'Naughty' is it acceptable to use

[Smiler1972]

A worker at my DD's nursery often tells me my DD hasn't been listening. Today my mum picked her up and the worker told her that my DD had to have a couple of 'time outs' for not listening.

My DD is 3 yrs and 2 months old. She has said to me tonight a couple of times, and again at bedtime, that "Anna told me I am naughty at nursery today'

So my question is is it acceptable to use the word naughty or does it label children - something I avoid at home. Would you have a word with the team leader?

My DD loves nursery and I don't want her to start disliking it by being told off - yes when she goes to pre school it has to be stricter but she's not in that room until September. I just want her to play at this age, whilst still learning boundaries.

Well if she was being naughty then why shouldn't she be called naughty? How do you think not using the n word will help the situation?

I think it's ok. I mean some behaviour is naughty isn't it? I don't think it should be overused and I'm all for looking into the route cause of behaviour rather than just repeatedly telling a child off but I don't sugar coat it to my lo. If he's wilfully being naughty then I call him out on it.

A lot of the problem with children today is this snowflake attitude and overthinking.

If your child is being naughty then they are being naughty. They need to be told, and asked not to do it again, and told the consequences for if they do it again.

Worry more about the poor behaviour and start addressing it than the fact someone has told your children, correctly, that they were naughty.

But she was being naughty? I’m with the other previous posters on this one.

Good lord- it's labelling bad behaviour when behaviour is bad. Of course it's okay! Your daughter will survive.

I absolutely am firm with her, she gets told off for things she does wrong. She doesn't get treated like a snowflake.

It's just things I have read on here, parenting groups etc. That oppose the use of the N word as it labels a child. Then the child has an excuse - it's because I am naughty- etc etc.

I’d expect nursery workers to know enough about child development to not use it in that way. I.e. What you did was naughty, not that the child was naughty.

If she’s done something naughty why not? I mean when my dc are naughty I say something like “X you know that is naughty don’t you”

Is her hearing ok as it all seems to be about her not listening. Or does she get engrossed in what she's doing so not hear instructions? Could you ask more about what the behaviour involves?

I will tell my three year old charge he is being naughty if he is. I don't see the logic/benefit in not! Today he found a little pebble in the park and tools fancy to it and I told him he could only carry it home if held it tight and didn't bang it on anything. He then banged it on a glass shop window. That was naughty. I took it off him and told him off for not listening and doing something that was naughty. He knew he'd been naughty- not a bad thing. He'll still be pleased to see me in the morning.

She wasn't listening and had to have multiple time outs - sounds like naughty behaviour to me.

Maybe spend more time on teaching DC boundaries and following instructions and less time beimg offended that naughty behaviour has been called naughty.

Otherwise you'll be in danger of getting school reports about how Child is a lively and energetic student who is strong willed aka 'this is a student who doesn't listen to instructions and likes to do.as they please'.

Naughty is fine! If she's broken the rules then she has been naughty. It's like misbehave or rule breaker.... if the child has done wrong how else do you tell them?

smiler I have three children (age 2,4&6) and IMHO its he parents who spout stuff like that and don’t use the word naughty etc who have naughty children.

Parents who will discipline and aren’t snowflakey about terminology tend to have children who behave. Just what I’ve witnessed. I’ve seen too many parents not believe in being firm and not give their child a bollocking when they NEED one.

Cross posted with you OP.

There's a difference between 'Charlotte you are a naughry girl' and 'Charlotte that is naughty'.

I’ve worked in many nurseries and we are not allowed to use the word “naughty”
We have to say things like “that behaviour was unkind” or “that was dangerous”.
I suppose it explains to a child why they shouldn’t have done what they did, instead of saying “you don’t do that, it’s naughty”.

Labelling children is bad, sure. But being called naughty once isn't labelling her. I would hope they use lots of positive praise and encouragement too. Maybe ask for a meeting where you go through their behaviour management policy and check exactly how they handle this stuff if you're concerned.

I don't like the word naughty and never use it. I wouldn't have been v happy if nursery had called DD naughty either. It seems a bit old-fashoined to me.

I think it's much more useful to identify the problem behaviour e.g. not listening as that has a concrete meaning to the child whereas naughty is a bit of a catch all.

So like a previous poster said that their charge was banging glass with a stone, it makes more sense to say “that is dangerous and could scratch or smash the glass” rather than “that’s naughty”.
Having said all of this, I do use the word naughty at home.

I quite like 'old-fashioned' ways of boundaries and children being told off when needed. Better behaved children that way.

obviously I explained that to him, goinground. I also told him it was naughty.

I always tell my son if he is naughty

I think my nursery actually doesnt use the word naughty as they have never said it to me

If your daughter is doing the same things she isn't allowed to do then you need to address it with her and so do nursery

Having boundaries actually makes children feel safer

I agree she should get told off for what she has done, she certainly does at home. I'm not offended she has been disciplined.

I am concerned about the label. I'll ask them tomorrow.

I tell my children if their behaviour is naughty, but I avoid calling the child themselves naughty.

OP, try not to take on board too much the collective mumsnet hysteria over the word naughty, toilet brushes, parent and baby parking spaces, trans people etc. If you followed all these things seriously in real life you’d be an angry, anxious, overthinking mess who thinks people live in filth.

At the end of the day it is your call and you can ask them to use different words with her if you feel uncomfortable

I don't feel the comments from others about spending more time with her is productive

Is she bored at nursery if she is acting up?