-
No feedback. At all. Unless I asked, and then it was given in dribs and drabs. I felt like an inconvenience

Didnt want him to nap except at lunch time. Even when i told them he really needed to, they didnt even try

Was always sitting on his own, not with the other children nearby and there never seemed to be anything happening

Always different people working there. Was often let in by people who didn't recognise me and didnt question who i was.

Some (not all)people working there were clearly impatient with the children and didnt actually seem to like them

One of them describe my baby as being 'very whingy'. I nearly had to pick my jaw up off the floor. It was the last straw!

I hope that helps a little bit - if i think of anything else i will add it on!

So glad you've found a good place.

Thank you so much @babysharkdodododododo! I really appreciate it. I hope your little boy continues to settle in brilliantly, and thrives!

Yay @babysharkdodododododo so pleased for you and LO hope it all goes well and he can start enjoying hanging out with his new friends! x

Just to update again, my DS has his second full day at his new nursery today! He loved it!!!!!! He was full of smiles when I picked him up and they told me that he hadn't cried all day apart from for a seconds when I left. They said they can't believe how quickly he has settled! It is totally different to his old nursery and we are both so much happier. I can't believe I can actually say after all this worry that my little boy is happy and thriving at nursery!! Thank you again for all the support.

Seeing this latest update has made my day! You must be absolutely over the moon and so proud! Hurrah for your superstar little boy!